New puppy sleep - help!

[Glittermud]

We have a 9wk old cockapoo who has been with us for the last two nights. He's gorgeous and we all love him; we spend every day repeating the wee/poo - play - food - sleep routine and he naps well throughout the day.

The problem is I don't know the best thing to do at night. I've read the links on here and info from books/online but I can't see what I should do for the best.

We have a crate but on the day we collected him he travelled in it in the car for 1.5 hrs and cried most of the way home. so he may have developed a negative association with it because he wouldn't go near it for the rest of the day. He fell asleep on a the floor in the first night and we went to bed. It was fine because he woke me at 5am the next day. Admittedly the house was covered in diarrhoea (he ate a twig before coming to us and hurt his bottom and is on mens)... But I thought that that was a good sign.

Then last night he wouldn't let me leave the room at bedtime without crying (he wasn't in his crate again) I read somewhere that he might settle within 30 mins so sat on the stairs out of sight and waited. He kept crying so I decided to sleep on the sofa (there's no room for a crate in our bedroom). And that way I could be on hand if he needed a wee. He jumped up and slept on my feet until 5am. Only one wee accident by back door. I'm worried that this is setting a bad precedent though.

I was going to crate train but there seems to be a paradox in that you're told to use one in your bedroom straight away to soothe them, but not to put them in and shut the door without training them or they'll be traumatised.

What should I do?! (BTW, I have started to improve his crate associations today with some training but I can see it'll potentially take weeks).

You're doing the right thing by teaching him the crate = positive. Lots of treats, toys etc.

I personally didn't crate train my pup.
I slept downstairs with her for 2 weeks. Fast forward to now, she's now 9 months old and after the first 2 weeks she was sleeping on her own downstairs happily. If she cried I would comfort her with a little rub under the chin but wouldn't overly fuss her.

I don't agree with letting them cry. It's cruel. The pup has just been taken away from its mother and litter, you're now bonding, if you ignore his cries it could damage the trust.

Honestly it depends on what you want to do and how necessary you see crate training as.

I didn't want to crate train so I didn't bother.

Feed meals in crate

Cover crate with blanket to make it like a dog den

Wear an old t shirt/nightie for you to wear day and night to sleep in without showering so it smells of you, then put in crate for him to snuggle

When he falls asleep on floor pick him up and put in crate

Play games throwing toys into crate for him to bring back to you

Make the area the puppy has access to quite small to start with

I would always go for sleeping near the puppy initially, regardless of where you want them to sleep long term. Not only is it the least distressing method for the puppy but it also carries the lowest risk for causing problems further down the line. Plenty of people get away with leaving their puppy to cry without long term issues but equally it very effectively sets some dogs up for hating being crated and/or separation anxiety. Back when DH and I got DDog2 all the advice was to put them in the crate at night and ignore all crying if they'd already been taken out to the toilet. We very quickly ended up with a puppy who was terrified of the crate and hated being left alone. It took a couple of years to fully rectify all the damage we did in the space of a matter of days when she first came home.

It's absolutely not a case of you must start as you mean to go on with sleeping arrangements. There's absolutely no reason at all you can't train your puppy to settle happily at night away from you once they're settled in with you and sleeping through the night.

I was going to crate train but there seems to be a paradox in that you're told to use one in your bedroom straight away to soothe them, but not to put them in and shut the door without training them or they'll be traumatised.

It does seem contradictory but it's not just a case of you deciding it's bedtime, putting the pup in their crate then shutting the door. You tire the puppy out, make sure they've been to the toilet then settle them whilst sitting by them with the crate door open. Once they're fast asleep you shut the door and when they wake in the night if you're close by then you'll probably be woken up by them moving around before they've realised they're shut in and start to cry. If they do cry you're right there and can immediately whip them out as soon as they've started. I think I posted this in reply to you on the Puppy Support thread but it's explained in this guide and someone asks exactly the same question in the comments.

As has been said though, you don't actually need to use a crate at night if you don't want to. I crate train mine in preparation for being left in the daytime but I don't use one at night. In the early days I sleep on a camp bed in the front room (so I have nice, quick access to the back door for nighttime toilet trips) with the puppy on the bed with me. As soon as they start stirring it wakes me up and I can get them out to the toilet and back into bed before they've had chance to fully wake up.

Great advice on here.

Just go slow, you'll get there in the end.

I spent the first 5 days or so, sleeping next to my pup and taking out for a wee (no fuss, no talking and straight beck to bed). Then over the next week or so slowly moved a little further away each night. He was probably sleeping through at after a couple of weeks. And it wasn't stressful for either of us . Just go at you and your pups pace, I'm sure you'll be fine in no time.

Our new pup hated the crate and so we now let her sleep in the bed (like our dog). She wears a nappy (simple solution one) and lets me know when she needs to go out (between 6-8am) for a wee etc.