Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Original poster

Anxiety - is this normal?

21 replies

Flippetydip · 06/06/2017 17:44

Me, not the dog. I researched and researched and felt totally ready to bring a dog into our lives. We have, as you know, bought home a beautiful greyhound. She is doing amazingly and is settling brilliantly, particularly considering she's only been with us a week.

I, however, am feeling exactly like I did when we first had the children - totally terrified, worried and anxious. Is this normal? Will it pass? I feel deeply pathetic!

OP posts:
BiteyShark · 06/06/2017 18:21

Yes I worried like mad at the beginning. It wasn't helped by the fact that if you have researched lots you will find quite a lot of black and white opinions where if you do or don't do X you will end up with a badly behaved, peeing, pooing anxious dog. I soon learned to chill a bit and find my own way but I still get anxious when I think he is ill or injured.

Boynamedsue · 06/06/2017 19:58

We also have a retired greyhound and I spent the first couple of months in a constant state of anxiety (I should add that I am a worrier in general though!) The first few nights we had him he would run upstairs every time one of us went to the bathroom. One night he didn't, I lay awake worrying if he was OK and eventually went downstairs 'for a glass of water' to check he was still breathing . He was fine, just asleep!

IME it will pass, we're even a bit less obsessed by his poos now and that was a hot topic of conversation in our house for a while. It's not really that dissimilar to having a child, they're a living thing that relies on you for everything. So no, you're not pathetic, totally normal Smile

Original poster
Flippetydip · 06/06/2017 21:07

Thanks both. It doesn't help that she's quite whiney when we leave her in the house on her own so I'm not thinking "that's it, we've ruined our lives and lost our freedom - we can never go out again".

I keep having to say to myself, it's only been a week, calm down!

OP posts:
TattyCat · 06/06/2017 21:51

Ha! This made me smile Grin

I'm 8 months into our rescue lab and I'm still anxious - I still check she's breathing several times a day. I'm a little bit in love with her and she's precious! but I have also relaxed quite a lot from the first days and weeks. I do still check her poo (most of which I have to pick up but if in the forest we have the 'stick and flick' approach) but it's really inevitable to feel the way we do at first... it's normal!

Boynamedsue · 06/06/2017 22:06

It gets easier I promise. She'll get more confident when she realises you're always coming home.

Its a big change for them, and you! But you'll all get used to each other and wonder what you ever did before!

bluetongue · 06/06/2017 22:31

I'm where you are at be moment. Apparently it's very common. I just feel the heavy weight of responsibility on my shoulders and wonder if I'm cut out for dog ownership.Trying to take it one day at a time but it's not easy.

Wolfiefan · 06/06/2017 22:38

Yep. It's normal! Well it was for me. I got so anxious when we brought my much longed for baby puppy home that I hardly ate for weeks. Sooooo not like me!
She had separation anxiety and cried and cried if left for a moment. I had to start by literally walking out the room and straight back in.
She's heading for 9 months. Much more settled and happy to be left.
Is she the beautiful black girl?! I do love a hound!

pigsDOfly · 06/06/2017 23:02

Oh yes it's perfectly normal. As pp said they are completely reliant on you and it's such a change for you from your pre dog days.

My dog has been unwell recently and been on medication for some time, coming out of it now thank goodness, but I'm still watching her every move. I worry if she seems a bit quiet for too long, or a bit restless and unsettled, I worry if she doesn't seem to be eating much, but she's never had a big appetite and I know she's picky, and so the list goes on.

Having said that, she's such a joyful, happy little dog and gives me so much joy. I wouldn't change anything.

Original poster
Flippetydip · 07/06/2017 06:42

Thank you so much everyone. That has made me feel a little better - although I've still woken up this morning with that churning anxious feeling.

bluetongue that's exactly how I feel - the heavy weight of responsibility and wondering if a. I'm not cut out for dog ownership and b. I made a massive mistake.

It doesn't help that it was me that really pushed this - DH was take it or leave it. Anyway, onwards and upwards.

OP posts:
BiteyShark · 07/06/2017 06:52

Flippetydip same here, I really wanted the dog as a companion but DH wouldn't have got one had it not been for me. However, 6 months on and DH now bloody loves him and says it the best thing we did and looks forward to his greeting everyday when he gets up or comes home from work.

