slight puppy regret and I feel awful for it

[ladybella]

I guess the title explains it really, we've had our cocker pup for nearly five months now and I'm really starting to regret getting her and I feel awful for feeling this way about the situation!
Everything's she's doing I totally expected; chewing things, being a little snappy with our young boy (mainly playfully and never left alone together) having little accidents when left alone etc, the usual puppy things. What I didn't expect is just how much I'm not coping with it all. She was very much wanted and thought about, and like I say I expected it be be hard but I just feel like I can't deal with it and the extra responsibilities that come along with her, along with a toddler and recent depression diagnosis.
She's well looked after, walked regularly, lots of play time, but she's just such a handful and I recently had to bring her with me to my family members house for a weekend and I was in tears a lot of the time because of her/not being able to cope.
I'm not really sure what I'm hoping for by posting this here, maybe advice and some one to tell me it'll get easier, or to hear from someone who's been in a similar situation who's given their puppy to a good home??
Please be kind, I'm already feeling awful about all of this!

YY join the group Bagel suggests.
Crate at night. We offer stuffed and frozen Kong, frozen carrots and nylabones for chewing.
We crate at night and for naps. Puppies chew. They do chew. The issue isn't the chewing it's the fact puppy doesn't know what it is and isn't allowed to chew. So if to you aren't there to stop undesirable chewing then crate or playpen is the way forward.
I get it OP I really do. There may have been a time I was sitting on the floor with my puppy in my arms saying "you'd go back if only I didn't bloody love you so much!"

We got a cocker pup and a visla on the same day (same breeder, born 2 days apart). The visla got 'it' (ie everything) straight away. The cocker didn't. I think they are very headstrong dogs.

You've had brilliant advice here, but I'd also agree with the crate. You have to be able to leave her sometimes, knowing that you'll both be safe and in one piece (her, your house, your nerves). We had one with the bed in, door open all the time, except for the short periods we had to leave them, and from last thing at night to first wee.

She will cry though.

The crate was their 'safe place' away from our hands-on kids, and now coming up to 6, they have a whole room to themselves, with a baby gate across, for the times when we have to leave them. I would have gone spare if they were 'loose' when I was out! My cocker still 'protest wees' usually by the open back door, but I didn't train him properly (he was sooo cute), and I accept this is all my own fault!

Good luck. It really does get better.

Another vote for crate training. Never as a punishment. Aiming for it to be a lovely safe wonderful place where your puppy can go, not just at bedtime, but following a tiring walk or boisterous play session ... or even for short periods of time, to give you a break or when you're busy!

Then if you have to leave her for a while, her crate's a good place for her to be. If you stay at someone else's house, you take the crate too, so your pup doesn't get under everyone's feet and you (and she) don't get stressed.

If you crate train and your dog ever has an injury or illness that demands complete rest and restricted movement, your dog won't have the added stress of being unused to a crate. Dogs that are already happily and securely crate trained do better than those that aren't, if they ever need such confinement for medical reasons.

The big bonus? Crate trained dogs rarely urinate/mess in their own crate ... so when you take your pup out of the crate, you also take it straight out to the garden to relieve itself. Easy house training!

I remember getting my border collie at 8 weeks and it just got harder and harder and everyone kept telling me how easy to train they are and how intelligent they are but he brought me to tears and I was exhausted for months with cushions and table legs destroyed.

He's now 5 years old and perfect, when left alone I'm pretty sure he reads a book or does Pilates- not a cushion moved.

Similar story with a Rottie- nightmare chewer and wouldn't house train- with him everyone told me I wouldn't cope with him and I nearly didn't but now he's a dream.

It gets A LOT better and crate training is the way to go in my opinion.

I have to say, crate training is the best way to train dogs. Growing up, I read many dog books, and they all said the same thing for potty training...crate train! Both my dogs were put into the crate when left alone in the house or at night. Both were happy to go in and even when they were fully potty trained, we kept the crate w their bed inside and the door open, they would just go in and sleep whenever they felt like it (they also had beds outside of the crate and were allowed upstairs in all the beds in fact :-) But sometimes, they just wanted to be in the crate. I guess for some quiet time or feeling of their own space. But of course with crate training, you must always make sure you do not put them in too much. For example, during the day they shouldn't be left in there for hours. Make sure they get plenty of attention and exercise. I thought with dogs, you take them out several times a day and also especially after a meal, they usually always poo (kind of like my kids!). So perhaps, keep your dog on a schedule. Feed your dog the same time every day. Not sure if you feed once or twice a day. But anyway, growing up my dogs were fed twice a day and always pooped after so we would make sure to take them out after. And if you find your dog is going pee too much in the house, don't leave the water out all day long perhaps until the dog is trained. Let the dog have opportunity to drink water a few times a day, when you will be able to take her out. But for example, don't let her have tons of water late at night. Its the same when my kids first started to potty train, I would not let them have as much water as they wanted before bed, bc I knew they would wet the bed if they had too much.

Good luck with it and I hope things get easier! We are planning to get a dog in a year...I am hoping I get lucky again with the crate training.