Am I massively in the wrong here?

[LadyGagarden]

Ok, so put in an application for one dog to a rescue place which re homes dogs from abroad. Made it clear I've never had dogs before, got 2 kids one with SEN etc. Lady from rescue place said I couldn't have the dog because I work 2 days a week 9-3 but would I like 2 dogs? I said I didn't see why not and she sent me details of 2 puppies. She said they are coming to this country in 3 and a half weeks and she had a foster place for 1 lined up but not the other so she seemed glad I'd take both. Anyway, I said they looked lovely and she said she would arrange a home check and once that was done she would hold them for me.

I then had loads of conversations with my dog owning friends and every single one of them said 2 pups were a bad idea. It stressed me out and I did some reading online and every article I found said the same. I had no idea about needing to walk and train them individually and that it would be more than double the work of one etc. Anyway, home check hadn't been booked in at this point so I emailed the rescue and said on reflection, following my conversations with dog owners and online research I wasn't willing to have 2 but would be happy to have 1 of them and arrange a dog sitter on my work days. Got a very arsey response from the rescue lady saying I had left them in the lurch etc. Turns out they have given the foster place away to another dog. She wouldn't let me have just 1.She basically said the people I've spoken to were wrong about 2 puppies being a bad idea. But as far as I was concerned, the dogs were still being advertised at this stage, hadn't had a home check etc so they weren't 'mine' and surely I was doing the right thing if I was having massive doubts? I couldn't live with myself if I brought 2 pups home after all those warnings and it turned out to be a nightmare and I have to rehome or something.

They're not in the country for another 3 weeks so wasn't like I had changed my mind the night before. I feel awful now, she's clearly pissed off in her emails. Have I acted badly?

RUN AWAY NOW.

This is not a reputable rescue. Please please go to a UK one. You've had a lucky escape.

I don't get the need to have a dog brought in to the uk to rescue? Our rescues are crying out for homes for dogs that are here now!

You're right. 1 on 1 attention for training and attachment is a strict recommendation by dog experts if you don't want anxious , unruly behaviour , competition and aggression and the place you're getting themfrom are in the wrong for not knowing that
However , you've said yes and then changed your mind. So from her point of view you've caused a potentially massive problem.
Youre more in the right than her , but also should have researched beforehand.

Two pups from the same litter are always a challenge. Certainly not suitable for a novice with a SEN child in the mix!

Sadly some 'rescues' are more like vanity projects.

The rescue I work with wouldn't dream about talking about any placement until after the homecheck stage.

@Miragleve I looked at the uk based ones first but choice seemed limited as we have a cat and the kids are primary aged. Plus I think my 2 days at work is a problem for lots of them. And there seemed to be lots of what I think of as aggressive breeds which wouldn't work for our family.
@Auntmatilda I think that's what's bothering me but I didn't research initially because I hadn't intended to get 2 but had researched looking after 1 quite thoroughly. She kind of took me by surprise with the 2 pups and I assumed she was the expert not me and wouldn't have suggested it if it wasn't the best thing for the dogs IYSWIM. Plus never occurred to me she would cancel the foster place if she wasn't holding them for ma and I hadn't even had a home check!

I agree the rescue doesn't sound remotely reputable. Two puppies at the same time, even if they're not from the same litter or exactly the same age, is a terrible idea. Aside from being far more than double the work for the people involved in caring for them it's not at all in the best interests of the puppies to have them growing up together.

Which rescues have you looked at Lady? And are there any particular breeds/types you're looking for? There are lots of rescues who are more flexible with their rehoming criteria than the big name ones. There are also lots of breed/type specific rescues which are, again, more likely to work on a case by case basis. Lots of smaller, independent rescues are also foster home based rather than using kennels which means they have a much better idea of how their dogs behave in a home (and often family) environment.

If you do want to go down the route of adopting a dog from overseas I'd highly recommend reading these three articles: All You Need to Know About Romanian Rescue Dogs, A Step by Step Guide to Adopting a Romanian Rescue Dog and Getting it Right for Your New Romanian Rescue Dog. Although they're specifically about dogs from Romania all the information is just as relevant regardless of what country the dog is coming from.

Just as with breeders it pays to check up on rescues to make sure they are reputable. Although many are absolutely great there are some run by people who don't really know what they're doing or don't provide adequate back up once a dog is adopted.

Thanks for this Cornflake. I have heard the rescue in questioned mentioned before in a positive way and the dog I wanted initially is already over here being fostered in a family environment not too far from here which is why I chose him as he sounded and looked perfect plus I could meet him before saying yes whereas the 2 pups, the lady wouldn't let us meet them first before committing, we would literally get them the day they arrived.

Have looked at rspca, blue cross etc and a few independent ones near here. We are Midlands based. Need a dog with a nice temperament who can cope with kids and cat so I was thinking a lab or terrier cross maybe. Will keep looking, there's no rush. I'm expecting to be made redundant soon so I'll be home full time which might widen my options.

Thanks everyone for your comments. I'm very glad I didn't take the 2 puppies, sounds like it wouldn't have been fair on anyone.

This is dreadful. No decent rescue would offer two puppies, nor would they try to force you into taking them. This is the kind of scenario where reputable rescues end up picking up the pieces.

Keep looking OP, there will be a rescue dog out there for you.

