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The doghouse

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Original poster

Experience of giving up a dog?

36 replies

Rache7 · 07/07/2017 23:48

Hi I really need advice, I've decided to re home my boy but two things are stopping me & its my fault this is dragging out because of my emotional attachment to him but I know he'd be much happier elsewhere. (Dh & I split up & I've gone from own business at home to full time work).
The kids - its crossed my mind to lie & tell them he died because this will be my fault & they'll blame me for it

Second, actually giving him up to a rehoming centre - how does it work? I would like to tell them all about him etc but I'm worried I won't go through with it the longer I stay.
Hes such a lovely dog but I can't give him the one thing he wants most which is company, he just wants to sit at someone's feet all day & he's so miserable atm Sad
I've tried borrow my doggy for a year now & either the people are unreliable or love him so much they get their own dog! I've tried a dog sitter but I know he feels stressed with other dogs all day, he can't relax like he does on his own.
I think he would find being in a rehoming centre really distressing because he likes peace & quiet SadSadSad
Has anyone gone through giving up a dog you love & do you have any happy ending stories for me? 🙏

OP posts:
Stopnamechanging · 07/07/2017 23:50

I haven't done this but I know some will re home direct from you if you can hang on to him, to avoid the stress of kennelling.

Where is he from? Could you use a breed rescue or go back to the breeder.

If originally a rescue, go back to them.

Original poster
Rache7 · 07/07/2017 23:58

No I've had him from a puppy & the lady has since moved. Hes 4

OP posts:
Stopnamechanging · 07/07/2017 23:59

I think the best thing is to contact no kill rescues or a breed one. It would be better to keep him with you until he can be re homed.

Original poster
Rache7 · 08/07/2017 00:00

Thanks for not hating on me btw. Idk why I'm so worried about that at a rehoming place, its in his best interests to go so why am I worried what people think of me? I'm worried they'll think hes unloved & therefore unlovable??????

OP posts:
Justhadmyhaircut · 08/07/2017 00:01

Doggy day care?
They will get to know which dogs he likes and can be around and which ones make him stressed. .

DinosaursArentMakeBelieve · 08/07/2017 00:01

If he's from a registered breeder you should be able to trace them through Kennel Club? I know that with our dog we agreed that if for any reason we were unable to look after her, we'd give her back to the breeder.

BiggerBoatNeeded · 08/07/2017 00:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Rache7 · 08/07/2017 00:02

I've tried that but its just the noise & excitability of other dogs in general. He will happily play with other dogs in the fields but not stay with another

OP posts:
Original poster
Rache7 · 08/07/2017 00:03

Hes a yorkiepoo

OP posts:
sparechange · 08/07/2017 00:03

What breed is he?
What signs of stress is he showing from being around other dogs?
What signs of being miserable is he showing from not being around you?

If you take him to a rescue centre, and assuming they have space, he will have a behavioural assessment.
If he passes (and those questions I've asked will give some indication of whether he will pass), he will be put into kennels for the rehoming process.

If he fails, he will either be put down straight away or put in permanent kennels depending on the 'kill policy' of the rescue

There is a small chance he will be sent out to foster if he really can't cope around other dogs but there is generally a foster shortage

If you get in touch with a breed-specific rescue, they might try and rehome him from you, so he doesn't have to go into kennels. But you will have to keep him until they find a home

Have you done everything you can to keep him? Worked with a trainer on his separation anxiety etc?

Original poster
Rache7 · 08/07/2017 00:04

I've tried contacting the breeder (not for this reason) but I couldn't trace her

OP posts:
UrsulaPandress · 08/07/2017 00:05

Yes to a breed specific rescue.

Spaniel aid U.K. are fab at rehoming and all dogs go into foster in a home.

They have quite a few where work has changed and someone is no longer at home all day.

MeltingSnowflake · 08/07/2017 00:08

I would definitely try to re-home him myself - if at all possible you should try and save him the horrid experience of going to a rescue/kennels.

Start putting feelers out with friends, family, neighbours - people you KNOW would give him a good home. If you re-home through a rescue, even if they do a home visit, you can't know how he'll be treated.

The 'Borrow my Doggy' walkers that loved him so much may want to adopt him - perhaps you could part with him to the next one to fall in love with him?

