Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

I need to rehome my dog, I know I'm a bad person.

55 replies

reohomingdogadvice · 30/08/2017 22:36

It's breaking my heart. I adore him. He's 10 and has been my best friend since I held him in my arms at the breeder as a tiny pup. I am single, limited family and few friends. I've begged but nobody can take him long-term, atlhough people have been amazing and helped short-term. I never expected to become disabled with a degenerative condition. Who does? I am struggling to care for myself, let alone him. It's going to get worse and I need to get him sorted now.

How do I find him a loving home? I've lost contact with his breeder who I recall telling me that she'd always take her puppies back. I want him to go to someone who will love him like I do.

OP posts:

zeebeedee · 30/08/2017 22:40

Have you tried the Cinnamon Trust? They are a charity who help ill/older people with their pets, both at home (dog walkers etc) and providing respite and rehoming.

Mulch · 30/08/2017 22:41

I'm so sorry your having to make such a tough choice. Please be kind to yourself, your doing it to give them a good and happy life even if it isn't with yourself. I'd try breed specific shelters rather than the larger organisations first

Original poster

reohomingdogadvice · 30/08/2017 22:42

I contacted them for respite when I was in Hospital but they weren't able to help, sadly. I was hoping they'd offer to support me to keep him but I know they're a charity and don't have the resources. Gutting. :(

OP posts:

graceyg · 30/08/2017 22:42

Firstly don't be upset , this could be the right thing to do but you should speak to likely the Dogs Trust and maybe your local animal welfare charity .

What breed is your dog? There are many breed specific rescue pages on facebook and also online with dedicated rescuers for most breeds . I am happy to help you get in touch with them if you want to message me xxx

Huge dog lover and would love to help in anyway I can.

SandyBeachandtheDeckchairs · 30/08/2017 22:43

Why don't you start this thread in 'the doghouse' section, you'll get some good advice there. If you know his kennel name you might be able to find his breeder that way...
Sorry you're going through this OP.

Josiah · 30/08/2017 22:43

Could you cope with him living with you but being walked by someone else? A dog flap fitted so he can take himself to the toilet?

Original poster

reohomingdogadvice · 30/08/2017 22:48

You've been kind to me and I don't deserve it. I feel guilty because I swore I'd never do this. At the moment, it's fine having him because he sits with me and we cuddle. He's walked daily or goes to doggy day care. It's expensive but manageable, although not long-term manageable. I'm not sure what I'll do when I can't get myself out of bed or the chair. He won't understand and will be upset that I can't get him dinner or throw his ball. :(

I don't know why I didn't think to post on the doghouse. Good idea, thanks.

OP posts:

endehors · 30/08/2017 22:56

I'm so sorry, OP. It's not your fault though, not at all.

Was just about to suggest doghouse. Good luck.

wheretoyougonow · 30/08/2017 22:57

Have you got someone in rl life you can talk this through with? I'm sorry you are in this position.

If you were unable to to get out of a chair etc would you be having someone like a carer to assist you? If so, they would help feed your dog etc.

Maybe just pay for someone to pop in to walk him instead a whole day at doggy day care. Lots of youngsters advertise near me. If not maybe an advert for a volunteer? Our local neighbourhood scheme would set you up with someone if needed.
Sorry if this doesn't fit your situation. Just trying to suggest ideas to try and keep you both together

Josiah · 30/08/2017 23:02

If you get to the stage where you are immobile in your home, won't their be carers calling in who can put food and water down for dog and let him out to the toilet. You could get a dog walker for free from another dog owner of dog lover nearby.

Alanna1 · 30/08/2017 23:02

Could you start by trying some adverts in your local vet?

perper · 30/08/2017 23:05

Have you considered 'borrow my doggy', which could be a free source of dog walking?

I understand you're in an awful position- all I can say is that my friend has a severely progressing physical condition and I know she would not cope without her dog. He provides her with emotional comfort that she cannot replace, and she's even taught him to help out with basic tasks- picking things up from the floor, opening and closing doors, pulling laundry into the basket etc. He's old too! He understands her more than anyone, and knows when she's in pain etc.

There are options available for support, and I know there are charities that may be able to help- will see if I can find any later. Something to consider if you feel that you're being forced to make a decision you don't want to make.

Original poster

reohomingdogadvice · 30/08/2017 23:07

I know it's not my fault really but it feels like it. I feel like I've failed him.

