I expect the answer is no, but could we offer a dog a good home?

[SockEatingMonster]

DH is a dog-lover, as are the DC. I'm a bit meh about them, but since DH and the children have good naturedly suffered my pets over the years (two rescue cats, now deceased, both with complex and expensive health problems) I feel that I should at least give the idea proper consideration!

The good:

• I work from home most days
• The children are 7 and 9, and we are a fairly quiet and 'calm' household
• We have a large and completely enclosed garden (chicken-proof!).
• The DC play out in the garden in all weathers, so I expect that a dog would be well entertained
• We have no other pets (except the chickens, who enjoy free-ranging, but also have their own fenced-off area)
• We'd prefer a rescue, don't mind taking on a pet with health problems, and know we'll need to invest time and money into training, etc.

The bad:

• I am not a dog lover and have never managed to bond with a dog, and it's me that the poor creature will spend most of its time stuck with. So far, I have failed to bond with a German Shepherd (family dog growing up), Husky (exbf's dog) and Labrador (dog we dog-sit for for approx 2 x 1 week per year). I find them needy and annoying I do feel more drawn to small but calm lapdog type dogs basically canine versions of cats
• The DC are not old enough to walk it alone yet, and I could only guarantee one fairly short walk (15 mins) every morning. It would get more at weekends and on days when DH works from home. I have a feeling that this might not be enough?
• On days when I do have to work out of the home, there can be no one home for up to 10 hours. This is about one day a fortnight. I have no idea what people do with dogs when they are out, but we have no local family and I'm guessing that dog walkers require a regular 'slot'?

I don't want the poor creature to have a miserable life. I also don't want me to have a miserable life! Does it sound like we could provide a happy home to a dog, given the 'bad' above? What breeds/characteristics should we be looking for? What do people do with dogs when they go out and can't take the dog with them? Please be blunt, it's a big decision and I wouldn't want to make the wrong one.

TIA

That’s me and her having cuddles!

Its lovely to see you taking it so seriously and stating what your concerns are truthfully. I love greyhounds, never had one but they are rather cat like!

However, the dog needs a lot of attention. Your house is never 100% clean and tidy. You always have to think of the dog. I was here on my own last night, wanted to go and watch TV in bed but couldn't go up too early because the dog needed to go out. first thing in the morning 6.30 ish he needs to be let out. Its a real pain but we would not be without him.

Oh ilovepixie, she is a real cutie.

I hadn't even considered that I might not be able to go up to bed early @Hillingdon. It's like having another child, isn't it?

I think that now is the wrong time for us/me, but I also don't think I'd rule out getting one in future. DH being here more would make a huge difference. I can also imagine that in the years in between the DC leaving home/going off to uni, it would be nice to have a dog to fuss over, although I'm probably not meant to say that!!

*that should say the years between the DC leaving home/going off to uni and is retiring

arghhh! us retiring not is!

Good thread, and good on you for thinking it through.

I'm a bit dubious about the idea of greyhounds with chickens, they have very strong prey instincts!

I think there's probably a dog out there you could bond with. But tbh you'll also have to learn to love walks. 15 mins isn't nearly enough for most non-elderly dogs - they need more than that to have an interesting life, as well as for exercise. Tire the dog out and they'll mooch round the house happily after. Unwalked dogs are a pain in the butt around the house, and can become destructive or attention seeking. So having a dog means walking at least once every day, in all weather. What you do with your weekends also becomes partly about fitting in a good walk somewhere. Personally I love the daily walk(s) and miss it on days the dog isn't around, but it's not for everyone. It's a big lifestyle change compared to cats!

A greyhound works well with the time you have and your lifestyle - they sleep about 23 hours a day! You may actually be better off waiting and seeing before you commit to a dog walker as my friends paid for a month's walks in advance and the dog refused to get out of bed!

Some can be very bad with small furry/fluffy animals though so I would look for one that is chicken safe!

I'm not coming across as a very nice person, am I?

Actually, yes, you are. I wish more people put such consideration into getting a dog to ensure that they're not just going along with what everyone else wants. I can tell that if or when you get a dog, that dog will have the best care and consideration to make sure it has a happy life. You DO sound nice.

Please don't get a terrier with free range chickens.

You could just get a maine coon in the meantime - they can be walked like a dog.

Ah, you're a nice lot on this board!

The chickens don't have to free range and I probably won't replace current flock of rather ancient girls if I think we're likely to get a dog.

A maine coon would be lovely. Do you think DH would notice?

I'm a cat person and love my dog but not all dogs ( love to pat them but not to own.) My whippet is very cat like. Hardly barks, no doggy smell and curls up next to me. He also avoids water and mud! The chickens might be an issue though. Whippet puppies are mental but there are older rescues around.

A Maine Coon or similar dog like cat is actually a pretty awesome idea

I have always been a cat person and grew up with cats, never disliked dogs but as you was a bit meh about them and never bonded with any family or friends dogs. It was totally different when we got our own though, I often say that he's like a cat as he is so affectionate and leans into you and like to sit on you

Love him to bits now and very happy that the family persuaded me although it's my husband who works from home here

Our dog was my first dog (DH has had them all his life) and it took me AGES to bond with her as I never really liked dogs. I thought they were all smelly and jumped up and just wasn't keen. It took me a while but nowI ADORE her and she sleeps on the bed with me when DH isn't around and I can't imagine being without her. It sort of flicked a dog switch in me as I'm much more dog focussed now and we had a foster dog earlier this year who I also adored even though he was a needy pain in the arse (turned out he was dying of cancer... ) and now we're looking for a rescue. People can change, I didn't realise how much I would. Could you try fostering a rescue for a bit first? Although rescue fostering + young kids is not a convenient mix. Worth looking though?

