Dog issue due to relationship split

[Hotwaterbottle1]

Please help or advise I'm so upset.

Marriage been on rocks for a couple of years, had the conversation last April re splitting, told kids in August. He has been very very difficult about moving out but finally gets flat keys in April.

We have had our rescue dog for 3 years now. I love her, like a child. She is amazing. Very laid back, happy, loving. I work part-time and walk her in morning before work, out in generous garden after work & then work then ex was walking her at night or one of kids in spring/summer. Last 6 months ex has barely walked her, no reason why, but then he has been an arse about housework etc too.

We have a written legal agreement that he takes the dog when he sees the children i.e. Eow and some nights during the week. However don't think his new place allows dogs as such & its top floor. She is a very quiet dog though, seldom barks so not likely to upset neighbors.

She does not do well though if left alone at nights for too long & will howl.

What I'm stressing about is if he doesn't take her, I will be stuck at home, literally all the time. I have a new romance but it's long distance and see him every two weeks for the weekend. I can't give that up.

I feel torn. She is my third child. What can I do?

www.borrowmydoggy.com/

Glad to hear you're not considering rehoming. It didn't come across like that at all in your posts - you said you were 'torn' between dog and new relationship. So you can't be surprised how it was interpreted.

It is sad that your ex hasn't found a dog-friendly flat. But this is often how it goes after a split - joint custody of a pet rarely works out, so one person has to step up. Just like you would if it was the dc he was refusing to take responsibility for.

I definitely think your new bf should be visiting you half the time. It seems very unfair and one-sided if it's always you travelling to him. The money you save on rail costs by sharing this could be put towards boarding/sitter/motorway lessons etc.

I hope you find a solution that works for you OP.

That's ok, I worded it badly.

Have joined borrow my doggy.

I am meeting my new bf here but not in my home as the kids have not met him so I'm not keen on that so meeting in an Airbnb mostly.

He pays half my train fare when I travel to his

Ah I see. Well presumably if the relationship works out you will eventually be having him over you yours, or even one of you moving closer to the other. So fingers crossed the problem is relatively short term. Good luck with borrow my doggy.

Lots of Airbnb places take dogs too if that helps.

I can understand you being nonplussed at your ex not having responsibility for the dog anymore but it actually might be a blessing in disguise. No future arguments about dog ownership etc, she's yours!

Thanks all, my anxiety was through the roof yesterday, couldn't see the wood for the trees. Now feel like it's going to be ok.

Meeting someone through borrow my dog (feels like a date lol).

I did take her to lakes when I went for the weekend with new guy & he fell in love with her too so he passed that test 😉