Daughter wants to get a dog - What are the pros & cons?

[moonfacebaby]

DD1 has been desperate for a dog for a few years now. She's a real animal lover & currently has 3 hamsters, who she looks after very well.

I have several concerns about the practicalities of looking after a dog:

1. I'm a single parent, who juggles a teaching job, a largish house & the day to day stuff of looking after 2 kids (exH lives miles away so only sees the kids EOW & shares school holidays).
2. I'm allergic to some dogs (DD1 has research hypoallergenic dogs & given me a list of possible breeds)
3. The cost - I'm scared of big vets bills - is pet insurance affordable?
4. The extra responsibility falling to me.
5. DD2 is 5 - I'm worried she'll be too hyper or drive a dog to bite her.
6. I work part-time (around 3 days a week) & I worry about a dog being left for stretches of time.

DD1 sees a counsellor (due to issues with anxiety, self-harm relating to her dad leaving & family bereavements). The counsellor has suggested that a dog would be good for DD1 - maybe trying to foster a rescue dog, or trial some out this way.

I know she'd step up to the mark & walk it every day & deal with the general day to day stuff (poo patrol, cleaning), and part of me thinks it would be great to have a dog as part of the family.

I've always taken the commitment of family pets very seriously & I know dogs can be hard work. In some ways, I'd be better suited to a cat (just because they are better at being left to their own devices at home) but I'm hideously allergic to them!

Experienced dog owners - what are the pros & cons to owning your dogs? What are the realistic costs? Has anyone done the rescue dog thing?

Thank you...

I have two dogs at the moment. One seems to always have issues, so we're at the vet quite often (allergies, anal glands etc, nothing serious), but he's the only dog I've ever had which spent any real time at the vet. Most of my dogs went to the vet for vaccinations as puppies, and never again until they were old and started to get age-related issues. So, for the average dog, I'd say that vet costs are negligible. The real costs are in feeding them.

My friend has a poodle cross (I think she's a mini poodle mixed with a groodle, so two thirds poodle) and she's gorgeous. Doesn't lose her hair. Sweet as pie. Not at all demanding. Just happy to be in your presence. And SO trainable. She's a real gem. I would recommend looking into a breed like that for both the (likely) temperament and the hypoallergenic factor.

I have a beagle and a border collie. I wouldn't recommend either to first time owners.

Ultimately, I wouldn't be without my dogs. I love them with every fibre of my being and my heart physically hurts when I look at them and see their happiness when we come home. They're the most amazing creatures, dogs are. Their love and loyalty knows no bounds, and any little "cons" to having them (having to walk them twice daily, having to pick up the poo etc) is nothing compared the pros (love, affection, companionship, a sense of responsibility etc). I think kids - well, people in general - benefit immensely from having pets.

1. If you teach how long are you going to be out for for those three days. For long periods you are going to need to pay for dog walkers or day care.

1. No dog is fully hypoallergenic. You can minimise it with certain breeds but you can still be allergic.

1. I pay around towards £40 per month for insurance. You need to factor in excess plus vaccinations and cost of flea and worming treatments. Dogs are not cheap.

1. Dogs are hard work, every single day. It will be hard on you and you have to walk, feed and care for them even if you are unwell or tired yourself.

1. Small children need to be told not to pull or torment any dog. You will need to watch them like a hawk or separate them when required.

How old is DD1?

You can't rely on a child to pick up poo and walk. You have to be prepared to do it yourself....so can you commit to an hour walk a day?

You would need a dog walker on the days when you work or at least a neighbour/relative to come and let the dog out at midday. My dog walker charges £9 for a 30 min walk. It adds up.

Pet insurance is affordable while they're young. I pay £15 a month for a 2yo dog. However not everything is covered.....teeth often aren't and I am plagued by dogs who refuse to have their teeth brush resulting in a yearly dental which is about £300-£400

The main thing is not been able to go out at weekends....well you can but dog walking. Days out to zoos, theme parks, activities are harder to work out unless you have friends who will look after the dog.

