my old dog - please help me work out when enough is enough

[everymummy]

I have an elderly dog. He's nearly 14, weighs about 48 kilos and has terrible arthiritis in his back legs. He's getting weaker and can't manage the stairs so has to stay in the basement, which is our kitchen.

To get outside, he has to climb up the back steps which are steep and uneven. This morning I took him out and he fell up the steps, I picked him up (he wears a harness to help me support him) but he was quite upset and kept trying to get back down. Increasingly he doesn't want to go out because he remembers the steps until he's desperate. He won't wee on the patio.

He's eating and wagging his tail though - a tough old thing (mastiff pitbull staffie cross).

When I got him out this morning he was very slow, lay down on the pavement several times and flopped on his side when I tried to get him up.

Really I think he can't live with so little mobility although his heart is strong and he clearly enjoys lots of part of his life.

He has antiinflammatories, supplements, raw food diet. I don't know what to do

I'm very sorry for everyone facing this tough time.

I just wanted to say though that some old dogs can keep wagging their tails even when they are in a lot of pain/at the end. Our childhood lab was like this - she had very bad arthritis in her back legs and difficulty walking plus some breathing difficulties. The lack of strength and loss of independence when she couldn't always get where she wanted, would fall and get stuck on the floor, was very hard to see - but she still kept wagging her tail, right until the moment she was PTS. Yet I know she was in a lot of pain, despite pain relief etc. and had no real quality of life. My dad ( son of a vet, with a house full of animals!) couldn't bring himself to get her PTS. I remember very clearly even as a child how wrong this seemed to me ( although easier to understand as an adult!) and one of his reasons was she was still wagging her tail. He did take her in the end, but I think a few weeks too late. We've had lots of dogs since where he found the decision much easier but I suspect she was 'the one' for him.

murphys he sounds like a wonderful dog. Would you like to put a pic up? Here is my old boy, taken a few weeks ago.

everymummy What a beautiful boy you have. He looks so big and strong in that photo so I can imagine it is so hard seeing him grow old. He's such a handsome chap.

Please don't leave it too late - even a day too late - I did, once, with one pet, and it was a lesson well learned. I've never done it since.

Let him go before he is in pain or distress, it's the last kindness we can do for them, keeping them hanging on is catering to our need for them, not their need for a pain free end.

The fact you are asking the question would indicate to me that it's probably time. You are already concerned about his quality of life.

Stay with him if you can, reasuure him. It's usually very peaceful and a gentle way to go.

Don't want to hijack the thread but came on to ask the same thing.

He's old. Probably 14/15. Had him from the rspca and they aged him at 5. Doesn't appear to be in any pain. He's eating, and will walk. But he's eating more and more of his own faeces and struggles getting up and down to stand and lie. Walks are very minimal now, less that 10 mins each. He has always kept a tidy bed area but his bowel control isn't what it used to be and he's going very often in the house.

I don't think he's at the end of the road, or is that me being hopeful? I assumed I'd know. Not so sure now.

Any dog that is struggling to walk/reluctant to walk is in pain - that's why they're reluctant. These ARE signs of pain.

Sadly if dogs have a painful stumble or fall, this can create anxiety and fear of the pain which can then also manifest as a reluctance to go outside/climb stairs etc.

It sounds as if the dogs mentioned in this thread have had great lives with wonderful owners - 14 is an amazing age for such a big mastiff-type!

But think about all of the things your dogs loved to do: ball games, chasing rabbits, running around with friends, hopping on the sofa...
How much of that can he still enjoy? His wants and desires haven't changed, but pain will be restricting his life. You have to weigh up whether the good bits outweigh this or not.

Many dogs will ALWAYS wag their tails - they love you, they live to please you, and your touch is a delight. But is it enough to sustain them?

My experience is that owners grieve for their beloved dogs, but more so if they feel they've done too little, too late. Euthanasia is an awful burden of a decision, but it's also your kindest gift. Plan it well, keep it calm and peaceful. Don't wait for an emergency to strike.
to you all

Xmasfairy I do not think dogs like to lose bowel control. When they are well they try so hard to get out. If your dog has dementia and does not realise it will not be so bad, but in all honesty I do think you should start to get ready to let him go,

I think we're coming round to the idea kindDogs. DP bought it up earlier and I said I had thought about it to. Then I started researching the process and started bawling 😭😭 he does my head in but he's my baby. My very hairy baby.

He's never been a ball chaser. Or one to play really. He used to rough house with my DP when he was younger. And he LOVED the snow. Shame we haven't had any yet where we are as he'd like that.

Here he is...

Thank you every, and thinking of you also, as well as everyone else here in the same situation.

We have decided to say goodbye to our beloved ddog boy next week. The dc are away with their dad and they need to say goodbye to him too, otherwise they will never find the closure that they need to. Especially my ds, as this beautiful soul saved him from a vicious dog attack years ago. Ds was walking him one afternoon and a Rottweiler appeared out of nowhere in attack mode and went for ds. So this brave Labrador boy put himself in the middle of them and took the brunt of the attack, until the owners of the house outside where it happened, came running out with brooms and a spade to fight off the Rottweiler for him. I truly believe that he saved ds's life that day. Ddoggie spend a week in the vets with 40 stitches, drains etc. He has been a best friend, always happy to see me when I have had a shit day, and just seeing him always just instantly cheered me up.