Hello OP! I'm a cat person but got over ruled by DH and the two dc (dog people...) We ended up getting a miniature schnauzer puppy (dc2 was 2 at the time and rescues wouldn't even look at us). The dog is nearly one now and while I am still not a dog person (I really have to fake it when talking to people I meet on dog walks) I'm not sure I'd be without her. She is cat sized and comes and sits on my lap when I'm working. She gets three short walks a day, a daily one includes dc2 and the weekend morning ones include both dc. Is there a reason you couldn't walk the dog with the dc? I thought it would be a real pain doing it but it's actually ok.

Although while I would totally recommend the breed I would say if you are not a dog person in NO WAY get a puppy. Dh and I were on the brink of divorce! Older rescue would have been way preferable if we'd been allowed.

I am another non dog person convert. i thought that they jump up, are smelly and licky and generally awful.

We got our rescue a year ago and we had a week of OH SHIT, WTF wondering if it was a horrible mistake, but we settled into it. She's a lovely dog and well behaved but I wasn't totally bonded to her, despite being home with her all day. After a few weeks I booked her in for her first groom and I felt a bit sad when I dropped her off, worried how she would get on. When I picked her up she was SO happy to me, my heart just burst and I fell totally in love.

She is now MY dog. She luffs me the most, although DD thinks she is hers.

Don't do it.

15 min walk per day is nowhere near enough, irrespective of how much you can do at the weekends.

No way you can leave a dog up to 10 hrs either.

Now obviously a dog walker could fill the gap for you but you may resent the cost and even factoring that in, it sounds like the dog will spend a lot of time either on its own or with someone who doesn't like it!

I think you'd need a dogwalker too. I found better recommendations for dogwalkers from the local vets than through adverts. Some dogs prefer to be walked one-to-one than in a group, so you might need to find a dogwalker that does that.
If you borrow a greyhound to trial, make sure it won't chase your chickens.
The fact that you found a dog you looked after cuddly is hopeful!

I don't think you should get one

Dogs are hard work and demanding even for the biggest dog lovers out there. For someone who isn't really a dog lover, they'll seem even more hard work.

It would also be cruel to limit ANY normal healthy dog to just 15 minutes exercise a day. That is not fair.

It would also be unfair to leave any dog for such a long period of time regardless of age, breed etc. Even if you had dog walkers come in it's still not on to leave a dog for so long. Dogs like company. If you're gunna leave them on their own for so long that isn't just a one off, don't get one at all.

why don't you just get a cat?

I have had dogs in my life for 39yrs they are demanding and a fulltime commitment, I love my dogs to bits and couldnt see my life without them in it.

If you say you have never bonded with a dog then dont get one, not all people like the same things, get a cat or two :)

My son was never aloud to walk the dogs on his own, it wasnt that i didnt trust him or the dogs but other people, with out of control dogs. You never know what could happen, stolen or attacked by another dog and your child getting in the way, just not worth taking that risk.

Good luck whatever you decide

You sound really lovely actually, so stop putting yourself down! 🌷

I could argue either way - helpful huh! 😂

So, just some random thoughts...

Your kids are at a good age now to get a family dog. If you leave it 'a few years' they'll be getting to an age where they have more evening activities, be getting to the age of going out with their friends more & generally not just 'hanging around' at home after school. A dog is a commitment for such a longtime. Once the kids are at uni/starting work age it's nice to have the freedom to reassess your life and maybe do things that weren't practical when you have children. Having a dog can be very 'tying' and you might not want that for quite a few more years.

What do your kids normally do after school? I presume they come home to you? Can't you not block out 30/45 mins to take the kids & the dog outside for a walk? I know all about working from home, but sometimes you just have to stop working and prioritise other things. It's too easy to let it take over.

If DH really wants a dog, why can't he get up 30/45/60 mins earlier & take the dog out for a run?

Puppy's are adorable but it's like having twins for quite a few weeks/months. DH would definitely need to share 'nights' and do a lot of other stuff so you could make up for not getting much done in the day. I think you would be better off getting a slightly older, but still young, dog.

Definitely spend time finding a breed/dog you love. Even us dog lovers have favourites (cocker spaniels/cocapoo's) and lesser favourites, no names mentioned greyhounds. You'll find one at the rescue who melts your heart. However, there's a balance here because you need to know what your DH would like. There's no point in coming home with a Chihuahua if he wants a Doberman. Not sure if the kids would mind what it was?

Mess - DH will need to step up with this as well. Dogs make a mess. Hair, muddy Paws, wet noses. Beautiful mess monsters. It's one thing that puts me off getting another one. It's so nice not having additional dog mess to deal with.

Move near me & Aunty Annie will dig sit, dog walk & offer a holiday home! 😊 Although I can't have a dog right now, I'd love a small share in one.