I've made a massive mistake

[guestofclanmackenzie]

I'm in a sticky situation and I don't know what to do...

Basically my parents have a toy dog who they have had since a pup and the dog is now is 5 years old. This dog has been completely doted on and spoilt by my parents to the point the dogs diva behaviour has been a bit of a joke with the rest of the family.

Recently my Mum (who has historically had allergy issues) has been suffering with her health and, cutting a long story short, has been told by a specialist after numerous tests that the dog has to be rehomed otherwise she will end up hospitalised.

My parents were totally devastated.

So they tentatively lined up another family out of the area who apparently love this particular breed and a date was set for the handover of their dog.

I am a dog lover and in our family we have a large breed dog who we dote on. We have trained our dog well and our dog is the apple of our eye in every way. I am so attached to our own dog, I see him as my baby. We go for long muddy dog walks and he does lots of tricks which is typical for his breed. I look at him and my heart melts.

Last week, we were with my parents and when they mentioned the day of the handover for their dog, my mum broke down in tears. Hating seeing my parents so upset, and knowing how much they have supported me in the past with various things, in a total moment of madness, I offered to take their dog in.I stressed to them that I am not particularly a lover of toy dogs, my bond is with the breed of my own dog, but I would be taking her in purely to help them. They live relatively locally so they can see her whenever they want and that their dog will be kept in the family.

They were over the moon and overjoyed. They couldn't thank me enough. My dad said he would pay all the vet bills for her but also commented that if it doesn't work out, we shouldn't feel bad about rehoming her. I woke up the next morning thinking WTF have I done? I have never bonded with their dog. I don't think she is cute at all (please dont flame me for this) and I hate her "diva" behaviour. (Mainly surrounding what she will or will not eat and where she sleeps)

On the day of the handover they came over with a bootful of paraphernalia for her. I was shocked to feel nothing but irritation that my kitchen has been filled with stuff and crap for her. They casually asked me whose bed she would be sleeping on and looked shocked when I said that she will sleep in the kitchen in her own bed as does my own dog.

They then made a show of introducing her to us "this is your new mummy and daddy" Remembering what my dad had said about rehoming her, I made a lighthearted comment about "Let's see how this goes shall we?" My dad asked me what I meant and I said that we will have to see how my own dog takes to her as he is 8 years old and never had to live with another dog. Immediately they commented "oh they will be fine together don't worry" yes well we will see. (So far as it happens my own dog has been fine. He just ignores her!)

Please don't misinterpret this post to suggest I would ever neglect or abuse her as I am not like that but I look at her and feel nothing for her. I look at her and see the really bad tear stains on her white coat and she has breath that would strip paint so I don't like to pick her up too much.

I just so regret stepping forward and now don't know what to do for the best. Sorry for the essay btw.

I'm going to go against the grain here.

You knew you didn't want this dog and to allow yourself to be pushed into a taking her by your DM's tears was unfair to you and the dog, especially given that she had a family willing to take her in who really wanted her.

If you really don't want her, and it sounds like your DH certainly doesn't, is there any possibility that the family who were going to have her would still be willing? If so, I think you need to be honest with your parents and let the dog go to someone who will welcome her.

You say your parents will still be able to see her if you take her, but would your DM really be able to see her if she's so badly allergic to her?

And as far as taking her to repay your parents for the things they done for you? Most parents don't give their children love and care with a view that one day it'll be pay back time. What an odd attitude.

I just hope things work out. I think you seem to have acted in kindness . It makes it easier for your parents you having her.
We have a bishon x puppy . Tends not to like bad weather and short bursts walkwise are what she manages.
I think your dog may take time and get used to the new home and enjoy it. Mine wears a coat in the rain and a warmer one in the colder weather.
Finding the right groomer can be a nightmare. Ours was shorn once, to the point we did not recognise her on picking her up.
Someday soon she will perhaps do something that makes you smile .

Thanks for the replies.

