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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Do you regret getting a dog? :(

43 replies

Scarlet6 · 02/10/2016 03:26

I've always been in love with dogs. I understand that it is a lifetime responsibility and I've done so much research these past years. We just moved to Gothenburg, Sweden. Just as we were looking for a dog, my friend told me he got a 10 month old puppy and couldn't take care of her for personal reasons. He only had her for about 2-3 days. He told me everything there is to know about her (it's complicated ). So I decided to take her in.

She's an American Staffordshire, which I think is not the ideal breed to have as a first time owner. She's extremely playful and smart (taught her 2 commands in just a day).
She is a challenge. Excessive pulling on leash (my arms are bruised from the pulling), growling, barking and trying to lunge at other dogs and people who visit us. She is okay with people outside and may greet them if she's in the mood, but she has a problem with anyone coming in the house.

I've had her for a week. I walk her everyday for 1.30 hours (secluded area) and I take her out to potty 3 times or more. I've been trying to use positive reinforcement which did help with the leash pulling. But I am exhausted and I always expected my first dog to be a lot calmer and easier!

I look at other dogs just walking calmly by their owners and I feel jealous and sad she can't experience this.

It's like my privacy has somehow been violated. I haven't been sleeping well. It's 4 AM and I am crying. The other day I went to get some groceries, I came back after 20 minutes and she came running to me like it's been forever and started licking/hugging/following me everywhere. Leaving her makes me feel guilty and I do like her .. but it's too much.

I want to get her to a dog school but they are taught in swedish only and I barely started taking a language course.. What do I do?

Did any of you ever feel this way and did you act on it?

OP posts:
phillipp · 04/10/2016 17:22

Eating garbage and/or anything left about that they can get into is normal dog behaviour. It doesn't even have to be food.

I shut my dog in the kitchen the other day, when I came back all the breakfast leftovers were gone. She managed to get on a chair and on the table. It's my fault, I left the food out and didn't push the chair in. She just did what dogs do.

Accidentally scratching someone when excites is also totally normal. That's why you need to train the dog. As the dog gets older and less excitable and better trained it won't happen.

stonecircle · 04/10/2016 18:07

We haven't had a kitchen bin for nearly 10 years since we got dog 1. We have a kitchen caddy on the windowsill for food waste and keep a carrier bag on the work top for other rubbish.

Work tops are kept clear of food too. Dog 2 perfected a technique which enables him to reach even the back of worktops (have you ever seen the output of a dog that has eaten a whole piece of Stilton?)

Dog 3 has a penchant for cables (we're 4 phone chargers and one lamp cable down since she arrived a couple of months ago). She also hurls herself at any family member coming into the house (even if you've just put the rubbish out). She's already 22kg but dcs are robust and love it.

Love em all to pieces though!

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 04/10/2016 19:26

Yep, my 'putting the house to bed' routine now involves moving bins to secure rooms and moving the scrap caddy into the now-lockable caddy. I forgot the other day and had a lovely 2 minutes poking at a very worrying looking poo with a bagged finger. Then I worked out it was the kitchen roll I'd drained fish on and binned. Sneaky wee bugger. He also bolted over the road down to the sea today which he hadn't done for ages. Back on the lead he goes...

BabyGanoush · 04/10/2016 19:33

wow, good luck with this.

A new country AND a dog! That is a lot to take on.

Hope it works out with your doggie.

As to the Swedes, they are nice, and Swedish is easy to learn...

Just go to the class and say 'bra", "bara bra"and "tak" and 'tak so mycket" a lot Wink

Scarlet6 · 05/10/2016 09:25

Oh my god, my dog took off this morning and gave me such a fright! Luckily, I found her nearby in a park where I usually walk her. :(
My family and young sisters are starting to become afraid of her which isn't a good sign. So are my neigbours. They are starting to resent her and we're going to have a sit down. I want to give her the best possible care eventhough I'm a first time dog owner. I want to try dog schools, but the longer she's with us the more she becomes attached. She deserves better than to feel abandoned. At the same time it would be unfair to keep her if we can't give her the proper care. So I don't know what to do.

I'm feeling conflicted and part of being responisble imo is knowing if we can handle her or not.

She's a leash-puller (I fell a couple of times), hates the rain, has separation anxiety and is aggressive to both dogs and people.

Sorry I'm venting, yet again.

OP posts:
stonecircle · 05/10/2016 09:38

OP - you need to find a trainer - fast! Have you made any progress with this?

phillipp · 05/10/2016 09:50

How many homes has this dog had?

Where was it before your friend got it?

You need to organise a trainer ASAP.

pigsDOfly · 05/10/2016 10:02

Agree with pp you need to get on top of the dog's behaviour now.

In the nicest possible way, understandably, you sound completely out of your depth and, as much as it's good that you don't want to give up on her, you do need to be realistic about what you can handle.

As a pp pointed out up thread at 10 months the dog is going through adolescence and with the best will in the world an adolescent dog, especially a really powerful one, has the potential to reduce anyone to tears: think of a powerful, extremely stroppy teenager that you can even have a conversation with.

I think in your shoes I'd forget about classes and just find myself a one to one trainer/behaviourist urgently. It's going to cost a bit but if you really want to get this dog trained so you can keep her you're going to need some serious help.