Wolfiefan · 07/06/2017 07:56

Oh me too! Dog was completely and utterly my idea. DH loves her but she's my responsibility.
We need the puppy equivalent of midwife and health visitor visits and NCT classes to prepare! I'm doing new parent classes AKA puppy training!
Blue. DH has been away for over a week. Actually fear big pup's greeting may take him off his feet later! Shock

Boynamedsue · 07/06/2017 08:03

Same here! Ddog was a mutual decision but it was my idea and me who really wanted him. Now he and DH are inseparable, he absolutely adores him.

tigerdog · 07/06/2017 08:28

I could have written that post when we first got our retired greyhound! It didn't help that I was feeling anxious in myself about ttc and I projected all that on the poor creature.

The first week was awful - she really didn't settle and howled when we went out. Puddles galore too. We wondered if we'd done the right thing many times. Thankfully it didn't take much longer for her to slot into our routine and she really is an easy dog now.

I hadn't anticipated the feeling that ddog and I were two strangers who needed to get to know each other. I was ready to love her immediately but she needed time to trust us and get used to the upheaval. It took her a while to be anything other than indifferent towards us, and I found that quite hard!

Original poster
Flippetydip · 07/06/2017 09:25

Thank you all SO much. Wolfie - yes she's the gorgeous black creature! And she is gorgeous but as tiger said, we are basically strangers. I recorded her this morning when we went out for school run and she was fine :) I gave her a Kong before we left and she has now got the sofa too so that may help.

I'm just dreading the days when we need to go out for longer. Tiger how long did yours take before she was OK being left - did she just get used to it?

OP posts:
tigerdog · 07/06/2017 10:28

It took about 2 weeks. We couldn't build up to it slowly as we had to go to work. The neighbours said she howled non stop for the first two days from the minute we left. Third day, she stopped.

We were very honest when adopting her about working full time and having to pop back at lunch time, and the RGT said that should be ok, but I was very worried about it. At the kennels, they leave them from 4pm until the next morning, so they are used to being left, but the main difference is the company of other greyhounds.

Now she is fine - we had to give up on the neighbours popping in to see to her at lunch, as she would refuse to get up and go out.

If we're leaving her for a day (which is only once or twice a week now as I work from home mostly) then we take her for a long walk, lots of opportunity to toilet, and then leave her with a kong to play with. We also used to give her a bamboo roller as well, which she would chase around the kitchen, and that exhausted her, but she can't be bothered with that now - she's become less food motivated now that she's spoiled rotten. She sleeps all day, changing beds about half way through the day and that is pretty much the only movement!

Original poster
Flippetydip · 07/06/2017 10:45

tiger that's really reassuring thanks so much. We will only leave her about 4 times a month as I mostly work from home - my problem is that she will never get used to being left but I'll keep trying to nip out during the day so she gets used to us coming back.

OP posts:
tigerdog · 07/06/2017 11:07

The advice is definitely to build them up to being left, so nipping out when you can would make sense. If you leave her daily for the school run, then that sounds like a good start. An adaptil plug in might help calm her too, it seemed to work for ours when we first got her.

Good luck! Keep us posted as to how you get on. My main issue these days is that I continually think about getting a second one but my DH won't agree to it!

Wolfiefan · 07/06/2017 11:49

@Flippetydip
Come and join us on the puppy survival thread (number two I think!) I know she's not a baby but she's certainly your new addition. Might be nice to hear other's ups and downs?

Original poster
Flippetydip · 07/06/2017 11:57

OK wolfie I might just do that - although not a baby at nearly 3 but new to us. Thank you.

OP posts:
burdog · 07/06/2017 15:42

I felt very, very anxious at the beginning. There are a lot of strong opinions about how to train and raise a puppy. It passes when I realised how robust DDog actually is.

Original poster
Flippetydip · 13/06/2017 11:48

I think we're getting there. I feel a lot less anxious, DH is totally bonded, the kids love her, she is very settled on our sofa.

Still haven't really started training with the recall but she has partially mastered "wait" - which I'm trying to instil by the front door so that she doesn't bolt out of it if it's ever left accidently open.

Very early days still but feeling a lot more positive than this time last week. Thanks for all your reassurances.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread