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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

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Original poster

Help new puppy

29 replies

Newmelrose · 28/08/2017 00:51

We got our puppy - a 9 week old goldendoodle yesterday. She has been fab all day, all toileting outside and lovely fun with everyone, seems v happy, although a bit nippy at times but in a playful way and guess that is expected.

Last night put her in her crate at bedtime in kitchen straight to sleep, she woke at 12 so let her out for a wee, cried/barked for 20 mins, woke at 3.45 had wee, cried and barked for an hour DH slept downstairs.

Tonight I slept in the same room as the crate, went to sleep in it at 9.45 (could not keep her awake any longer) woke at 11.30, so took her out, wee'd straight away, cane back said "well done" and put her back - really didn't want to get back in, so shushed a bit a tried to lie back down in bed but that seemed to send her potty - seeing me and not being able to get out, so left the room and she has been barking ever since (tried to go back in 20 mins ago as thought she has settled but set her off again) don't know what to do! I was sure I knew what we were doing but read lots of. Inflicting advice here in past hour anc now tired and confused!! As she has been awake for over an hour should I start again, ie outside for wee and then back in crate???

Any help from fellow puppy owners greatly appreciated. I knew it would be hard but I am tired and confused!!

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Original poster

Newmelrose · 28/08/2017 00:53

Last night after she barked from 3.45 I gave in at 5 and got up with her and treated it as morning - so o stall she had v little sleep

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HidingFromDD · 28/08/2017 00:59

it's normal, give it a few days. you may want to put a worn t-shirt in there with her, she's been used to her mum being around

CornflakeHomunculus · 28/08/2017 01:00

How was she whilst you were comforting her in the crate? If she was ok then I'd nip her out for another toilet trip then pop her back in and settle her with the door open. Once she's well asleep then quietly shut the door and go grab some sleep yourself.

Another option is to not bother with the crate and just have her with you, as long as she can't get into too much mischief (i.e. chewing anything harmful or getting anywhere potentially dangerous) if she wakes up and you're still asleep. I prefer doing it this way, the puppy wakes me up shifting about when they need the toilet and I can nip them out and back inside before they've even fully woken up so they're straight back to sleep.

Either way, it's not something you will need to keep up forever and is vastly preferable to her barking/crying and learning to associate being in the crate with being in distress.

MummySparkle · 28/08/2017 01:04

The nipping / chewing is all very normal - it's how the puppies would interact with each other. A good way to tell a dog no is to nip its back / rump with your hand - it's a language they understand.

We lasted half a night with our DDog in the crate before he came to sleep in our bed. I was adamant that he wouldn't be allowed upstairs, but it appeared that i was a massive softie. He now goes to sleep in his own bed, but every morning I wake up with him on my feet

Original poster

Newmelrose · 28/08/2017 01:08

I have just done that and she is still barking, up. I couldn't soothe her with the door open, as she just wanted to get out and trying to soothe her through the crate just wasn't working and was getting her life excited. Which is why I walked away as felt I was doing more harm than good. I really don't want her out the crate as long term I wave her to sleep downstairs.

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Original poster

Newmelrose · 28/08/2017 01:15

Sorry too tired to type properly! Do I just go back to my bed and leave her??

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CornflakeHomunculus · 28/08/2017 01:15

I really don't want her out the crate as long term I wave her to sleep downstairs.

There's no reason you can't train her to sleep happily downstairs in her crate once she's a bit more settled and into a decent routine.

Crate training needs to be done very gradually, if she's not happy in there it's really not fair to leave her barking or crying. You want all her associations with the crate to be positive hence why if you can't get her to settle in there quite yet it's preferable to have her out of it for now until you've got her appropriately trained to be comfortable in there at night.

Original poster

Newmelrose · 28/08/2017 01:17

Thanks mummysparkle I still want to use the crate - lovely as she is I cannot stand the idea of her sleeping in my bed! I am just worried that I am traumatising her - but then I have read lots of people say just leave her to cry Agggh!