I don't get the need to have a dog brought in to the uk to rescue? Our rescues are crying out for homes for dogs that are here now

I really despair of this attitude, often said by people who rescue from neither here nor abroad.

Rescues from abroad can be more flexible with children, they are treated very badly abroad and have much lower chance of rescue.

It doesn't matter where they are from.

I agree, rescue does not sound responsible in this instant.

Don't be put off though, many are and there is fukl rescue back up.

I think it sounds worrying that rescues homing dogs from abroad can be more flexible about children. Unless they know the dogs are child friendly it sounds possibly dangerous.

RaininSummer on the contrary, I think that some rescues are too strict with rejoining criteria which means that dogs are left longer or put down.

Dogs are all asessed and/or fostered prior to rehoming.

It's not the fact that this was an overseas rescue that is the problem, but the way they operate. I have seen a rescue local to me advertise littermates who "absolutely must be homed together" - it's nuts.

You're more in the right than her , but also should have researched beforehand.

Why? She wanted one dog and did the research. If you are told by a rescue, who supposedly are the experts at rehoming and dog suitability, that 2 puppies would be better, why would you question it? The o/p was put on the spot, but did go away and do her research.

It is completely the rescue in the wrong. Anyone should know a novice dog owner, asd child, 2 days a week working, and two completely unknown puppies is not a good idea.

I have a friend who wanted to rescue a cat. One. Single. For many reasons, all in the cats best interests. A certain well known uk rescue insisted they only rehomed in pairs, and she couldn't have just one. They turned up on the day she was supposed to adopt her chosen one cat with two saying they couldn't possibly be separated.

I found rehoming a dog an absolute nightmare.

Bubble2bubble, correct, its basic stuff isn't it and not fair on the op.

No way would I ever take on two puppies together. I've seen dogswith littermate syndrome as adults who have had to be separated in order to function as they are so messed up.

This rescue sounds like a disgrace.

Honestly I would go to a UK rescue where you can meet the dog before you commit,there are too many variables to finding the right family dog not to view it a few times before deciding. You should ideally be offered a trial too.

Lots of dogs from abroad (and also the Uk in some cases) come with issues due to the way they have been treated or raised, remember the first few months are the most important socialisation wise. I'm not sure I would risk this with any child without being able to see and test the dog out before taking him or her anywhere near my child. How can they possibly do this from an email?

Greyhorses, yes, to be fair to the rescue, the puppies have been in a foster home abroad since birth so they know how they have been treated and raised. The mother dog and one other littermate is still with them and the foster home has a pack of other dogs. I did have a few emails with the foster lady who was great and helpful, knows their temperament etc. But yes, I did want to meet them first and that's why I chose the first dog as he was already over here and living with kids. I have seen the rescue mentioned in previous doghouse threads so I was reasonably happy with dealing with them.

If you are on facebook follow your local branch of RSPCA rather than looking on the main website. We got lucky when our pup was posted on the facebook site before he went on the main website so I saw it within minutes of being posted and could get the application form straight to the local branch manager straight away.

I agree you have totally done the right thing OP. I had a client get a dog from an overseas rescue, supposed to be neutered.....on exam, she was very pregnant! Produced 6 puppies on new years day, and the rescue didn't want to know.

I am worried too that a lot of these dogs are ex street dogs, so they aren't easy family dogs, and some rescues don't seem to really have a lot of care who they are giving them to. Hours travelling on a boat to a totally different set of circumstances, these poor dogs are scared, bewildered, and not for novice dog owners. Add to that some of the unusual diseases they can bring (leishmaniasis has been reported, and one was recently pts with brucellosis) and I really feel that the trend for importing rescue dogs is dangerous. There are lots of haopy, healthy but unfortunate dogs looking for homes in this country, you will find the dog for you!

There is increasing concern from the vet profession that many of these overseas rescue charities are fronting overseas puppy farms. Even legitimate well run charities may be unwittingly supporting this trade. Worth a good google!

I was about to say about doing your research beforehand, but then i saw you made a non committed verbal 'agreement' on the phone long before you were due to adopt, and then did your research after.

I would now not adopt from this rescue at all, do a ton of research on both training and reputable rescues and go from there.

If people want two dogs they generally have them like kids - have one and when they are at a manageable age go for a second 😊

@Valuedopinion i agree - the rescues here are generally safe and well looked after. The dogs coming from abroad are high risk (about to be put to sleep or are currently being abused) and have no other options if they dont find a home outside of their current country.

I understand this puts a lot of pressure on our rescues, but i also get why someone would make a choice to take in a dog from abroad instead.

I have a rescue from Turkey, didn't go looking for one, just see her on the web and fell in love, she is a great dog. The rescue lady was very Good, had a home check and even took my other two dogs to the foster home, to met her. I asked her why she concentrates on dogs from abroad when so many here.
She said here dogs have some sort of life, not left to fend for themselves on the street, apparently some use them for sport to try to run them over and leave to die in agony.
I'm very happy with my dog.

I would be very wary of an overseas dog as an inexperienced dog owner. We had a failed placement with an overseas dog who should never have been placed with us. We just weren't suited for her.

We were after similar things to you and I should have waited on the right dog to appear from one of those stricter rescue places. It would have saved us and the poor dog a lot of heartache.

Thankfully the dog is doing much better now in a more suited home. But I would never get a dog who has not been fostered in the UK in a similar set up to my family again. The outcome of it all going wrong are too hard to deal with.