I am going to miss him so so much. He is taking a piece of my heart with him. I don't even want to think about that day next week. I am so sad already.

Here is my beautiful boy. He will be running like he loved to, very soon again.

He is singing with me in this picture.

So glad to hear your boy has perked up. I was in the same situation as you for a long time - despite being unable to walk my dog was still playing tug, going for walks via the harness/trolley, weekly hydrotherapy, wagging her tail and ruling the house from her bed. She'd dip for a few days and dh and I 'would have the chat' and then she'd rally back. It was hard work but even after reading everyone's opinion I still think I did right by keeping her going - I lived with her and she loved being alive. In the end she got a bout of pancreatitis (if you feed raw, keep an eye on the fat levels). One thing I did want to share with you however was that a different vet put her on a drug called PLT - it's an anti-inflammatory and a mild steroid - but at this stage of their lives the long term effects are not really relevant. It really helped, made her stronger and she looked better than ever for her final year. It's a bit old fashioned aparantly but it really worked - she was on Previcox previously.

We are on the last day with our beloved lab. It's kind of out of the blue. We discovered he had serious heart problems in the summer so although he responded amazingly to the medication, we knew his days were numbered. But he was on great form till Wednesday and then just a bit under the weather. I was away for the weekend and DH called yesterday to see he was in hospital. He is still quite perky and enjoying his food but the vets said it can't be more than a few days and he won't be able to get up and down the stairs at our flat, so we've decided to end it with dignity today. We're on our way on the beach for a final outing. I'm in the car with him whilst DH and DC are in the supermarket buying him loads of treats, and then we're heading off for one last walk. Then back to the vets.

It's so hard. I'm agonising over whether this is the right decision, but if he can't come home and can't last more than a few days, gradually deteriorating, it doesn't seem right to keep him going. I think I might waver but DH is adamant this is the right thing - we kept our poor old cat going far too long and he's desperate to about that - and I'm grateful for his certainty.

Poor old thing - he's only 10 but if the heart gives out, what can you do.

Any advice about the kids if anyone reads this in time? We're thinking that I will take the kids directly home from the beach on the bus whilst DH takes the dog to the vets - thinking that it would be too hard to them to watch him go through it. Hate to leave DH to face it on his own but also feel that it is essentially for the kids to be with one of us and not left with friends. Or should we take them along? I think it could be too traumatic. They are 8 and 10 and adore the dog. Really want to make this is untraumatic as possible for them. At the moment they seem upset but ok. We have been v open with them about what's happening.

I'm sorry but it sounds like your dog is in pain. His situation is only going to get worse not better. I think if he was mine id have to put him to sleep while he still had a slight quality of life and not wait until he had none at all. Tail wagging is not always happy. Look at an unconfident or unhappy dog. They will wag as well. The dog has no concept of the future. He doesn't know he might have been able to struggle on for another couple of weeks. He's already falling over and cannot get up by himself and doesnt want to go outside because of remembered pain.

Every your old boy is beautiful.

I had a thread on the litter tray a few weeks ago which goes into more detail, my mam left it to late with one of her older cats and really regrets it.

I think the saying is "better a week to early then a day too late"

I'm very sorry your at this point, they break our hearts when they leave us.

I lost my old boy 18 months ago I'm still not over it.

iismum and murphys my heart goes out to you both. But good on you, for putting your lovely dogs' welfare above your own feelings. I'll be thinking of you both.

Sorry posted to soon,

for anyone who's had to or will have to make this decision.

My mam always says that PTS and letting them go peacefully is the last kind act you can ever do for them.

ilismum I've taken my children with me from an early age. I've always told them that It's part of the deal in loving and looking after a pet to be with them at the end, particularly if there is a strong bond. When my dd was 7 she held the head of her beloved ddog as she died. She stayed calm and strong for the dog and we all had a good cry when it was over. She would have been devastated not to be with her when she died.

Why not ask your children what they want to do? You may do more harm keeping them away.

My dc knew that if they did not stay calm and offer the pet words of comfort then they would have to wait outside. . I want them to be responsible pet owners in the future, they have to know how to deal with endings as well as cute puppies and kittens. If one dc wants to be there and the other not - then that's ok too. Mine didn't always choose to come.

It's generally very peaceful and gentle, and the dog is reassured by having family there. I think we will be making a similar journey this week

Joffrey so sorry to hear about your upsetting experience. I'm a doctor and I wanted to reassure you that people are not properly conscious or aware of their surroundings when they have agonal breathing. One of the reasons it happens is that the brain is shutting down and no longer telling the lungs to breathe. The thinking parts of the brain shut down before this happens. I'm sure it must be the same in animals. So please don't worry that your lovely dog was suffering.