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Original poster

Newmelrose · 28/08/2017 01:20

Cornflake if I take her out I am worried that she won't settle at all, but feel I am doing it all wrong! I have not had a dog before and I am not happy with the idea of sleeping in the same bed as her. HidingfromDD did you leave your puppy to bark??

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StaplesCorner · 28/08/2017 01:22

I think it falls into two camps, those who said they wouldn't take the dog to their bedroom, and then do anyway (me) and those who stick it out.

If you want to be the latter, you need a lovely soft bed with lots of blankets and a big cuddly bear or dog toy inside, with the blanket you got from the breeder. We set our alarm for every 3 hours the first few nights, then took the dog out in the garden for a wee, saying "go wee wee" or whatever phrase you want, when it goes you praise it as long as the phrases are consistent. Then back in the crate and you have to ignore it, and that's the difficult part because its a very fine line between making the dog so upset it will never settle, and not showing it that you will turn up every time it makes a noise.

That is a baby you have there, literally, its not realistic to have it left alone after 24 hours. Personally I would either sleep downstairs with it or take the crate into your room. It can't hold its bladder overnight in any case so you have to be getting up regularly with it. Did you do any research or get advice prior to getting the puppy? You seem surprised it needs so much attention!

StaplesCorner · 28/08/2017 01:24

When you say leave it to cry, what you are hoping for is that the puppy cries for a few minutes and you ignore that then it settles. If it doesn't you have to go to it, that's why training like this is a hiding to nothing. Take the crate to your room and then in a few weeks you can transition to the dog sleeping downstairs.

CornflakeHomunculus · 28/08/2017 01:26

Plenty of people do leave their puppies to bark and cry. Some get away with it and some don't.

DH and I were in the latter category with DDog2. Back when we got her all the advice was not to go to puppies if they cried in the crate at night as it'll just teach them to do it more. We lasted a week before bringing her into bed with us in desperation, she immediately conked out and has literally slept right through every single night since (she's an old lady now). Unfortunately in that week she had learned the crate was a horrible, scary place and it took two years of desensitisation and counter conditioning to get her happy in one again.

Original poster

Newmelrose · 28/08/2017 01:33

I have been lying in the room with her and she is even more upset when I am there! I really did prepare, have read lots of books, talked to lots of people - all who said to put her in the crate and leave her. Breeder recommended not going to her in the night, but decided I would get up and take her for a wee etc but I just can't get her to settle.

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MsGameandWatching · 28/08/2017 01:34

I've brought up three dogs from puppies. I had all three in my room in a basket next to the bed. I know it's not for everyone but they weren't distressed and we all got plenty of sleep. As adults they slept/sleep wherever they wanted; nearly always in the hall equidistant from all of our bedrooms.

BiteyShark · 28/08/2017 05:38

There is a lot of conflicting advice because not all puppies and households are the same and personally I think one model does not fit all. You need to find the technique that works for you.

At night in the very early days I was up and down like a yoyo taking him outside then back in crate and repeat until he got the message that nighttime was for sleeping except if he needed the toilet. Just as I said all puppies are different, you will get some people whose puppies sleep all night but mine still needed frequent toilet breaks even when bigger so even when he worked out night was for sleeping I had to set an alarm to take him out at set intervals for the toilet as he could not hold it that long.

I did do cry it out in the day but again as you can see from this thread not everyone will agree with that. My view is try whatever you are comfortable with but if it isn't working then think about trying another technique.

Veterinari · 28/08/2017 06:26

Crates should be a safe place a pup chooses to be - not a cage where they are isolated and distressed

Training only happens if the pup is learning and learning cannot take place when an animal is stressed as cortisol (stress hormone) inhibits learning.

Your pup is a 9 week old baby that has been removed from her mum and siblings and uprooted to a new home - it's a massive change and she needs comfort and reassurance.

