Dog on The Bed

[talksensetome]

I have a two and a half year old American bulldog. I have know the dog for 6 months, he has stayed in my home regularly during that time and he is fine with my children, I have owned him for about 5 weeks.

When he used to stay over he wasn't allowed upstairs at all. However since I have owned him he has started sleeping on my bed with me and my 4 year old. The 4 year old doesn't sleep there every night, just most nights.

A woman I know trains dogs for a living, she trains them for security and police so knows what she is talking about. She has told me to stop letting the dog sleep on the bed because if he gets possessive of the bed he could bite my child when if he tries to get on. She said that is worst case scenario of course but why would I risk it, he is a dog and shouldn't be allowed up the stairs never mind in the bed.

Now I am obviously not one to get hysterical about certain dog breeds but he is a big boy and could potentially do some damage if he wanted to. I never leave the dog and the kids alone together (dog follows me everywhere I go anyway)

So do you let your dog on the bed or is this woman right? I have only let it play on mind because she is a very experienced dog handler.

It's great that you've listened to what people have advised. It's more about him being woken up unexpectedly (by your child having a nightmare, being ill, fireworks - could be anything) and being startled into behaving as he would not normally do.

I'm sure you'll have a hell of a lot more space if he sleeps elsewhere!

That's a certainty Bagel I might try training the boy to sleep in his own bed too. A bed all to myself is what dreams are made of.
Well the dog slept downstairs on the sofa however I think it defeated the object because I also slept downstairs as I had guests so I took the sofa.
I woke up at 2am with dead legs and pretty squashed!
Dog tends to sleep where I sleep so when I slept in the boys room so did Dog, when I sleep on the sofa so does dog, when I sleep in the big bed so does dog.
I can see me and him both sleeping in the dog bed

Cheeky boy didn't even stay at my feet.

Want to see a pic of you and him in dog bed

Have you still got any stair gates you could put up to stop him coming upstairs (when you get your bed back). It might take a few days of training, but I'm sure you'll manage it.

Does he have a bit of separation anxiety perhaps? What's he like if he's left alone during the day?

Haha I will post one up if it comes to it. Good Job I am so small.

Well at first he was OK but he hasn't been left alone really for a few weeks now as my sister and her partner have been around when I have been at work.

I did go to out leaving him alone for half an hour on Saturday and he was barking and crying when I got back so yes I do think he has separation anxiety. That is what led to the conversation about him being in the bed in the first place. She said it wasn't helping him by letting him sleep with us.

talk
your dog has separation anxiety and you will need to tackle it (it is not just stopping him sleeping on your bed but a wider problem)
There have been lots of threads on MN about how to tackle it - such as crating and it can be made better (speaking as someone who had a rescue dog who suffered from it for the first 3 months I had him!)

Firstly, I would ignore the people saying you can't have an American bulldog with a child - they are a lovely breed! But I also would not allow a dog I have owned less than 6 weeks to sleep in bed with me and a 4 year old. As PPs have pointed out, it doesn't help with separation anxiety at all. Has the dog got a crate or safe space that is just his?

My dog is a fluffy little shitzu x Lhasa apso. He is diddy. He is allowed on the sofa but when night time comes he gets in his fluffy bed with his toy dog with him and is in the kitchen. We have done this with him since he was a puppy. When we get up he can sit on the sofa. He usually lies on the rug by the fire. Sometimes if I get up early and everyone is still asleep he sneaks up and lies on my bed while we watch breakfast tv and I tickle his tummy. But not often.

A policewoman who trains police dogs is a very different scenario from your average Joe with your average Joe dog (I am a cop, fwiw).

I don't like dogs sleeping on beds, or furniture in general, but not for the reasons she's given you. My reason is that they have comfy, clean beds of their own, and I would like my own comfy, clean bed and space.

Not being allowed upstairs is a bizarre thing to dictate to a pet. There's no harm done by allowing him upstairs. You just have to be consistent and firm about him staying off the furniture.

You've had some great advice here about giving ddog his own sleeping space, so I won't repeat it
But re the 'are you safe with a dog on the bed' point
I'm currently sporting some lovely scratches over my neck and chest after having an afternoon nap on the sofa with DDog - the softest and gentlest dog in the world. But while we were both in a deep sleep, she started chasing bunnines in her dream and her twitching legs have scratched me
Not remotely her fault or deliberate or nasty, and just superficial scratches that will be gone in a few days. But it would have been a scarier experience for a 4 year old...

No dogs upstairs is the rule for us. No dogs on sofas either - although our cocker sneaks on when we are not in the room.

I would reinstate that boundary asap which would solve the bed issue entirely.

My dog sleeps in the bedroom but not on the bed( as he tries to hog all the space if we let him up) Good advice here op.

It's easier to stop a dog coming upstairs (stair gate) than off the beds once upstairs.
Our dogs job is to protect/warn us if there is an issue/intruder.

If I went to a new boyfriends house and found that I'd be bed sharing with a dog I'm afraid I just wouldn't stay. As a child I woke up to find a tick crawling over the rim of my sheet to get into bed with me. It'd had come off the dog. That cured me of the idea that I wanted the dog on my bed. That and flea dirt.

We live in cow country and our dogs (spaniels) are always a bit (if we are lucky) muddy and smelly. I cannot imagine wanting to sleep with them to be honest. Plus one of them snores and figets terribly and I can only imagine that it would send his anxiety through the roof having to protect us from our dreams.

Ours sleeps in his crate with the door shut. He moaned for about a week for up to twenty minutes before Going to sleep-but he's now fine and just goes In no bother and settles straight down.
He is still a puppy really however so yours may not take as kindly to it op?

I will have a search for and read the threads about separation anxiety and hopefully deal with it.

he doesn't really have a space of his own no but I see that is something I need to address so will go and buy him a nice bed this weekend. he always slept on the sofa when he stayed over before he was mine. He did have an old duvet with his toys on but never showed any interest in it at all.

Are crates recommended? I always thought it was a bit mean to crate a dog but I am a total novice hence posting here for support.

Crates are widely used and acceptable. Think of it not as a little jail but a den. Dogs are den animals and a crate can be a retreat, their own domain in our world. It's worth reading up on. There's lots of theory behind it and it makes sense when we cease to apply our human values to animals. Mine has been crated from the get go and I was dubious at first, but it's worked out well.

One of the things people don't tell you about having dogs is that it's important they are able to be content in their own company. I think that gets lost in all the concerns about leaving dogs by themselves ALL the time (obviously not recommended either). The reality is you can't be with them all of the time so you owe it to your dog to make sure they are content when they are alone. It takes work. My instinct is to be with my dog more than I am because I feel bad about him being alone but I try and mix the day up quite a bit, like if I'm home all day I will make a concerted effort to be in a different room for parts of the day. Quite often I give him a toy or a chew when I leave him to try and teach him that alone time is treat time. I think I read up on this in a Pippa Matthison book.

I will confess I have got my dog snuggled in bed with me at the moment - he is a small breed though - he only has slept in my bed very occasionally though. But if I had a child, no I wouldn't.