Can I fix this without rehoming?

[Nctothisfornow]

I have three dogs. 2(m), 1(f) and 8(f) months.

The two oldest can fight from time to time, but it is rare and manageable.

8 month old started guarding her food. The others dont ever steal it from her either as theyre fed seperately. But 8 month old could see 1 year old during meal time. Resulted in her sometimes not eating (to guard it) and growling from the other end of the room. I completely seperated to solve that problem.

Now she is guarding me. I cant stroke the other two when she is near me because all hell breaks loose. She was very submissive to my male, but now she is gaining confidence there.

The fighting is increasing and getting more aggressive. I have ordered the book "mine" in the hopes i can fix the whole problem.

In the meantime, everyone is telling me to rehome and id rather not.
Their reasons are my other 2 got on great when she wasnt here. I have kids (7, 9 and 13). Walking has become a nightmare as she is so strong willed she is really hard to train (i think she is just very intelligent).
The cats are terrorized by her and this has encouraged my 1yo dog to join in the fun of it, when she never used to.
8 month old has urinated on my settees a few times.

She doesn't sound fun. I don't expect that she will ever be easy. It's also rather difficult to imagine who would want her.

You need to work with a really good behaviourist.

They are are border collies.
Their walks have been decreasdd due to me being unwell and i think this could be a big factor in it all.
8mo is an absolutely lovely dog, very head strong and challenging which i really like about her. Her training is getting better and i see the potential of a very obedient loyal dog once she is older.

I am living in hope that i can fix this as i love all of my dogs. I am worrying that maybe i am putting my feelings above all else though. This thought came about when a huge fight broke out lastnight between the 2 females because my 13yo ds was stroking both of them. 8 month old did not like this and attacked the other.
The jealousy started with just me, now it is obviously happening all around. My 13yo is good around them knowing to keep his distance but tries to distract, but i worry this happens with my younger dc and they end up injured. I get myself in and break them up (wrong move maybe) but i only go in if i can get a grip on their collars to force some distance between them. Theyre too vicious to leave them to sort it between themselves.
My younger two dc - i really worry they will follow my lead and go in for it. My older ds has and that is why he now knows not to as ive explained and warned him of the dangers. Theyre never alone with them but if that situation ever came about i worry about how it could/would play out.

Sorry but I'd rehome - she is miserable and sounds like she needs to be an only child. Do it now before these problems become ingrained and you can't find her a home.

I know that sounds harsh but she doesn't sound happy and she will make you miserable too.

Try the APBC, ABTC or the CCAB websites and find a good, qualified, behaviourist.

Preferably one who aims to work in the positive reinforcement quadrant of operant conditioning, or systematic desensitisation and counter conditioning when looking at classical conditioning.

A good behaviourist is a brilliant asset.

I did say months ago that she seemed she needed to be an only dog, but i hoped she would grow into the role of having other dogs. She clearly isnt. I am finding it difficult to accept this as i love her to bits and she is a fantastic dog (without the other two). I also hate the whole rehoming thing. I feel like ive failed her

You need a BC specialist trainer and fast, before someone gets hurt.

Our BC is not good with other females of any species (dogs, cats, rabbits). Our female GSD is kept separate from her, whilst the male Rotties are fine.

I'd rehome, its too much, 3 dogs and cats and kids as well.
Fair enough if they all get on, but you cant be having all this.
I'd give her to a border collie rescue place where they do lots of checks and make sure she has a suitable home.It sounds like she would be better off being the only dog.
I'm sure you will be able to get a nice home for her.

There is one behaviourist around here. He is quite expensive. I will get in touch with him to see what he suggests, what he can offer and at what price.

I would rather exhaust every avenue before giving up

Definitely try a behaviourist first, if they say she needs to be an only dog then at least you know that's the right thing to do for her and everyone else.

Our BC lives as an inly dog for about half the year (with student DD), and she's much happier that way. She'll put up with a male Shih Tzu as he leaves her alone and vice versa. It's when she's here that life can get interesting, though she is improving.