Her sleeping choices now won't dictate her sleeping choices forever - you can transition her when she's more confident and settled. Separation training (during the day as well as the night) is necessary to ensure that she can cope alone, but right now she needs reassurance to build her confidence and prevent anxiety.

Greyhorses · 28/08/2017 06:27

Our puppy is 11weeks and sleeps in the corner of our room, not a squeak out of her at night for weeks.

We tried the crate downstairs but she was really distressed.

I think your options are letting her cry it out or move her where she is comfortable. Personally I couldn't leave mine howling as it was driving me mad

We are working on crate training during the day but ours still isn't happy in it alone. Strangely enough she is fine outside of the crate being left but she is destructive!

tabulahrasa · 28/08/2017 06:40

Did the breeder crate train her?

Rubberduckies · 28/08/2017 06:46

Personally I found the crate a godsend, but you do need to build positive associations with it during the day, before locking them in for the night. Have you been doing lots of crate games and etc during the day? E.g. Every time puppy goes near/in crate give a treat. If puppy stays In Crate for a sec give a treat. If puppy lets you close the door for a sec give a treat. If puppy lets you step away give a treat. And build on those things. 5 min sessions regularly spaced through the day should help.

I would suggest that if she's awake for an hour howling, take her out on the lead to check she doesn't need the toilet again and then back in crate. Although the 'never go to them when they're crying' rule works to stop them crying to get let out, she's such a baby and it might help her realise that even if you do let her out at night, it's not for cuddles or playing, it's just a toilet break and it's boring.

Bythebeach · 28/08/2017 06:55

Is she happy in the crate in the day time? We have a just over 9 week lab who arrived 9 days ago but on the 1st 2 days she just didn't like the crate in the day time so we didn't force the issue in the name night. She fell asleep in the kitchen in everywhere but the crate on day 1 so when might came we left her in there with baby gate across door and my 12 year old on mattress in hall close by where she could smell
but not quite see him. During the day we built up positive crate association and by night 4 we put her in and only had minor whining and fine last 5 nights. Can she just be in kitchen?

Original poster

Newmelrose · 28/08/2017 07:56

Thank you everyone and for keeping me zane at 1am. I was convinced i wasn't helping and getting her more upset in my effort to calm her down...so I woke up DH and swapped places. He managed to shush her whilst she was in the crate and had her asleep in 10 mins! She slept till 6 a had a dry and clean bed. Happily going in and out of her crate this morning. Think DH is on duty tonight as may have to concede he is better at this than me -far more patient!!

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BiteyShark · 28/08/2017 08:07

To be honest if you read a lot of the literature it makes you feel that if you don't follow their way you will end up with a messed up dog. I found that just made me more anxious and stressed and it was as only when I stopped worrying so much and realised that I just had to find the right way for me did things start to click.

Original poster

Newmelrose · 28/08/2017 08:17

Thanks biteyshark that is exactly how I feel. I had researched quite a lot and thought I new what I was doing, and then started reading on here how cruel it was to leave her and was seriously doubting myself and what we are doing! She has generally settled v well, thought she was hating the cage but has just gone in there for a sleep. She did poo on the doormat this morning but apart from that has had no accidents - everything outside, have been taking he out hourly but I was imagining endless accidents so quite good so far. Kids have her sitting and staying and Steve happy dog owners!

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SparklingRaspberry · 28/08/2017 11:30

Please don't leave your puppy to bark or cry.

You have just taken it away from its mother and other litter mates. All of a sudden she's now alone in a place she doesn't know, and her cries being totally ignored

You need to comfort her. Not leave her.

I slept on the sofa for 2 weeks with my puppy. I wanted her to feel safe and to know that if she was distressed and cried then I would comfort her.
I then gradually moved to my bed. Whenever she barked I'd settle her. This helped her feel more secure and we never had any problems.

tabulahrasa · 28/08/2017 11:43

You haven't said whether she's actually crate trained or not...

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