I don't know what to do

[Deardinah]

I'm sorry for posting this message but I just don't know what to do & was hopeful that perhaps asking others might help me out.
I have a 13 year old springer who is just everything...
In march we found out she had a rare cancer (of the clitoris of all places) the tumour is massive & inoperable. It's pressing on her bladder & bowels & she strains all the time.
Amazingly she doesn't seem to let it stop her. She's alert, eating well, gaining weight, waggy & still desperate for attention & walkies.
This is why it's so so hard.
We've been managing her pain levels with drugs & it's been ok so far, the odd infection here & there but she's coped. The vet is confident she is not suffering.
Unfortunately we were asked to leave our rented house at the end of May & are currently waiting for our own house purchase to complete (not likely till September) which has left us in a difficult position in that we've had to move in with my parents. They have two dog aggressive dogs, so we have to keep our Springer indoors, we have to take her outside.
We had been managing ok but this past week she has lost bladder control.
She's wet every morning, I'm washing her every day (which she hates) she has to stay in the kitchen, as I've little ones running around. Mum despairs because there's urine everywhere (I'm trying to use puppy pads but she's a fast moving springer so they never stay in place)
It's so stressful, I'm working part time, two children, cramped at home & my poor beautiful dog isn't getting any attention.
When she was diagnosed, we were settled in our home & I had plans to do stuff with her this summer, to make the most of our time, but now we're financially strapped & stressed to the eyeballs...
What I'm now faced with is what life this is for my old girl. It's not her fault, I feel so guilty.
My parents think I'm being cruel
Keeping her alive, but I always thought dogs tell you when they're ready. She just doesn't seem ready.
I don't know what to think or do.
I'm sorry this is so long.

When I say we were asked to leave. We aren't awful tenants, my landlord needed to move back in.

OP, I'm so very sorry to read this.

I have springers too and I know how wonderful they are. I've had to have two old girls pts in the last couple of years and I know it's hard, but sometimes it's the kindest thing to do. At 13 your girl is very elderly now for the breed, and from what you say she is very unwell even though she might not be in pain yet.

I'm not sure you want to hear this, but from what you've said I think your lovely old girl is ready . The loss of bladder control will be distressing for her, she'll hate it.

There's a saying I've read on here many times - 'better a day too soon than a week too late', and I really believe it's a wise one.

I know it's a horrendous decision to have to make, but when you choose to pts think of it being the last, kindest thing you can do for her.

What I've said above is based only on what you've said about the dog, I didn't even consider your living situation. If you'd been settled in your new home I've have said the same.

Also, I bought dog nappies but she won't let us put them on. Her 'downstairs' must be sore

Thank you for your kindness dramaalpaca I think I was waiting for the 'usual' signs listlessness, not eating etc.
I just feel so terribly guilty

Don't feel guilty Deardinah . It's not your fault and having her pts before she goes badly downhill is a kind thing to do, it really is. Horrible decision though, I really feel for you.

So sorry for you.

We were told 'better a week too soon than a day too late'. I completely agree. It's a privilege having the means to euthanise.

I don't mean to be flippant, but dogs really just live in the moment. They don't think 'oh I'd like to have seen the autumn leaves'

It gave me great peace knowing that I'd put his needs above my own iykwim.

We lost our two dogs last year. Our old girl was badly failed by the vet and suffered before she went. I don't think I'll ever forgive myself.

One week after our boy's terminal diagnosis our new vet came to the house and he slipped away on his favourite sofa, with his head on my lap. He probably could have had another week or so but there was the risk of him suddenly falling off a cliff edge into extreme pain and I couldn't take that risk with him.

Don't let your last memories of your lovely dog be destroyed by feeling that you failed her.
I'm so sorry you have to make this decision, you'll never be ready but it really is better to do it too early.

Oh bless you, what a horrible decision to make. But I think that this would be a kind time to have her quietly PTS at her own home, if poss, so she wouldn't have the added stress of moving and dealing with the other dogs. Sadly it's only going to go downhill, so you're not at all letting her down, you sound like you've done as much as possible for her. With my parent's old GSD we made the decision when he was soiling himself and obviously upset about it. Hugs to you.x

Thank you for your kindness everyone.
I have just said goodbye to my beautiful girl. I'm heartbroken.

I'm so sorry. She sounds like she had an amazing, happy life with your family, and at least the cancer is never going to make her suffer now.

So sorry to hear this OP. Sounds like you've done the absolutely best thing for her though, as hard as is it.

Wish you well.

How terribly sad for you.

I'm so so sorry you have lost your girl. It really sounds like you have done exactly the right thing for her. You may be suffering but she's running free over the rainbow bridge.

Thinking of you OP. We're taking our rabbit to be PTS tomorrow (he's 10 so we've had him a long time). I'm feeling many of the emotions you've felt this week.

You've done the right thing. Be gentle with yourself xxx

Deardinah I'm so, so sorry for your loss

I'm so so sorry it's such a difficult decision to make. I'm sure you have made the right decision, but it's heartbreaking never the less.

I am also facing having to make this decision tomorrow and my heart is breaking in two....( my old girl keeps looking at me and I'm convinced she can read my mind, and knows what the outcome of tomorrow is going to be )

Sorry for rambling. .

Oh I'm so sorry. It really is tough. Would you like to show us a picture of her?
Here are my lovely two we lost last year. We miss them multiple times a day but I do find myself thinking with pleasure more and more of the good times now.
My old girl loved Springers - they would do crazy greyhound play with her.

Oh Twins, just seen your post!
Stay calm and strong for your girl so she doesn't feel scared - they're so good at reading us. It's awful afterwards. Be kind to yourself & come back for a handhold if you need it.

So sorry for your loss x
B kind to yourself

So sorry. It's awful, I know. Take some comfort from knowing that you gave her a long and happy life and at the end did the kindest, most loving thing that you can ever do for a beloved pet.

So sorry, it's heartbreaking. but you've done the right think. We let our girl go on to long I think and I'm haunted that she spent her last few days suffering and being poked and prodded and in a cage she hated at the vets

So sorry

My pretty baby. I will miss her so much. Today was the hardest day I ever faced.

Gorgeous.x

Oh she's gorgeous! What a pretty, intelligent looking springer, and how happy she looks there.

These are my two old girls we lost over the last couple of years.