Euthanizing a poorly or geriatric dog is the last and kindest act a loving owner can do for their beloved pet, Do not allow yourself to think of your grief. I have had to do it, twice. I held them close as the injection was administered, and felt them slip. And sobbed for myself, not them. One was aged, the other very suddenly stricken. Heartbroken both times, but it was the right thing to do as in neither case was there a chance of recovery. It is bleak.

The best pieice of advice I was given was 'better a day too soon than a minute too late'.

I have read this thread with interest and would really appreciate some advice/thoughts.

Firstly though, my condolences to everyone else going through this.

I have a predicament. My dog is only 8 years old. She suffered Glaucoma when she was 3 years old, and after treating the "bad" eye with multiple drops a day for 18 months, she had to have that eye removed. We were told that the other "good" eye would probably also go blind within 18-36 months.

Well, her remaining eye was perfect for a further 4.5 years! But, on 22nd December she walked in to a wall, and we knew something was wrong. We got her to the vets and the pressure in her eye was 57 (needs to be below 25), so she was hospitalised. She came home a few days later, and amazingly a week later had her sight back! Felt truly blessed!

She was placed on a treatment plan of about 11 drops a day. With a plan to gradually decrease this, as things stabalised.

Anyway, since then she's had 2 more relapses. She has been admitted again tonight, to be placed on 2 IV drips. One reduces the pressure in the eye, the other hydrates her organs.

So, this is her 3rd admission and hooking up to IV's, since 22nd December. I have to call tomorrow for an update, but the vet says that with 3 admissions in 6 weeks, the prognosis for the eye doesn't look good.

I am not sure that I can see her with two sewn up eye sockets! It feels cruel. She is a magnificent beast, a black and white husky with bright blue eyes. She's a real hunter. When she is blind, she bumps into stuff, can't be let off to run around/chase a ball. But she does manage some stuff ok.

We have no idea what to do. DH will be home about 730pm and we will talk then. Do we remove the eye and she will be blind now (well, she'll be blind anyway, I think, but removing the eye means she won't be subjected to all this prodding and poking), or do we PTS?

I don't want to think about it, but I think she is going through too much right now.

I would hate to be the person who decides, but my instinct says PTS. Lovingly, and in your arms, but PTS. In the wild, your beloved dog wouldn't live long; you can prolong life for ages, but why do it? It's subjecting your lovely dog to stresses it can't understand, and for no reason except that as the human you can decree medical attention. There is a natural life span; it isn't always long. You'll get people disagreeing with me. HTH.

A ramp for the stairs?

Hi everyone,

I haven't been back to this post for a few days. every been thinking of you and everyone else on this thread. Husky did you chat with your dh last night?

I wasn't ready to come back to post here, until today. On Friday, we said goodbye for the last time to my beloved boy, who would have turned 11 this month. He didn't quite make his birthday.

He had a cruciate ligament rupture, severe arthritis and was beginning to lose his teeth, think that might have been a side affect of all the medication. I think Tuesday or Wednesday probably would have been better for him, but I did have to think of the dc, who wouldn't have been able to say goodbye to him properly, being school etc. So we took him on Friday afternoon. He was so spoiled those last few days, we bought him every (soft) treat we knew he loved, he had a new blanket to lie on his bed for the last few days, and we just showered him with love and attention every minute that we could. It seems he had been on a diet for at least half his life, being a Labrador, he seemed to put on a kg for every morsel he picked up off the floor. So he got treats, even a hamburger.

I have cried for days, today I am able to talk about him without crying, for the first time. We knew it was the right decision, as I kept doubting myself, but when our vet agreed that it was probably the kindness decision. But, it doesn't make it easier.

I think he knew. He was trying to get into any car for days when I took him out for a wee. I had to support him to walk as he wasn't steady on his legs the last few days. He sort of gave me the look when he had to get up one step to go into the kitchen, sort of "you know I can do this, but I will just wait here for you to help me"...

This is the hardest part, but I want to share so for those of you who are facing this. We carried him into the vets, lay him on the table. He just lay there peacefully and stared into my eyes, but not a scared look, a peaceful one. As they injected him, he kept looking right into my eyes as I spoke to him and told him that I loved him, then he just closed his eyes... and just like that, like he was sleeping, he was gone. Not even a movement, a shudder, not a sign that he was suffering in any way.

He took a big chunk of my heart with him, we have been through a lot together. All my drama in my life, he was the one that sat with my while I cried, gave me the wet sloppy kisses when he knew I needed them.

But now he is pain free, and I am sure will be watching over us still.

Some people really just do not understand how much losing your furry family member hurts. So I am very grateful to have this spot to share, as I know many of you understand. My dc and I are grieving. But I know each day will get a little easier.

I know its not the done thing on here, but my heart goes out to everyone who is in the same situation. Sorry about hijacking your post every

murphys that really touched my heart and I look at my puppy and know I would be heartbroken making the same decision but as a dog owner you know that you have to do the right thing by them even if that means to PTS.

for you and everyone else going through the same thing.