I've had a heart to heart with my parents and told them how I feel. They were fine. Appreciated that I had opened up to them instead of lying and "faking it"

We have all decided to do what's best for their dog and carefully find her a forever home to replicate what's she's been used to all her life..and a family who don't already have another dog as she is happier being the centre of attention.

Glad you've managed to find a solution. I agree not to tar all toy breeds with the same brush - I have two chihuahuas. One will actually roll in the mud and tries to bite the rain (he's a simple guy) and the other will stare out the door looking at the rain when its time to go for a wee as if to say 'are you kidding me?'.

They do have their own little personalities.

That's a good result, OP.

It's sounds as if you wanted to do a kind thing but sometimes it just doesn't feel right.

Glad you were able to sort it out and your parents understood.

I bet you're breathing a big sigh of relief now.

I think you've been really unfair to the dog and your mum. You should have stayed out of it, promising to rehome he dog and changing your mind is much more stressful for the poor dog who will now change two homes and your mum.

I can't see what the dog did wrong either. It's a picky eater? Many dogs, regardless of breed, are picky eaters. It sleeps on the bed? Well that is where your parents asked it to sleep. My GSDs sleep on my bed, nothing to do with breed, it has to do with the preferences of the owner. You could have, gently and patiently, changed its habits. The mud story is just ridiculous. Mud feels different to other surfaces, an animal that hasn't felt it before is likely to hesitate. I once had a young horse who had only been ridden on arenas and beaches, so, understandably, took a bit of time to get used to the moving and sucking nature of mud.

Have to agree with @Booboostwo in the end you didn't even give the dog a chance, you shouldn't have taken it.

OP, absolutely start from day one, new rules. This dog will transform in weeks. Dont allow it to become alpha. Defo sleep in kitchen. Throw out any rubbish wet food they may have brought with them when dropping off, and get dry small dog food. Your dog is number 1, little man is number 2. Always always always. Place food down in that order. Id guess hell have about 90seconds to eat his meal before its stolen by A1. Let this happen. Even if hes turned his nose up at the dry food in the first place. Within 24hrs, he will work out the only way to eat, is eat whats offered, when its offered. If your large dog is a one meal a day dog, little one will need to have 2. But that should be the on,y difference.

2 small meals a day of reasonably decent small dog dry food, is absolutely all an adult dog needs.

Then the rest, he will simply need to fit in. Yep, it gets wet on winter walks! He will love it. Just watch for aggresion toward strange dogs though. Igf hes nit been regularly socialised, this may be an issue longer term, thats a real arse to resolve. But good luck. Tell him hes a st bernard now! 😀

That's a great result for you

I'm sorry for the dog though as I think you would have been a great person to teach her

Sorry OP, just read your update. Im sorry youre finding a 'centre of attention' home for him, this is exactly why small dogs end up in rescue with shocking behavioural issues.

Youre offering him an opportunity to join a 'pack' which is absolutely the best for any dog. You cant get much better than living with another dog, except maybe living with another 4! Size is irrelevant.

Id urge you to give the whole new regime and try for 3 months, you will know by then if he has indeed picked up awful territorial and anti social behaviours. If he has, then yes rehome, openly telling of issue. If not, you and your bigger dog, will adore him.

Ah OP I know how you feel. I have always liked proper dogs. Big dogs. Who are trainable and do cool tricks and would be a deterrent to someone breaking in.

I ended up the proud owner of a shi tzu when I was in my early 20s. He was ace. When allowed to be a dog and not a fashion statement. He was loyal and fierce and loved me to the moon and back. The fluff was annoying so he had a monthly hair do. The snotted on window downstairs where he sat in the window sill was annoying but I just bought lots of window cleaner. Just give her a chance.

Current dog is a whippet. She is very, very cool and funny and loyal and does cool tricks. Last week my ndn asked me to let a little dog out for a wee they were looking after. It was a lhaso apso or whatever they are called. Was happy to help ndn out but a bit underwhelmed by the type of dog.

He is fabulous. Friendly and fussy and happy to have some company and very well behaved.

Just give her a chance before you decide. She will be missing your parents and her home and be a bit bewildered by it all.