Would you rehome a 16 year old dog?

[BonnesVacances]

A bit of background first. DD(15) is a huge animal lover and wants to work with animals when she's older. She has ME/CFS and has been ill for nearly 2 years. She's desperate for a dog, but more so now for the company at home. I also know that it'd help getting her out the house and give her a mental health boost.

But DH and I both work and are out of the house all day so it wouldn't be fair on the dog when DD is better and back at school etc. Also we don't actually feel we can make a commitment for that length of time, especially when DC will both leave home at some point and we'll still have a dog!

So onto now. A friend of mine has shared a Facebook post about a 16 year old border collie whose owner has gone into care and the dog is now in kennels. It's looking for a home to spend the rest of its life in.

I was wondering how feasible it would be to offer this poor doggie a home. He'd have a lot of love and company and if able, would take it to see its owner in the care home. DD & DS (12) would be made aware that he is very old and that imminent upset would be on the cards when he goes. In fact it was DD's idea to offer a retirement home to a dog anyway to solve the time commitment issue.

My family all have dogs so we are realistic about the daily commitment of walks and not leaving him all day etc. But maybe less so about what it's like to live with an old dog. DH is saying no as he just doesn't want a dog so I'd like to show that I've looked into it properly and addressed whatever issues might be thrown up.

Any thoughts or advice please? Thanks.

Thanks for the update - haha, he sounds like quite the character & must be so happy to be out of kennels & in a nice home!! Hope he stops barking soon - I'm sure like a puppy, once he settles in, he'll quiet down... well, either that, or you'll just have to have him in your room at night ;-) That's a good idea with the boxes - have you tried putting some kibble in an empty plastic bottle? My 2 collies find that quite a fun challenge & it takes them a while to get all the food out of one! I'll also sometimes just hide treats (or some of their dinner) around the house & get them to sniff it out, as a bit of a challenge. Border collies are sometimes a bit TOO clever but they certainly make life interesting.

I don’t see how he’ll cost a fortune in vet fees? At 16 most vets wouldn’t even sedate him let alone do any surgery.

A little update.

It's not really working out with Brandy. We literally haven't had a good night's sleep since we got him as we just cannot get him to stop barking all night. We've had a behaviourist round who has helped us with the daytime barking, but he still just barks throughout the night.

He has now started damaging the woodwork at night whilst barking by chewing table legs and scratching at the lounge door, so we've decided to admit defeat and help find him a new home.

I've just been signed off work for 28 days for stress, of which unfortunately Brandy isn't helping, alongside everything else we're dealing with re DD's illness. Also her sleep is vital for her health and she's not getting it.

We haven't told DD yet but she knows he's been on 'borrowed time'. She's going to be so disappointed but we just can't go on like this. It's making us all tired and irritable and not helping her health either.

Have you tried him in the room with you or DD at night?

I tried sleeping downstairs with him for a week and he kept waking me, so whilst that would mean less barking, it wouldn't mean more sleep. Plus he can't go upstairs anyway as he has a problem with his back legs meaning he'd fall. So he'd be trapped up there until someone got up and took him downstairs. Based on his sleep pattern, he wakes up at 3am every day. So we can't see how bringing him upstairs would help the situation.

Our dog was incredibly helpful in CFS recovery. I’d do it if you can afford it.

Poor dog.
Any rescue dog, regardless of breed or age can take a long time to settle in. The only rescue/rehome I had was difficult for six months until we really got to know each other. It would have been easy to give up in the early days. I don't think you have given this dog a fair go really. I am sorry you are suffering from stress, and your daughter is being made more ill, but perhaps you had unrealistic expectations? Dogs aren't going to be grateful and well behaved just because you have given them a comfortable home. He had a lifetime of behaving one way in one household, it will take him a long time to get used to a new one. Also, at his age, he may be suffering from some form of dementia, deafness or sight loss, all of which will make him more likely to bark in alarm or distress.
Have you tried an adaptil plug in? Also, leaving a light on for him at night?
If you had a puppy you would have exactly the same problems more than likely, and they last longer than four weeks. Can't you give him more time?

We have been working with (and paid for) a behaviourist over the barking and his behaviour through the night. We have been keeping the owner's daughter up to date and even her mum said that DD's health must come first and we should give him back. But we've not wanted to give up on him and we said we'd give it to the end of the month.