You would need to ensure your 5yo learns how to behave around a dog so the dog isn't driven to biting her, at 5yo she is old enough to learn when to leave the dog alone.

I have a cavachon btw which some people find ok with allergies. She certainly doesn't shed hair. They're very sweet tempered, lazy dogs.

How old is your daughter?

I think, and I'm not anti-puppy at all, that an older dog might work in this situation. Puppy's get very wound up by the quick movements of young children and it can lead them to bite - not in an aggressive way, they're just trying to play and biting is part of that when you're a puppy!

There are breeds that are much better for allergies but like Bitey said it's not 100% guaranteed. If you got an older dog you could have a trial or take it for a few walks and see whether it affects you.

If you're out teaching you will either need to go home at lunch time or get a dog walker or dog daycare. A pup is going to need someone going into them much more frequently - an older dog will be okay with just a lunch time visit.

I was desperate for a dog and got one at 12. I adored her and really did care for her fully. She was an adult rescue dog and I went to training classes with her etc which I loved. I would definitely recommend your daughter gets involved with agility or something similar as the dog community is often a great source of friendship. I've got friends I've known since having my first dog and that's quite a number of years ago!

How old is DD1?

Can she do something like borrow my doggie for a while first?

And yes, unless you can come up with a solution for your work days, it isn't going to be fair on the dog.

Is DD1 after a puppy? With toilet training, crying and chewing on top of 'normal' dog stuff?

Therapist might be right but therapist doesn't have to deal with practicalities

The only pet insurance worth having is PetPlan, around £25/£30 a month but they pay out no quibbles and don't hike the premium.

Ultimately whilst your DD is enthusiastic now, you can't expect her to make a 10-15 year commitment through school, university etc. Her life will change a lot over that time. So ultimately you have to be responsible for this dog.

Dogs vary in expense. An injury or illness can cost thousands so insurance is a good idea. There are no hypoallergenic dog breeds - most people are allergic to dander (shed skin cells) not hair, so the moulting aspect is often irrelevant, though makes cleaning easier!

Watching with interest as I'm in a very similar situation. DD is older and piling on the emotional blackmail to the point that I am worried of the consequences of saying "no". If you are anything like me, the allergy means you have avoided dogs all your life. It is not an easy decision.
Given that my DD has gone as far as finding a litter of hypoallergenic pups for sale, I suspect I may be able to offer some advice in the near future. Until then, I can only wish you the best of luck.

My friend has a poodle cross (I think she's a mini poodle mixed with a groodle, so two thirds poodle) and she's gorgeous. Doesn't lose her hair. Sweet as pie. Not at all demanding. Just happy to be in your presence. And SO trainable. She's a real gem. I would recommend looking into a breed like that for both the (likely) temperament and the hypoallergenic factor.

Please don't get a poodle cross. They are not a breed, and the fashion for them is driving backyard breeding and puppy farms, as they are not regulated in the way breeds are. They very rarely do health testing, so it's also driving an increase in congenital abnormalities like the undershot jaw in pugs. Poodle crosses are rarely hypoallergenic- taking a hypoallergenic dog and crossing it will make it less hypoallergenic. I never did understand the logic.

I'd also avoid anything with an amalgamated name. For the reasons above. There's a puppy farm somewhere and they seem to think up breeds constantly, morkie, snoodle, wowzer, maltichon- these are not breeds!

If you want something intelligent and non shedding, just get a poodle.

Whippets and greyhounds also have very clean coats, and there are breed specific rescues.

Please don't dismiss staffies either. Loads in rescue, and they are brilliant family dogs.