The longer the out of control behaviour continues the more entrenched it's going to become and then you'll probably find yourself having to get the dog rehomed or pts.

pigsDOfly · 05/10/2016 10:03

*can't even have a conversation with

mothermother · 05/10/2016 10:08

i still feel like i did the first week except it's been 11 months since we got our dog. i always feel guilty because she is a brilliant dog, amazing with kids and so loving and perfect ... and i just don't think i like animals? Sad everyone talks about the love they feel for their pets and i just don't have it

i mean i care for her, i care if she is warm and feed her the best food, i care about her wellbeing and want to cry when i look into her little seal pup eyes but i can easily live without her :(

GissASquizz · 05/10/2016 10:18

Ok. I'll be honest. I'd take this dog to a decent rescue. She needs an experienced handler before it's too late. I have a fear aggressive spaniel. He shadow chases. Hates other dogs. Pulls on the lead. I've spent years training him. He was my first dog. He's now 5. Is he better? Yes. But walking him means being constantly alert. It's not a pleasant or relaxing task. I also have a 3 year old dog. Totally different temperament and from a stable background. Loves everyone. Loves other dogs. Trots next to me on walks. He is a joy to own. I love them both, but I am in no doubt that one is life enhancing and one is life restrictive.

BabyGanoush · 05/10/2016 19:20

Just had a look at the breed, is it correct that the American Staffordshire bull terrier you mention in OP is known here as a "pit bull"?

It sounds like you have bitten off more than you can chew.

A pit bull of unknown provenance (and unknown history) sounds a bit of a dangerous situation.

I'd wonder why the dog was passed on by its previous owners too...

Empress13 · 08/10/2016 17:15

If it's an American Pitbull they are a banned breed here in the UK. If she is that much of a problem at 10 months God help you when she is fully grown. You sound out of your depth and need proper training now. Preferably a puppy class where she can be socialised with other dogs (this is the problem new owners have by not socialising puppies at day 1 - very important).

A harness is no good you need a Halti much more effective and stops the dog from pulling. Why don't you google the breed and see what other owners put on theirs.

Good luck but I really think with this breed (if indeed it is a PItbull) you have bitten off more than you can chew.

katemess12 · 08/10/2016 21:25

Sorry to hear you're having a rough time with the puppy. Sad They can be very trying, but rewarding if you can get through it and see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I would recommend getting a trainer to come in and help, and to also take her to puppy preschool type classes (I know around here they also have adult dog, and difficult dog, classes - your pup might fit better into one of those classes). Most Swedes speak some English at least: my DH is Norwegian and just about everyone speaks English, oftentimes better than a lot of native English speakers I know!

If you can find an off-leash dog park, I'd recommend taking her there early mornings or late in the afternoon when there aren't many/any people there, so that she can run around and get some energy out. They're high energy dogs, Staffys. I also second getting a harness, possibly one where the lead clips to both the front and back? I've heard they're good for dogs who pull, and if I'd heard about them when my Beagle was a puppy, I would've tried one on him.

I definitely think getting a trainer should be your top priority because she's going to become more difficult as time goes on if her behavioural issues aren't addressed now.

honeyroar · 08/10/2016 23:35

Poor dog. She needs help. Three homes before she's a year old, current home and last home giving her a matter of days before rejecting her because she's not easy. I know your heart was in the right place, but I so wish people would think and do some research into training and care before they take on a dog. I have three rescues. No 2 had had four homes prior to us, he was a year old. He was hyper, but it wasn't his fault. He took a bit of work, but he's become the most lovely dog. OP your dog already recognises you as someone good who cares. Follow it through. Get help, find a trainer, really put the effort in. And have patience. It won't happen overnight.

miserablemoo · 09/10/2016 14:34

How is she aggressive with people? Is it fear based do you feel or has she actually hurt someone?

With my boy all the issues I had with him as a pup ( he had a few!) That i hadn't nailed seemed to come back worse when he hit his teenage phase. Plus he was a lot bigger so when he was having a moment it hurt a lot more. Honestly it took me ages to train him out of his bad behaviour and most days it felt like we were getting nowhere. But when he matured it all just clicked. He was a nightmare on the lead. If he got excited he would launch himself at the lead and me biting. If giddy he would jump up at kids and people. And he would be muddy as well. I found out if I put my hands in my pocket and turned my back and ignore him until he stopped it would calm him. Anything else would excite him more and he got worse. I learnt his triggers so knew when he was likely to start. I taught my kids to do the same. Now as soon as I do it he stops and sits down waiting for a treat. I say let's go and he's off. But this took me months and he had me in tears daily and covered in mud and bite and scratch marks.

Your dog needs time, commitment and consistency. If you feel you can't do that then you should think about rehoming but please do it responsibly. Good luck whatever your decision is

gratesnakes · 09/10/2016 14:52

I love dogs but you are not in full control of what sounds like a very powerful and potentially dangerous dog. I agree with the other posters who are telling you torehome her. She needs an experienced owner who understands the breed. Can you find a rescue that specialises in bull breeds? Don't advertise her to the public obviously.

gratesnakes · 09/10/2016 14:59

It sounds like she has never bitten anyone so it should be possible for an experienced rescue to find a home for her. Sorry to be blunt, but If you lose control of her again and she goes for another dog or a person she will end up pts.

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