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Divorce - dog custody

6 replies

Rightpivotturn · 03/08/2017 14:31

I'm wrestling with a dilemma. DH and I are going through a divorce. I'll be moving in about 4 weeks to the other end of the country. At the moment, we have 3 dogs. Ddog 1 is 14 and now very poorly, and I'm honestly not expecting her to live until I leave - we are literally taking things day by day with her at the moment. Ddog 2 is 5 and will be going with DH - he's absolutely besotted with him, and it's clearly the right thing. My difficulty is with Ddog 3 - she's about 10, loves both of us, but is a flexible, happy soul. Initially, my thought was that she would come with me when I move, but I'm looking at how this is going to work in practice. I'll have 1 FT job (which will itself have occasional overtime/weekend working) and I'm in the process of sorting an additional PT job (eves/weekends) as the FT job is quite a low wage.

The more I think about it, the more I think that this will not be much of a life for DDog3 - even if I find a good doggy daycare, she won't be seeing very much of me, whereas with DH he works at home and she'll be with dogs/people she loves.

I could look at just doing the FT job - but I've done my sums and I honestly don't see how I could manage if I'm faced with a vet's bill (and they do happen), or a bad month with the car as well. It's also going to be a real struggle funding the daycare for her.

This is actually proving the hardest part of the process. Any helpful hints from people who've been there/done it?

I should stress that I have every trust in DH in terms of dog welfare/care - he is absolutely devoted to them, massively experienced and this was actually the first issue he was concerned about when I raised the issue of divorce. We are also at the moment keeping things very constructive and respectful - something we both want to continue.

OP posts:
UrsulaPandress · 03/08/2017 14:33

Let her go with your DH.

Get a cat.

BiteyShark · 03/08/2017 14:35

I think DDog3 should stay with your DH. I would hate to be in your situation Flowers but it does sound like the best thing for the dog is with him and DDog2.

Mrscropley · 03/08/2017 14:35

Do you have dc?
Are you going to stay in touch?
My mate and her ex had their dog a week each!! Was quite bizarre given he cheated and was a class A twat to her!!
Maybe request week ends /holidays??

Rightpivotturn · 03/08/2017 14:37

Shared custody will be difficult, to put it mildly. Without outing ourselves, we'll be at least 300 miles apart (probably around 5 hrs by car). Not really feasible.

OP posts:
Mrscropley · 03/08/2017 15:52

Ah that's a shame.
When I left exh I had to leave the dog as ll wouldn't accept pets in new home. . It did weigh heavily until I realised the move was best for me and dc which outweighed ddog's needs unfortunately. .
I have dogs again now and my new dh knows if we go pear shaped they all stay with me!! (he can have the dc!!)

Floralnomad · 03/08/2017 15:55

Just leave both dogs with him , it will be less disruption for them to stay together . Good luck with the new job etc.

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