Original poster
Rache7 · 08/07/2017 00:10

What breed is he? yorkiepoo
What signs of stress is he showing from being around other dogs? unable to relax, being jumpy. Hes little & is intimidated by bigger dogs. Hes never been hurt but hes been pinned down
What signs of being miserable is he showing from not being around you? not wanting to move off my lap. Looking very miserable when I leave. Following me everywhere. Sleeping an awful lot (i put the old baby camera on him so I can see him) I'm worried hes sleeping his life away.
No ive not tried a trainer because I don't think he has separation anxiety as much as depression. He doesn't howl or rip stuff up.

OP posts:
Original poster
Rache7 · 08/07/2017 00:16

Thanks, no I've got no friends or family that could have him for various reasons.
I'm not sure that's a good idea re bmd because one I'd have to rejoin the blimmin site and two I get an awful lot of time wasters or students who really couldn't have him. If I'd thought of that before they'd got their own dog I couldve done but I'm not sure about rejoining it specifically to find a home for him
Thanks for talking to me about this btw, I feel like talking is helping get things clearer in my mind.

OP posts:
BiggerBoatNeeded · 08/07/2017 00:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AntiopeofThemyscira · 08/07/2017 00:21

I'm a dog walker. Not all my clients like to go out so I sit with them at home or play with them in the garden, in this weather we get the paddling pool out. You could find some to do that if you're willing to pay.

Original poster
Rache7 · 08/07/2017 00:22

Yes I just feel terribly guilty that hes gone from almost permanent company to a few hours a day. Hes not happy I know that.

OP posts:
AntiopeofThemyscira · 08/07/2017 00:22

And I don't he sounds particularly miserable to be honest from your description.

Original poster
Rache7 · 08/07/2017 00:24

Oh blimey well I guess you have to see it to believe it.
Thanks I'll try poodle rehoming

OP posts:
sparechange · 08/07/2017 00:29

Those aren't signs of a dog being miserable!

Those are signs a dog has a bit of an over attachement to you - easily remedied with training, and is pretty content with life
Stressed and anxious dogs don't sleep all day! Hence the saying 'a tired dog is a happy dog'

It sounds like you are trying to find an excuse to get rid of him tbh

SpikyCoconut · 08/07/2017 00:34

Definitely agree with meltingsnowflake here. Try to avoid putting him to a rescue if you possibly can-they're not nice places for dogs used to homes and families. I agree he doesn't sound miserable either? Is this a permenant thing your being out all the time? Could you get a neighbour to have him for a bit during the day? My friend did this with an elderly woman who was delighted for the company!
Or a dog walker?

bluetongue · 08/07/2017 00:42

I wish my boy slept while I was out! My dog shows true signs of anxiety while he's alone. Crying for hours, staying near the front door waiting for me and frantically scratching at the front door. I have considered rehoming him to a home with doggy company but wouldn't consider a rehoming centre. He'd either go back to his breeder or stay with me until a new home was found through my Whippet contacts. If the new home didn't work out I'd take him back. Please don't give your dog up from where he's happy at least most of the time to a possible death or worse.

If you think your boy is miserable now, how do you think he'd feel stuck in kennels Sad

Picklesandpies · 08/07/2017 06:53

I personally think you should keep him and try other things for a bit longer as once he's gone he's gone and he sounds like a lovely dog. However I do have our own experience to share so I understand some of what you are going through.

We had a cockapoo puppy - everything was fine for the first two months and then she started being snappy (not mouthing but growling and biting for no apparent reason.) We decided that we had to put our children first and took the decision to give her up.

We called the Doodle Trust - they only rehome poodle cross breeds. They were very good and happy just to give advice initially but when that didn't work we took her to the lady's home and left her there with all her things - it was so hard but definitely the right decision. The lady was so nice and our dog was able to run around with her dog in their garden while we left so it wasn't as traumatic as it could have been. She said that our dog really needed to be with another dog who would put her in her place and shouldn't be with children.

I hope you give things more time but that's another option.

Slippersandacuppa · 08/07/2017 08:01

Where are you OP?

What's he like with children and other animals? I've got lots of the above, including two dogs. DH would love a Yorkshire terrier but is allergic so needs the doodle bit and we only rescue animals...

If you've exhausted all the other suggestions, maybe you could PM me?

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