We looked into the pitfalls of rehoming an old dog and can deal with the incontinence, needing to go out in the night with him for a wee as he can't see and knowing that he won't live very long. But none of the advice or considerations said we won't sleep at all for weeks and that he will cause damage to our house through the night.

During the day he is very settled and he's not stressed or anxious. He's just a very social dog and spends the night calling for us. We have spoken to the neighbours because he barks for hours and explained that we are trying to sort it out with an expert.

We have an Adaptil plug and it hasn't made any difference. He has a streetlamp outside as a night light but the behaviourist said not to leave a light on in the house as this will keep him awake. Ditto a radio though he's practically deaf anyway so it would have to be very loud for him to hear it and to be of any comfort to him.

We won't send him back to the kennels. We will find somewhere else for him to go. But I'm not going to be crying at 2am because I can't shut the dog up and I can hear him trying to rip up the carpet, however lovely he is during the day.

What things have you tried OP at night? Have you tried making a den so he feels safe? You mention he would be trapped if he slept upstairs? When mine is in the bedroom the door is closed so its the same as in he would need me to open it to let him out? Do you have a corridor he could sleep in if it isn't your bedroom.

Mine is an early riser and to be honest it takes a while to change timings on when they wake. I let mine out for the toilet and then have taught him to settle again so we can get another hour or so to sleep.

It's not surprising that he is still struggling to settle in. It's a big move and it takes time and looking after a dog is a major upheaval to the home. Can you look at getting the behaviourist back to concentrate on the night time issues? I understand you are stressed and trust me owning a new dog or a puppy is very stressful (the puppy survival thread has some people on there with older rescues so it's not just puppies). Can you hang on longer before rehoming again as it really is early days?

Cross posts. Puppies, rescues all have the ability to destroy stuff unfortunately. I have been very lucky with mine but I have known other dogs to do it when stressed. Have you tried blackout curtains to cut the light out? Made a den? Tried upstairs even on the landing with maybe a baby gate so he can see and hear you even if you didn't want him in the bedroom?

Funnily enough, he's not an early riser. We were so thrilled when we found that out.

The behaviourist is coming round this morning to have a chat. I'll ask him about a safe den for him. Tbh he thinks that Brandy is just being a monkey and demanding attention. Maybe the recent damage shows something else.

But mainly we've just been waiting for a lull in the barking and going down to reward him, along with various reinforcement/ distraction techniques during the day. It did seem to work as he now doesn't bark when we go to bed or when we leave the room. But instead he now scratches and chews on a table leg which makes as much noise. And then eventually descends into barking in the early hours. He has toys and a kong so it's not boredom and from his observed behaviour during the day he is not anxious. But we'll see what the behaviourist says now.

He didn't sleep with his previous owner. He was in the utility room and the hallway door was closed. So these bad habits have been picked up in the kennels.

Tbf we didn't get a puppy and never would because we know what's involved. My family all have rescue dogs and none of them have had these issues. The nights are killing us. DH is a teacher and really needs this half term to recharge and he feels worse than he did at the beginning.

Sorry for the long posts. DH & I can't even talk to each other about it now as it descends into rowing as we're both so tired.

Totally get the sleep deprivation. I had it for weeks with my puppy and even now he has been ill on and off and I have been up so many times taking him outside with upset stomachs in the early hours.

So whilst he didn't sleep with his previous owners being in the kennels might have made him more anxious. My dog didn't sleep in the same room as us until he was about 1 year old so I get why people don't want dogs in bedrooms. Given that you are at the point of wanting to rehome him I would try seeing if he settles upstairs even outside your room ( honestly they seem to know you are nearby even if they can't see you) to give you some sleep.

Sorry if I've missed this, but is he shut in a room downstairs through the night? Could he have the run of the ground floor with a gate at the foot of the stairs? One of my dogs went frantic if shut in.

It's such a shame you're having this difficulty.

If it were me I would set up a bed downstairs and sleep with him or have dd do it if she can manage, as he was to be her companion. I'd get him a selection of frozen kongs and chews to settle down through the night. I think he would slowly settle down to sleep more at night if he felt secure. Also even though he is an elderly dog get him well exercised and tired out during the day.

