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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Original poster

Should we get a dog?

39 replies

stumblymonkey · 10/12/2016 16:11

DP and I both love dogs and were brought up around dogs but are in a disagreement about whether now is the right time to get a dog so we are looking for opinions...

I'm going to try to keep to facts as much as possible so as not to introduce any bias!

  • We earn quite a lot more than average salaries
  • We would like to save more though, to do this I need to cut back spending on random gadgets and clothes, etc
  • We live in a big house
  • The house is rented, we would be going against the terms of the tenancy
  • The property is inspected for about ten minutes every six months with a month's forward notice, one of us believes there is no harm in removing the dogs things for that Inspection as long as we keep the home to a good standard that's all that really matters
  • At the moment I work from home one or two days a week and DP has a job as a PT which means he can be relatively flexible with hours so someone would be home all or part of most days
  • The person who wants the dog says any days that we aren't home enough we would pay for dog walking and company or dog crèche
  • We have no children but are planning to start TTC towards the end of next year
  • We have four cats, two older cats and two four month old kittens
  • The kittens would likely take to a dog as they are young enough to just accept it
  • The two older cats will probably hate the dog at least to begin with

One of us thinks this is the perfect time to get a dog as the younger cats will integrate with it well while they're young and would desperately like a dog and would like it to be settled before we have children.

One of us thinks now is not a good time to have a dog as the two older cats are only just acclimatising to the kittens and thinks we should wait until we have older children (so maybe ten years down the line.

Thoughts? Opinions? WWYD?

OP posts:
Pointeshoes · 10/12/2016 16:13

Nope

Floralnomad · 10/12/2016 16:18

Speak to your landlord and then look at it again when you are actually in a position to do it .

GeorgeTheThird · 10/12/2016 16:19

I think it's better to get a dog once any future babies have grown past the toddler stage.

TrionicLettuce · 10/12/2016 16:20

The house is rented, we would be going against the terms of the tenancy

For this reason alone I'd say no, it's not the right time.

It's not worth taking the risk as what happens to the dog if the landlord finds out and objects?

There's also the issue that no reputable rescue or breeder would be happy for you to have a dog/puppy unless you lie to them about your living situation, which just isn't fair.

The cats may also be a stumbling block, especially if the older ones aren't likely to be happy with the addition of a dog.

mmmuffins · 10/12/2016 16:22

The main negatives to me are that its against your tenancy, and you have two older cats.

I got a puppy the same week as my BFP and it has been hard going but not unmanageable. However, if we could go back we wouldnt get a dog.

So, I would say you would certainly be making life much more difficult for yourselves by seeing two cats into old age, getting a dog, and doing pregnancy/young children all at the same time.

Original poster
stumblymonkey · 10/12/2016 16:29

Just to note our 'older' cats are only four years old

Sigh....this means no dog for years, very unlikely to have our own home any time soon and if the cats are a stumbling block then it could be 20 years before the kittens have passed Sad

OP posts:
Blackbird82 · 10/12/2016 16:36

You need to be cautious about the implications on your tenancy. But, you could quite easily hide the fact you have a dog if it's only every 6 months.

The bigger issue for me is the fact you don't have kids yet but intend to in the near future. Trust me, a baby will completely take over your life. A dog might be a welcome distraction OR it could become a massive burden.

I have five dogs, they were all around pre child. It's been tough going and I literally ran myself into the ground caring for a baby and the dogs. However one dog is manageable as long as you're 100% into your dog and don't see caring for it as a chore. The fact that you've both had dogs before is a very good thing, you know what you're potentially getting into.

If you go ahead, just make sure you go for a breed that's not massively high maintenance and kid friendly. I have Labs, they are perfect imo!

Original poster
stumblymonkey · 10/12/2016 16:38

Yes, it would be a lab that we would be looking for as they would be the perfect breed - no hint instinct for the cats, child friendly, etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
stumblymonkey · 10/12/2016 16:39

*hunt not hint

OP posts:
Blackbird82 · 10/12/2016 16:42

I'm sure the cats will adjust. The pup will be bouncy and annoying but they'll give it a few whacks on the nose and it'll soon learn!

TheMortificadosDragon · 10/12/2016 16:42

You might be able to hide the dog during inspections but you seriously think you would eliminate all the hair and smell of a lab?

Blackbird82 · 10/12/2016 16:44

They easily could. My house doesn't stink even with five of them and there is surprisingly little hair - although I do hoover and sweep a LOT! besides any hair could be blamed on the cats Grin

Kidnapped · 10/12/2016 16:45

No. Your landlord doesn't allow it. If you ask and the landlord says no then that is the end of it.

The brown grass outside will be an indicator to the landlord that you have a dog. And there is no hiding labrador hair in a house, it gets everywhere. And then he might serve notice on you and you'll find it hard to get another place with a dog and four cats.

