Is my new puppy aggressive, unhappy or is this just normal behaviour?

[FiddleFigs]

We picked up the new puppy (8 week old cocker spaniel) on Friday and I know it's been less than a week, but I worry that I've made a dreadful mistake both for him and us.

I have no concerns about his breeding and early upbringing (the breeder had the pups in her kitchen, and they were around her young children from very early days) - we visited a couple of times before we brought him home so we saw how he lived and interacted with his litter and the breeder's family. But he doesn't seem to have settled with us.

DD is 4, and is very gentle around him (and actually tends to leave him alone most of the time) but in the last few days he has been displaying some signs of aggression towards her and me (snarling/growling, lunging and biting). He growls and snarls at me too most times, unless I'm giving him his meals. I was prepared for nipping and puppy biting, and there is some of that. But sometimes it goes beyond that.

I find him very difficult to play with because he just wants to tear around the garden - he doesn't want to interact with me or play much, and any playing usually lasts about a minute before he starts showing the aggressive behaviour and then I immediately stop. He's also pretty aloof. He plays quite happily with DH (but DH works long hours during the week, and so he only sees him for about 30 mins/1 hour at each end of the day).

I grew up with dogs and have experienced many puppies, but never this behaviour. Have I just been lucky in the past? And is this fairly normal for puppies? Am I just overreacting, or is he just not happy with us?

(sorry for the length of this post, but I don't want to miss anything out.)

Just a little update. We've been following the advice here, namely: a consistent approach to the biting; restricting the areas he's allowed in; hand-feeding and v gentle play. And he's a different puppy! The biting/nipping has almost stopped (except when he's excited or tired) and he's now stuck to my side and is a much calmer pup. So thank you again for all the advice.

Only problem now is that he isn't v good at being on his own! I left him alone at home for the first time today: 10 minutes, while I popped to the post box. Got home to find he'd vommed in his crate and neighbour said he'd howled and wailed pretty much non-stop while I was out!

You've gotta do that really long bit of training where you build up the amount of time you're gone from literally one minute upwards! When you come in don't make a fuss of the dog, just make sure the dog knows that you coming and going is completely normal.

Glad to hear there is no more nipping

Yes you need to build up the time they are left alone. I waited until he had peeded and pooed so I knew he was comfortable and safe and left and hid for short periods. Some people don't advocate leaving the puppy at all to cry but I did and just waited until he was quiet before going back in and rewarding him for being calm and quiet. I repeated this every day building up the time before going back in. I made sure I left him for short periods everyday to get him used to me coming and going.

Well done OP. I guess the issue is that now he's bonded to you he's worried he'll lose you (like mum )

Build up by starting with him being separated in the house - use baby gates and keep him in one room with a treat or toy, whilst you're in another. Build up the distance/go out to the garden etc.

Each time you 'leave' ensure he's comfortable and has a kong or treat to occupy him. Just for a minute or two. Return when he's quiet and (this is the important part) TOTALLY IGNORE HIM.

You need to make your departure and arrival total non-events. No greetings or praise. Otherwise he'll be wound up and desperate when you leave and return. And EVERYONE on the family has to do the same. Come home and Ignore. Get a drink, fold the laundry, whatever, just act calm and normal for 5-10 minutes. Then when he's settled and realised your return isn't massively exciting, you can praise and interact with him.

Separation training is an essential part of puppy socialisation.
www.rspca.org.uk/ImageLocator/LocateAsset?asset=document&assetId=1232734741810&mode=prd