Cons:
The days I work, I have to get up an hour earlier to walk and feed our dogs. This is lovely on balmy summer mornings, but also has to be done when it is dark, snowing, pissing with rain, blowing a gale etc.
Exercise needs vary by breed. A small, bright, active dog like a terrier will need more free running than you expect - ours used to need to more than SILs pet-bred Labrador.
You can go out for longer periods if your dogs have access to the outside. If we go out for the day, we walk and feed the dogs and then leave them the run of two rooms with access to the garden. They are quite happy with this deal for up to eight hours, but I wouldn't do it on a regular basis. And as soon we get in, we walk them again... It is making finding a job quite difficult, as I am limited where and how long I can work.
Cost: We don't insure our dogs. We have a slush fund that would cover a considerable emergency vet bill, and are of the view that if a dog would have a really massive vet bill (>5k), it's probably not fair on the dog to put it through all that treatment (I've watched Super Vet and thought, just, no. And the dog died anyway.) Our vet bills so far have been vaccinations, flea and worm (we pay about a tenner a month per dog for vaccs and f&w), neutering, and a couple of split pad type injuries. This is over the course of 14 years, 9 of those with two dogs.
If you get a pedigree dog, check out the health conditions prevalent in the breed and also aim for as low a coefficient of inbreeding (COI) as possible. A low COI doesn't guarantee a healthy dog, but it ups your chances.
Your food costs will vary depending on the size of your dog and what you feed it. This is a really good site for comparing the cost and quality of various foods.
I dread to think how much we have shelled out over the years on beds, leads, toys, training, boarding kennels and so on. But the litter of dog toys is our choice...

What is your DD2 like around dogs in general? We had a large breed puppy in the house when our youngest was 6 and there were no issues at all. She was however used to dogs as we had one already. If your DD isn't used to dogs, make sure she is really comfortable with them before you get a puppy.

As for the pros... Dogs are wonderful: loyal , funny, interesting, and they get you out and walking.

And Possum, at your dental bills!

You will never be able to just go out for the day, or on holiday, without making arrangements for the hound. They are incredibly tying, but ultimately worth it in my opinion.

I should say, if you go for a cross-bred, check out the health conditions shared by the two breeds. See if the parents have been tested.

I don't share the view that BYBs are all the spawn of Satan. Our oldest dog was bred by the friend of a friend, who bred to fill a gap in the working dogs needed for the farm. Our youngest dog came from a BYB who was breeding more of the same of a successful working dog, let us visit the puppies as many times as we wanted, and who insisted on a home check. You just have to be careful that someone who looks like a BYB is not a front for a puppy farm.

1. The recommendation is that an adult dog be left for no more than 4 hours. That's once settled in. You can't get a dog and leave it shut in whilst you go to work all day. Puppies shouldn't be left.
2. Hypoallergenic dogs? Absolutely no such thing. You may be less likely to react to certain breeds but breed is no guarantee. I'm guessing she is suggesting a poodle cross? The thing is that with a cross you have no idea which parent it will be more like. I do dog training with two cocker/poodle crosses. One looks like a poodle and one a cocker. Totally different
3. We have a massive dog. £40 ish for dog insurance. They doesn't include flea treatment, worming, vaccination, neutering, grooming, claw clipping etc.
4. It will fall to you. If you don't want to train the dog and walk it twice a day and never leave the dog for the day then don't get one.
5. My youngest was 6 when we got the pup. They could never be left alone. Pups grab things with their mouths. Biting. Chewing. Everything! And if your child can't be trusted to leave a sleeping or eating dog alone or stay calm and behave appropriately round the dog then don't get one.
6. See one!

Dogs are massive commitments. Not sure? Don't get one!

Given that my DD has gone as far as finding a litter of hypoallergenic pups for sale, I suspect I may be able to offer some advice in the near future. Until then, I can only wish you the best of luck.

No she hasn't. They don't exist. She's likely being conned by a backyard breeder.

YOU will be responsible for this dog for the next 10-15 years - including holidays, weekends, days out. Is it practical for your family? Do YOU want to walk, poo pick, train etc?

Seriously look into the responsibilities that a dog comes with
The majority of pet owners are failing their dogs:
www.pdsa.org.uk/get-involved/our-current-campaigns/pdsa-animal-wellbeing-report

Advice here:
www.dogstrust.org.uk/help-advice/

Yy to PP re poodle crosses. Just go for an actual poodle. Ours is lovely, if slightly neurotic at times. Definitely no shedding. But i stopped work just before we got her as a pup. She was an easy pup as it happens but definitely couldn't have just been left

And as Wolfie says, with ANY doubts, don't

And research published this week has shown that the origin of a puppy has a lifelong impact on its gracious with approved breeders producing dogs with better temperaments and fewer problems.