“Their walks have been decreased,,,”
I think this will e a huge factor, sorry to say. Lack of exercise is the very first thing to look at with dog behaviour, and especially in BCs.
As a first step, Can you look into a dog walker / someone that can take them to free run / agility classes.
It is not just the physical exercise they need but the mental stimulation

I think you actually need to rehome her asap otherwise an animal or person will get hurt. The situation isn't fair on your kids or your other animals.

A behaviourist might help a bit, but it won't be a magic wand.

She's not a bad dog, and border collies are eminently trainable, but some are not good with other dogs and cats. She would just be much better suited to being an only dog. I think the problem is not so much her but the situation.

norks - I agree. This would be the very first thing I would change to see if it helped. These dogs are all young animals with a huge amount of energy and mental power. This needs an outlet otherwise it will find its own.

I would also consult a behaviourist to help. There is no reason at all you cannot crack this, but it does depend on the time, energy, patience and money you have available. If you are unwell, I would imagine you are going to need help. Even exercises like giving the young-un treats while you pet another dog is going to require two adults to achieve.

Is there anyone you can call on?

Do they work at All? 3 BCs indoors without enough exercise or mental stimulation is a recipe for disaster. Pure bred working dogs need exactly that - to work!

Lack of exercise will be key. They're notoriously high energy working dogs. If you can't manage it, I'd suggest hiring a dog walker for a few weeks to see if more exercise improves things - if it doesn't it's another reason to rehome, if it does then carry on until you are well enough to do it yourself.

Also look at enrichment activities and brain games; the Facebook group Canine Enrichment is brilliant. And training them to do tricks (beyond the basics) e.g. Roll over, spin, paw, play dead etc etc will help with the mental exercise needs

Also look up resource guarding, which is the technical term for what she's doing, and you will find lots of help. And get the behaviorist in.

If sufficient exercise, enrichment and a behaviorist together don't work, then rehoming would be a sensible option, but I don't think you're at that point yet.

I have just tried one on one with her. Letting her run on the field outside of my home. Trying to encourage ball play. She is far too curious to stop for even one second to focus on the ball haha.

I think it is a lot to do with insecurities and lack of exercise. We do a lot of training.

These dogs i walked and walked and took them to wide open spaces so they could run and play. 1 is very ball focused and the other 2 tend to focus on him. With me being unwell i havent been able to walk as much as i could.

It is pleasing to see people have a view that this can be fixed! I will keep working on it. Most importantly try and increase their physical acitivity, especially the youngest.

My book on resource guarding is due for delivery today.

Are there any jobs i could give her that do involve some form of guarding? Just thinking if i could work with it, rather than against it? Just a thought...i have no idea

This is extremely common border collie behaviour and at 8 months you have just hit the teenage stage - this can be worked through but will need some training and time. Good thing about collies is that they will learn quickly.

In the first instance if there is as much as a lip curl quietly remove her from the situation. I would have a house line on her in the house and if another dog comes to you and she reacts negatively remove her to another room immediately. Say nothing, calm body language from you, when she is calm and quiet allow her back into the room again saying very little.

You probably do not need a behaviourist for this but a good collie trainer with collie knowledge will be able to help you.

If exercise is a problem at the moment work her brain, calm activitivies, scent work, basic trick training, make her work for all her meals.

Thank you.

I have been removing myself from the situation when she raises her lips. It must be doing something because there are times the jealousy is there but she expresses it by biting at my sleeve to pull my hand to her. Which isnt a good thing, but it is better than the fighting and she doesnt do it to hurt me.

Thank you to all who have said it can be worked through. I think i was feeling the pressure and worry of others a little too much.

I see the potential once she is past this puppy stage.
My oldest bc was an absolute nightmare as a pup. He was a mouthy pup. Defiant. He is now a brilliant dog. I questioned what i was thinking when i got him, many times!
People said the same about him.

Ive always had BC and they have all been black and white. There was never an issue with training etc.
My oldest now is a tri and so is my youngest. My middle is black and white and was the perfect pup.
I blame the tri's haha. Same with the blue merles - they are head strong and harder to train.