I've talked this through with a couple of people. Their views differ. One friend is concerned that I'm spending all my money on the dog and she's worried I'm going to make myself ill by trying to do too much for him. My cousin thinks doggy will learn that his life is different and he's older now, so now why panic? He's not a pup who needs constant stimulation, she thinks the dog will adapt. I don't know.

I'll need care eventually. I probably need some care now to be honest. I will phone social services but my head is swimming with stuff. I've got equipment etc but turned down the actual carers. I need a review, I think. That's slightly seperate, although if I had a carer visit, I guess they could let the dog outside. Would that even work? More to consider...

I'm planning ahead a bit. I'm just about coping with him now but I will get worse in terms of physical ability.

In a perfect world, he'd be rehome to a loving person or family near me and I could visit him. He loves people and children. He's the best pet and anyone would be lucky to have him.

OP posts:

feathermucker · 30/08/2017 23:10

In afraid I have no specific advice; I just wanted to say please don't feel bad.....i know that's easier said than done and this is heartbreaking for you, but it can't be helped

perper · 30/08/2017 23:22

Cat flaps work well for dogs- I've known people to install enormous ones but there are then issues with humans being able to get through... but as long as he's not a huge dog it should be manageable, which will save you having to worry about letting him out

I'm not sure if it's my place to say, but I think you should take a bit of a breather and look into what support you need and/or want. Don't panic thinking that you can't give the dog a good life, as I suspect that's not the case. He'll be very attached to you- you are the most important thing in his life, and most dogs will learn to adapt (within reason of course!). Carers will feed and let him out etc if/when it gets to that stage. In the meantime, cat flaps can sort that, and there are automatic feeding bowls that may be an option (or ask whoever walks him to help refresh his water or whatever).

Disability is often a lot more manageable with pets, though it can seem like it should be the opposite way round

Floralnomad · 30/08/2017 23:30

Please don't let the dog go , he is your friend and you are his and he will adapt to whatever life brings for you , but do it together friends are hard to come by . Whereabouts are you , perhaps some local mumsnetters could help out with walking / visits etc.

BlockB · 30/08/2017 23:32

Where abouts roughly do you live? lots of counties seem to have specific dog rehoming charities for the local area.

Fucky · 30/08/2017 23:35

Where are you op and which breed of dog is it?

tabulahrasa · 30/08/2017 23:43

If it helps I agree with your second friend, for most breeds, 10 is old, yes he'll still need walks... but nothing like the amount of walking of a young dog and he'll be quite happy spending most of his day cuddled up with you.

DancingLedge · 30/08/2017 23:49

It'd be different if dog was a Young's, but at 10, if getting a regular daily walk, and other opportunities to toilet outside, dog may be happy with affection but low input from you.
Don't discount people in the neighborhood who may be happy to offer regular help. Neighbour had her dog walker every day by volunteers, when she was unable to. If you're not on local Facebook groups, find someone who is. Also try local trainers, dog clubs, and notices in vets surgery. Parish magazine, etc. Many might be willing to walk yours with theirs.
Best of luck.

safariboot · 31/08/2017 00:08

"I know I'm a bad person"

No you are not.

RaininSummer · 31/08/2017 00:29

You are not a bad person and it is obvious you love your dog very much. I hope you can find a way to keep him with you.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 31/08/2017 00:29

Oh love, you're not 'bad' you've become disabled wth a degenerative condition - you couldn't have foreseen that, you certainly can't change it & you are on your own. That must all be very scary, I'm so sorry x

You're thinking of what's best for him 💐 He's 10 & you're best mates, he doesn't need a 'wild life' just food & good company and preferably a bit of a walk most days, let's try to keep you two together if we can.

I'm down south (in England) with a GU postcode, if I'm anywhere near you I'm happy to help. My lardy arse needs a good excuse for a walk and the 11 yo would be over the moon as she's desperate for a dog, but we can't have one, though we could possibly have him to stay if you need to go to hospital again. If you're not too far away I'd be happy to come over to feed him & let him out in days you're finding that too difficult as well. I wish we could offer him & you something more, but maybe that would be enough, at least for a while?

MNHQ

LornaMumsnet · 31/08/2017 08:37

Hi there OP,

We're just sending this over to the dog house for you.

Brenna24 · 31/08/2017 08:43

Where are you? I am up in Dundee and may be able to help.

Flip

1 2 3