Use this to ensure your breeder is responsible:
puppycontract.rspca.org.uk/home

Gracious=behaviour

I was going to suggest a cat until you said you were allergic. Any chance of looking into non allergic cats, maybe a Devon Rex?

It sounds like you have a fair bit on your plate. I'm finding my puppy pretty full on and I don't have any children to care for. I love him but if I'm being brutally honest with myself I would have been better off sticking with cats. My boy is healthy physically but I'm going to be paying for exert help for his separation anxiety soon. No idea how much it will cost but he's my responsibility now so it needs to be sorted.

DD1 is almost 12, so she can easily share the walking, grooming etc of a dog.

I had dogs as a child - I was only allergic in the sense that if they licked me, I would break out in a rash. I do tend to acclimatise to dogs & some are worse than others.

My reservations are around the lack of freedom & obviously with it being left for the day whilst I'm at work. I wouldn't get a puppy - I'm more interested in a rescue dog, even if it's a long wait until we find one that would suit us & for us to be right for the dog.

I think I might try the Borrow my dog thing - this should give us a taster of the day to day implications.

I'm incredibly cautious about most things to be honest, so my doubts would happen with anything. I can see how much it would bring to a family home but my main concern is my ability to cope with a dog on top of everything else I have to manage.

I won't do it unless I'm very sure I can cope.

She won't be walking the dog. Maybe in the summer or for a few months. But when it's so windy that the heavy rain is horizontal and soaks right through to your pants? When it's so cold you can't feel your hands on the lead?
I wouldn't let a child walk a dog alone. Last week big pup was surrounded by 6 yappy and aggressive little buggers. How would a child cope with that?
And what about when she's doing GCSE in a few years? How will she fit everything in?
You will be walking the dog!
How about volunteering for The Cinnamon Trust? You can walk as often or little as you like. (Not all cases will be on the website.) You get to take a dog out, help keep an owner with their beloved pet and get plenty of poo picking practice!

I've just signed up to the Borrow my Doggy scheme - I will see how we get on with that.

She does often walk her friends dogs - the two of them go together & her friend has two labradors. This had included wet, windy, cold & she is chief poo picker-upper.

I know that ultimately the buck will stop with me & those winter walks do not sound pleasant. I wouldn't have as many doubts as I do if I had another adult to help out - I do have a partner but we don't live together & I don't intend to do that in the future.

She has another friend who has a young dog. The poor thing is in the house all day & never gets walked - which is appalling. I just don't understand how people get dogs & then don't look after them properly...

There are teenagers at our dog training sessions so whilst I agree that your DD will share some of the training and dog walking you need to be prepared for her to lose interest in the bad weather, when she wants to go out with her friends, gets a partner, goes to college/uni etc (even with an older dog you may have 10-15 years with good health).

My family had dogs when I was a child but this was not in the same league as owning one for yourself. Personally in your shoes I would not get one for your DD but only for you as you will be the one responsible for it.

You will be responsible for the dog walking, I wouldn't let a child walk a dog alone. So assuming dd1 wants to go with you your dd1 and dd2 will need to go out twice a day, one of which should be an hour every day rain, wind, snow, and dark. It's fine for the first year or two, but the novelty soon wears off.

Dogs cost a lot, our young lab is £34/month for pet insurance. £11/month for pet health (vacs, boosters, worm and flea treatment). £50 for a bag of decent food which lasts 6 weeks. Dog walker if you are out. You also need to add on waterproof and/or warm clothing and shoes for everyone.

If you get a dog you always risk they have or develop housetraining issues, resource guarding, health issues, fear issues or any other behavioural problems and should be committed to the time and money to resolve these.

We have made a lot of financial and social sacrifices to have a dog. Love him to bits and he makes our house filthy a home.