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The doghouse

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Original poster

We've had to give our rescue dog back

31 replies

tigerpug · 19/12/2017 16:24

And I am absolutely devastated. We picked him up on Sunday morning, having spent such a long time planning, preparing and speaking to his fosterer. He was coming to live with us and our other rescue dog. Both dogs seemed to be wary of each other (despite the initial meetings going fine), which made him even more wary, to the point where he lunged and snapped at us last night. He was an absolute beauty, and so kind and loving, and i had totally fallen for him.

I feel so sad for him that things didn't work out. According to his fosterer his reaction was totally out of character, and i completely understand why he might have done it. With children in the house we knew he had to go, but id have given anything to keep him and work on the situation.

OP posts:

Amber5099 · 19/12/2017 23:58

Sorry to hear about this.
My opinion would be that the dog was maybe still uncomfortable in his/her surroundings / new smells another dog in the house and at first all of this can seem frightening to the dog

MyDcAreMarvel · 20/12/2017 00:01

Seems a bit premature to me, why didn't you wait at least a few days to see if he settled. Surely you wouldn't leave the dog alone with the dc anyway.

WeeMadKillerKelpie · 20/12/2017 00:51

I was in a similar boat two years ago. Took me four months to finally be approved to rescue a ten year old jack Russell i had my heart set on. When he arrived, over the next few days it became very clear he did not like my two sons. He snapped at them a good few times.

I considered sending him back, even posted on here and many said to put him back.

But I didn't. I have him time, which meant supervision at all times and also teaching my son's to be respectful towards him. He was totally fine with my daughters.

I've now had DDog for two years and I'm that time he has gradually begun to like my sons. I'm glad I didn't give up on him.

I don't know your situation and I'm sure you have done what's right for you. Just some rescue dogs need more work and time than others.

Sealsarewaterdogs · 20/12/2017 00:54

He's been through a lot, in a new environment with a new dog. Give him a chance and be patient. What a very sad shame to take him back, please at least get another rescue and not support breeders. Poor little lad .

Catsrus · 20/12/2017 08:31

I've had 6 puppies , 5 rescues, 2 failed rescues. The failed rescues were both adult dogs who were determined to kill the cats. Both were supposed to be ok with cats. The first we had for a week, giant breed. Chased my small dc, the chickens, tried to destroy the rabbit run, killed one of my elderly cats. At that point he went back. When we had a similar temperament dog 10yrs later, large breed, I spotted the signs and she went back to breed rescue within 48hrs. Both dogs were rehomed without other animals. We had other rescues that scrapped with the existing dogs but there was a qualitative difference in attitude.

My latest rescue terrier came back into rescue within 3 days as he fought with the other family dog in the first home. I'd been second on the list for him and he was fine with my dog, and the cats ... killed a chicken but that was my fault. He's got issues with some other dogs but worships our new puppy.

Not every rehoming is right for dog and family. Far better to recognise it early and give the dog a chance to find the right home.

ThymeLord · 20/12/2017 13:29

That seems incredibly premature. The dog has hardly had two seconds to get used to things.

TheHodgeoftheHedge · 20/12/2017 14:12

I do think that not all rehomes are successful matches for various reasons and obviously we don't know the full story here, but I am inclined to agree that 48 hours (which will have been hugely unsettling for him) is incredibly a short time to make that decision - he hasn't been given much of a chance. I am sorry you have had to make this decision.

Iflsido · 20/12/2017 16:27

Sorry you've had to experience that op. We did an emergency foster for a couple of dogs overnight in the summer. One of our own dogs was awful with the 'interlopers'. It was horrible seeing our one stressed out and aggressive. The tension was palpable and we didn't believe they would settle.

I know the situation is different but it still felt frightening at the time and then awful moving the new ones on.

OneOfTheGrundys · 20/12/2017 17:58

We had to give back one of ours once after about 1 month. She repeatedly attacked our other, elderly and vulnerable dog and after she shredded his face and ear when she discovered us having a cuddle we knew she had to go.

We took her back, gave a full and detailed account of all her positives and stipulated one dog household. She was adopted in a week and they still send us photos of her from time to time, living the life of Riley.

She’s great with other dogs in neutral situations. Just not in the home.

We weren’t the right environment for her and maybe you weren’t for your chap.

PoisonousSmurf · 20/12/2017 18:04

This kind of thing is what is putting me off rescue dogs. They could snap at any time. Most of those poor dogs have been through hell, but they need VERY experienced owners.
And as a novice 'potential' dog owner, I feel that I will have to get a puppy.

OneOfTheGrundys · 20/12/2017 20:06

We’ve had multiple sighthound rescues. She was tricky but all the rest have been soft as butter.

Original poster

tigerpug · 20/12/2017 20:17

Thank you so much for your messages. I have discussed this with the original fosterer, the rescue centre behaviouralist, and a few experts over the last few days. Like all of your messages, there is such a difference of opinion based on each individual opinion.

I spent a few teary hours yesterday, and have thought one and hard about it today. I keep swinging between the two points -

Maybe it was too soon to make that decision, and I should have given it more time

It was the right decision to make - how could i risk the same thing happening to one of my children

I desperately want to give him the love that he deserves - god knows we want him so much, and we are absolutely willing to put in the work that a rescue entails. We have already done it once with our rescue dog here. But I have never felt scared before, and that was the only factor in the decision we made. It is made harder by the fact that we could attribute his reaction to anything - there were no loud noises, no one was coming into the room, or even talking. I simply don't know what the trigger was that made him lunge.

