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Getting a dog for the kids?!

47 replies

gracieben6 · 30/07/2016 10:45

I am a mum of 6 gorgeous kids aging from 14 to 1 yo. My elder kids have been begging for a dog ever since our Guinea pigs died 3 years ago. I would happily have a dog because I think that growing up with a dog is fantastic. The thing is I know that me and dh will be the ones cleaning the lawn and looking after it. The kids have promised they would look after it and my 7 year old twins have even said they would train it!!Grin anyone else have any advice on what we can do to ensure kids look after it!! Or just any stories you have about kids and dogsSmile

OP posts:
MaynJune · 30/07/2016 15:35

Don't get a dog - everything in your op screams NO!

Agree.

babyblackbird · 30/07/2016 22:45

Put it like this - my husband and I really wanted a dog and the kids couldn't quite believe their luck ! 2 years on the kids LOVE the dog but only if they don't have to walk it or pick up its shit.

2 years on and I Love the dog but even I get pangs for the days when I didn't have to factor in 2 walks and could go out for the whole day without even thinking twice about that and am quite jealous of people who don't have that tie . And then there's the nightmare of finding someone you trust enough to leave the dog with if you have the audacity to go on a holiday without it. Just saying .....

DailyMailPenisPieces · 31/07/2016 09:40

How would you walk the dog with your children OP?

SinclairSpectrum · 02/08/2016 20:00

This has to be a wind up, surely??
My children were desperate for a dog but like other posters have pointed out, anything they did with our puppy was an addition to his needs, not a requirement. That was left, as planned, to the responsible adults in the house.
If I said to the kids 'let's get a pony and keep it in the garden' they'd think I was the best mum ever. Doesn't mean it's a good idea.
Wait until your youngest starts school, if YOU then feel you have time to commit to a dog then maybe it would be workable.

Gingersstuff · 02/08/2016 20:44

I don't know how you find time to pee with 6 young kids, never mind give a dog the attention and care that it will need. Hats off to you but begging kids are the very worst reason to get a dog.

Dieu · 03/08/2016 10:06

Jeez oh, I'm sure many parents wouldn't get a dog if it weren't for begging kids. It's exactly why I did. And now I have a total mummy's boy Grin

Gingersstuff · 03/08/2016 21:54

That's great it worked out for you Dieu
For the thousands of dogs dumped in rescues because parents gave into their kids begging for a dog like it was a new Xbox or iPhone and then got bored...not so much.
I'm not implying this is what will happen in this case, but it is reality for many many animals.

Dieu · 04/08/2016 11:29

True, but then there will be plenty it works out for, even those like the OP (and myself) whose children beg for dogs. My mum works in Staffie rescue, and many of the people who dump their dogs there wouldn't be capable of owning a goldfish. I'm guessing that the majority of Mumsnetters are a conscientious lot, who wouldn't necessarily fit into that demographic. The children begging for a dog isn't necessarily an indicator that it's all going to go horribly wrong.

DollyBarton · 04/08/2016 11:32

The kids will not look after it. It will be your responsibility fully so only get a dog if you want one. If you are lucky they will help when they feel like it but children are not and should never be considered responsible for a dog any more than you'd have a baby and expect them to look after it. By all means get a dog 'for' them but you need to want it and be prepared to mind it for the resort of its life (it may live 10yrs longer than your eldest leaving home),

MiddleClassProblem · 04/08/2016 11:35

Never get a dog for the kids as even if they do an amazing job of looking after it, chances are those 7 year olds will move out/go to uni and you will be there with an old dog, hoping your then 12 year old is up for the job. If it's a small dog they can do late teens to even 21 no problem...

MsGee · 04/08/2016 11:41

I think that if you get a dog, you need to accept that the work will fall to you, and also that dog 'ownership' as a child, does not prepare you for the work you need to put into getting a dog.

My DD has begged for a dog for about 5 years. She is now 8 and we are starting the process of getting a dog later this month. We nearly got one 8 months ago, but the rescue (sensibly) would not home a dog with us out of concerns about my daughter's experience with them.

We joined Borrow My Doggy and started looking after a dog one day per week, which we did for 6 months. We took friend's dogs on walks whenever we could and had a dog overnight. We are now in the final phase of checking that we are ready - dog sitting a friend's dog for a week.

During this time we also had some holidays and I resigned myself to it beingn a 'final fling' holiday wise :) I am now prepared for holidays in the UK. In a dog friendly place...

The rescue seems impressed with the work that we have put in, and is helping us start the search for our dog later this month. DD knows it may take some time, and understands the importance of the right 'fit' for us.