If you both earn quite a bit more than average salaries, then why can't you save a deposit? Are you in an expensive part of the country?

TrionicLettuce · 10/12/2016 16:49

Leaving aside your tenancy issues, it's not having cats in general that would be the issue but the fact you say your older ones would likely not take kindly to having a dog around.

Bear in mind that labs can actually have fairly high prey drive. The retrieve behaviour they've been bred for is part of the natural predatory sequence (as are pretty much all the behaviours we've bred dogs for over the years) and although the instinct to retrieve may be the strongest part of that sequence in a lab the rest will still be there as well. It's not a case of labs being a good choice with other pets because they have no prey drive but because they're generally gregarious and highly trainable.

Blackbird82 · 10/12/2016 16:50

I'm sorry but I really don't agree re the hair. Unless your LL is going around with a magnifying glass inspecting every nook and cranny then you could easily get the place hair free for a 6 monthly inspection.

Re the brown grass, it tends to be bitches urine that does this. My male dog never left patches (I had him before the girls) plus the cock on plants, walls, fences whereas bitches squat and leave a puddle.

But I do agree you need to be careful in any case because you don't want to be served notice IF he finds out

Original poster
stumblymonkey · 10/12/2016 16:58

They don't even go into the garden when they do the property inspection (it's really very cursory).

I suppose I just feel we're in a situation where we have a dog now or not for a long time (10 years plus)....at the moment DP isn't working and while he will start to take clients on from Jan he could keep that limited so the dog is not on its own for very long, he can even take the dog to work with him.

Whereas fast forward six months and it he'll have built up more clients so it wouldn't be a great time to take on a pup plus we'd have to integrate a dog with four older cats as the kittens will have grown, etc.

Re: house deposit...we live in a very expensive area (Surrey) and I'm a horrible spendthrift (to be worked upon in the new year) so we only have half a deposit at the moment. Also by the time we get a house we'll have (hopefully) small children and I feel I either want a dog that's over the adolescent stage by then or we wait until the make believe children are older...

OP posts:
Sipperskipper · 10/12/2016 17:03

Cats wouldn't always be an issue - we got our dog when our 2 cars were a year old. They love each other.

Main issue is going against ter.s of your tenancy- if landlord found out and objected you would either have to move (to a dog friendly property) or rehome the dog (very unfair). No way I would consider this unless in suitable accomodation.

TheMortificadosDragon · 10/12/2016 17:20

But if you start looking for a reputable breeder now, it'll be months before you can get a pup anyway, won't it - so your plans based on ok now but not in 6 months time make no sense.

If you were thinking that you can decide this week and just go and get a puppy in December of all times then absolutely not, no way!

Costacoffeeplease · 10/12/2016 17:29

No, for all the reasons already stated

Totally irresponsible to go against the terms of your lease
You probably wouldn't get a lab pup from a responsible breeder within the next 6 months or so
Your husband will then have more clients
And you will be TTC

Utter madness

Moanranger · 10/12/2016 23:30

My concern would be your plan to have DCs. Better to get a dog after DCs are a bit older. There is a risk with dogs & small children & they are really not compatible. Also, the dog could get neglected while DCs are small. Trust me, you have NO IDEA how much work babies & toddlers are, you will never be so tired.
My last dog was put up for adoption from his original home when the mum got pregnant with her second child; it was another year plus before my dog found a happy home with me & went through some miserable times in the interim.

Original poster
stumblymonkey · 11/12/2016 15:34

No, not planning to decide this week and pick one up (we're away after Xmas for a start). We've been thinking about this on and off for a long, long time (years).

I do see the point with the tenancy of course (we would have to move if they found out and objected, as I would never, ever re-home one of my pets - they are family and I would never get a pet without making a commitment to them for the rest of their lives).

I'm not sure I agree on the points about not having a dog when we're planning to TTC in 12-18 months time. Lots of people I know have had a dog before children, I realise it's extra work but DP will be a SAHD so it's not as if we'll both be working and trying to do childcare and pet care.

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 11/12/2016 20:34

You say you would move not rehome , well if it's so easy to find a rental that will accept pets then why not just find one first .

Original poster
stumblymonkey · 11/12/2016 21:16

Because we only moved here in May and I really don't fancy the expense and hassle of moving again a year later unless I absolutely have to (have no other choice for example).

OP posts:
TheMortificadosDragon · 11/12/2016 21:30

In that case, I really think you shouldn't do it - I don't think its ok to deceive your landlord anyway, but if you've not been there that long he probably wouldn't be lenient (house training a puppy in a place which isnt meant to have a dog really is taking the piss) and finding any rental house, let alone a nice large one, which will take several cats and a notoriously sheddy, niffy young dog would not be easy.

Original poster
stumblymonkey · 11/12/2016 22:15

I don't really see us having a dog for ten years or so then....which sort of breaks my heart Sad

OP posts:
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