If i felt more confident about the situation I would have him back in a shot, I really would. I would be really interested in hearing what others would do in my situation, especially with children in the house.

I really appreciate all your replies

OP posts:

tabulahrasa · 21/12/2017 06:49

For me it would depend on the exact circumstances...

But without those, I don't think it is too short a time to have gone, that's an issue I don't feel equipped to deal with.

Nomoretears56 · 21/12/2017 07:03

We got our rescue Greyhound 18 months ago, she settled with mysterious husband and I perfectly but when my son (22 at the time) sat next to to her she would growl and show her teeth. We got some advice, every time he came into their room he was gave her a treat, throwing it at the first and getting slowly closer to her, it worked an they are now very close, however if I'd had younger children and her reaction had been to growl and grimace at them I'd have had no hesitation in returning her, saddening as it is a dog is an an animal and it's always worth remembering that. Good luck for the future and don't feel guilty.

Nomoretears56 · 21/12/2017 07:03

*my!! Blood-type predicted text!!!

Nomoretears56 · 21/12/2017 07:04

See what I mean lol

roundtable · 21/12/2017 07:09

We had to return a rescue dog on the advice of the rescue behaviourist.

He did point out that for every one dog that wasn't a fit with a family there would be ten that would. So we tried again and he was right. Don't give up on the idea of a rescue dog

Iflsido · 21/12/2017 07:11

That's good advice @roundtable

We've always had rescues and always will but yes there are some that wouldn't fit.

LEMtheoriginal · 21/12/2017 07:15

I think you did the right thing. The dog didn't sound like he was happy in your house (not your fault) and probably worried by your dog. I think much rather take that stress away from him immediately than put him through trying to settle. Add Christmas bedlam into the mix too and it would be so stressful for him. Dogs don't lunge at you unless they feel really threatened.

Hard for you though but please don't feel bad - you tried. It didn't workout this time. This dog will go back to foster rather than kennels and hopefully be rehome as a single dog. There will be other dogs more suitable for your family. We have two and the established dog accepted the rescue readily. This would definitely not be the case with every dog as he is a little bastard sometimes doesn't always get on with other dogs. They just clicked are both bastards

LizzieSiddal · 21/12/2017 07:19

Please don't feel bad about your decision, if you felt frightened then you did the right thing. You do not put a dog before the safety of your dc.

My sister has just had a very similar experiece. She's successfully had rescue dogs before, the last one seemed fine initially, but after about 3 weeks, completely out of the blue, he lunged at her and actually bit her hand. She decided to give him a second chance, a week later he did exactly the same thing to her dh. That was it, the dog went back.

olliegarchy99 · 21/12/2017 07:22

poisonous
This kind of thing is what is putting me off rescue dogs. They could snap at any time. Most of those poor dogs have been through hell, but they need VERY experienced owners.
And as a novice 'potential' dog owner, I feel that I will have to get a puppy
this is so sad and it is such a shame that potential owners reject a rescue dog for this idea that 'most have been through hell'. This is not true. I have had 2 rescue lurchers and they were in rescue because of circumstances beyond their control (owner going abroad, divorce in the family). They responded well to a safe comfortable new home.

Justabadwife · 21/12/2017 07:41

We had to give our rescue back when i was younger, my mum and dad went to pick him up.
He was the perfect dog really, loving, good off the lead, good recall, friendly.
He'd only been home 4 hours when a neighbour came round with some dog stuff for him, he was all friendly friendly, jumped up on the sofa to sit next to her. Then he snapped bit her face and she needed 3 stitches.
My mum and dad decided they weren't going to take the risk, they took him straight back.
We did get another dog the next day and he was the best dog ever. ❤

HuskyMcClusky · 21/12/2017 07:49

This kind of thing is what is putting me off rescue dogs. They could snap at any time. Most of those poor dogs have been through hell, but they need VERY experienced owners.

Please don’t be put off rescue dogs. A puppy you’ve brought up to adulthood could also ‘snap at any time’. All dogs are (obviously) animals, and can therefore be unpredictable.

You do not need to be a ‘VERY experienced owner’. I’m not, and in hindsight, the rescue that I got my large-breed dog from was not particularly stringent in vetting me, either. But it could not have worked out better.

HuskyMcClusky · 21/12/2017 07:52

I do think a lot of the stories of failed rescues come down to people not easing their dogs in to unfamiliar territory.

Dogs are nervous and overexcited and tense and uncertain all at once, the first days & weeks in a new home. I’m no expert but I suspect some new owners expect too much of them.

Sittinonthefloor · 21/12/2017 07:58

You have done the right thing - you can't risk your children. Please don't let other posters make you feel guilty or like you should 'give it more time', they didn't see what happened so they can't possibly judge the level of risk, and they don't know your circumstances. It sounds like the dog would be happier elsewhere. I had a friend who kept a fierce rescue despite initial reservations- it was awful and made their lives much more complicated, and the dog wasn't happy either! (I expect some people will say that there is no such thing as a fierce dog, but grisly and bitey = fierce to most people). I have dogs myself btw so not anti dogs, but I do have to try to remember that they don't have the same feelings as us - he won't 'blame' you for not keeping him, he'll just be out of a stressful situation.

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