I would really suggest this sort of approach as it made sure not only that DD was prepared for dog ownership but also that I was. I am now much more realistic about what it involves - and much more excited about it, as I have seen first hand the benefits that a dog brings to our home.

Chillywhippet · 04/08/2016 12:18

I was in a similar position to you OP. DD3 said when she was 3 years old that she wanted to work in animal rescue on land and sea. She's a teen now and wants to be vet nurse/dog handler. She wanted a dog sooo badly and for sooo long that in the end I wanted one myself.

Rescues were sceptical. Some said your youngest is too young. No way.
RSPCA said, "You can't have a dog because you have never had a dog."

Like MsGee, we took some time getting ready and more confident by walking a neighbour's dog when neighbour was having chemo and by dog sitting friends dog in our home including overnight.

We've had 2 whippets for 18 months. They came to us when they were 6. They are lovely and we all love them. The teens will walk them but not without being nagged/reminded. Only I fight with getting the dog hair and smell out of carpets and sofas, keeping the floors mud free and washing dog beds. And whippets are not big shedders, or mud magnets or smelly. Most dog breeds require much more cleaning up after.

Boychilywhippet is nervous and reactive and barks at other dogs, unpredictably. He really hates friendly young labs and spaniels jumping at him. It all needs careful handling on walks in terms of where we walk, managing him, putting him back on lead if a dog is on horizon and talking to other owners. This means my 10 year old cannot walk the dogs.

If a dog in rescue has had bad experiences or not been socialised properly then they might struggle too.

I'm not saying don't do it but I am saying don't do it without taking your time, getting experience, waiting until your youngest is older unless you can be sure you can always manage to supervise, young animals, both dogs and human can be very unpredictable.

dontmakemedothis · 04/08/2016 23:37

If YOU and your OH want a dog and are prepared to walk it, clean up after it, feed it and take care of it, go for it. Your kids WILL NOT DO IT. I guarantee it. Kids are obviously going to say these things in order to get what they want but they have no idea what the responsibility really entails.

Plus, the walking is the most time-consuming part and your kids definitely aren't gonna be going out doing that without you.

Dieu · 05/08/2016 00:15

The OPs eldest child is 14. My eldest is 14, and she regularly walks the dog without me. We can't make willy-nilly assumptions about the OP's family … and for what it's worth, I think she has been frightened off!

dontmakemedothis · 05/08/2016 00:16

Well, I make willy-nilly assumptions based on the law of averages. Your child is definitely the exception, not the rule!

Dieu · 05/08/2016 00:19

Well, admittedly I do need to nag her occasionally Grin. My 10 year old is actually much better!

ovosmexidos · 05/08/2016 00:28

Bottom line is, most parents should know better when a child says

"Pleeeeeeeaaaaaase can we get a dog???? I promise I'll walk him every day!!!!"

DollyBarton · 05/08/2016 12:08

The 14 yr old may walk the dog brilliantly...until exams start and/or they move out when the dog is barely 1/4 way through its life.

davos · 05/08/2016 14:12

The OPs eldest child is 14. My eldest is 14, and she regularly walks the dog without me. We can't make willy-nilly assumptions about the OP's family … and for what it's worth,

my 12 year old walks out dog and picks it's poo. However I can't rely on that forever or know she won't get bored. She is a kid, that's what a lot of them do. That's why you don't get a dog for the kids.

Ops kid gets bored, then she is left walking the dog with 5 kids.

LadyV90 · 05/08/2016 17:27

I'm a bit Hmm at the people saying the kids might get bored walking the dog the oldest is 14 surely at the point you'd say you wanted the dog get it walked.

I our house we all took turns walking the dog and it has taught as that when we became adults there might be things we don't want to do but regardless they still need to be done.

Dieu · 05/08/2016 18:41

exactly. No-one's teenager bounds out the door, grin on face and leash in hand, but it's all about responsibility at the end of the day. My 14 year old was desperate for a dog, doesn't always want to walk him, but understands that his quality of life would diminish if we didn't all do our bit. Yes, kids can perhaps be reluctant at times, but it's still a valuable lesson … and lots of fun too.

MiddleClassProblem · 05/08/2016 23:36

Having worked in a rescue centre we have had dogs come in because they bought it for the kids and when the kids went to uni/move out/move abroad/joined the army/became and air steward etc the dog got dumped because the parents never wanted it and only bought it as the kid's responsibility. All I'm saying is don't go in to it and not expect at some point this dog could be yours to take care of. It's best to be prepared for that even if it never happens.

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