I slept downstairs on the sofa for the first 10 days. He didn't bark but woke me every few hours to check I was there, which was hard going. I tried going back upstairs after a week but he barked at the bottom of the stairs for hours and seemed stressed. So I went back downstairs again.

So we got a behaviourist round to tell us how we should do it properly. As it made no difference to his barking whether he was in the lounge with the door closed or at the bottom of the stairs, the behaviourist said to put him in the lounge as it was quieter for us. He then has the run of the downstairs but not the hallway. That night he barked until 5.30am. So we agreed with the behaviourist that we'd leave the door open and get him used to us being upstairs first, then move him into the lounge. Then he barked until 3am but DD couldn't sleep. So now he is back in the lounge with the door closed. And now the damage.

Last night he was at the bottom of the stairs again and DD had headphones on to try to block out the noise. But he pulled the stairgate off and came halfway upstairs and then stood there halfway wondering what to do. He has fallen from the third step before as he can't control his back legs very well. Allowing him to go upstairs isn't an option. He's a big dog and I don't want me or DH to be carrying him up and down the stairs every day. It's not safe.

The behaviourist is at a bit of a loss. He thinks the dog just has FOMO and we have to stick with what we are doing. Last night he barked until 2am and kept the whole house awake. Even DS said he wanted him to go back then.

We have now borrowed a crate and have been working on trying to get him in and feeling comfortable in it as this is the only way we will control the damage. But that doesn't help us in the short term. DH and DS are back at school tomorrow and neither are particularly good for it. We're just stuck between a rock and a hard place!

This dog has had a massive upheaval. It isn't surprising it wants to know where you are. I slept by mine for the first three weeks. She was in a crate and I slept right next to it. She could see me and I could speak to her for reassurance.
Mine is a giant breed. She CAN'T be upstairs at all. It's not safe.
She's now in a pen at night and if we go out. That way she can't cause any damage at all.

I would definitely keep her more enclosed. A crate ideally. She was enclosed with her former owner and also in kennels.

Have you seen thunderjackets? Might be worth a shot x

Sorry you've been struggling with the barking!! I know how hard it is when they won't let you sleep. I wouldn't give up hope though... he has had to deal with some massive changes recently & it can take quite a few weeks for them to adjust. I moved house last year & my younger rescue collie Flynn, seemed happy & settled during the day but at least for the 1st month or 2, he was regularly having a bit of a bark at night, between 2-4am. I think it was just the new environment & he was waking up & then feeling unsettled with where he was & hearing different noises etc... That was just a house move, not a change of owner as well! However, just as I was beginning to tear my hair out in frustration, he did calm down & let everyone sleep through the night again. That's good a behaviourist has been in to see him, I hope you see some improvement soon, best of luck

Can I second loosemoose's suggestion of a Thunder-shirt or Kalm coat? They are supposed to help dog feel safe and reduce anxiety . You could put this on him before bed. We used one when our dog went through a destructive phase when left.

I would.

I think if you can give this dog the best last few years of its life then you should take it.

People will overlook this dog in the car and dog home because of its age. I feel sorry for older dogs that go into rescue. Chances are the dog will snooze a lot and only need some bathroom breaks and a short walk a day.

We’ve taken on a rescue dog with health problems, I know he won’t live until anywhere near the age of the dog you’re talking about but he will have a wonderful life, however long or short that may be, with us.

Just read the update. I’m so glad you got Brandy.

I love a rescue story.

You can buy a plug in that emits a high pitched noise for problem barking.

Chances are, he’s just settling in. He will calm down soon enough.

I recommend Zyklene for him to help ease him into his new surroundings.

I don't know what's the matter with him. Last night he barked from 2am until our alarm went off 10 minutes ago. The night before he didn't bark at all and just scratched at the door. So whatever it is that's bothering him, it's not every night. The behaviourist says he thinks the dog is confused as he's very relaxed and settled during the day.

DH has a full teaching day and 2 meetings after school. He is beside himself that he has been awake since 2am. I'm even thinking of keeping DS off school today as he's not slept either. We told ourselves that we'd give it to the end of the month and here we are and things are no better.

I've told the lady that we can't keep him. I have contacted someone else who was second in the queue for him. His wife runs a dementia care home and Brandy can keep them all company. The night time barking may be an issue for them though and we'll be honest about that, so it's not a given that he'll be going anyway.

you gave him a chance at least.
do what is best for your family op.