Because right now (the morning after the event) I'm still fuming.
We adopted a lab just under 3 months ago. He was estimated to be 9 months old, so is now a year. From straying, he was taken to a kill pound, rescued from there and put in foster, then adopted, then a few months later they gave him back, now he's with us. So probably four homes (at least) in the first year of his life.
First adopter told us that he was a lovely dog - dodgy recall and "a bit possessive of the sofa" but otherwise no issues.
We got him home and it was obvious he didn't want our girl dog on the sofa - he growled at her if he was on it and she went near. However with less than two days of me giving him treats whenever she went near the sofa he stopped and never did it again. They cuddle up on the sofa together now.
However it became pretty clear that DDog has some pretty severe fear-aggression when on lead and / or in enclosed spaces with other dogs. We took him to training classes but he couldn't cope in the environment so we're doing some one-to-ones and working on that in the hope of taking him back when he's more confident. The key point here is fear-aggression when crowded by other dogs.
Last night friend came over. He has 5 dogs. His dogs are not supposed to come in our house due to a mixture of issues from dog aggression and human aggression through to not being properly toilet trained. Yesterday DH had arranged to meet friend for a dog walk (they do once or twice a week). Friend came back to ours after. He usually either takes his dogs home or leaves them crated in his van (doors open but crates secure). Last night he brought the dogs into the garden instead. After a while he brought one of his dogs in (small dog he was worried would escape from our garden). This dog is human -aggressive but as our DS was in bed by then, with three stairgates and a door between him and us we said it was OK.
Friend and DH were sitting at either end of our sofa, with our pup dog sprawled across them, head on Friend's lap. I couldn't say if he was awake or asleep, but knowing him almost certainly would have been dozing. Friend's dog tried to jump on his lap, landing squarely on our dog's head. Our dog growled and snapped (Didn't make contact) - probably because (a) he was surprised and (b) the whole fear-anxiety thing. Friend immediately hit my dog hard on the shoulder, then pushed him off the sofa (violently enough that pup-dog landed on his back on the floor). He then swore at our dog. I was stunned but pulled myself together and told him he was not to hit our dog. He apologised, but TBH I think only because he realised I was annoyed, not because he was actually sorry.
The atmosphere was certainly awkward after that. Eventually friend put his dogs back in his van. By this point the dogs outside had dug up a lot of my garden, friend laughed but apologised again.
I don't want friend or his dogs in my house again. DH is pretty much not talking to me after then incident (and slept on the sofa last night) so I'm assuming has sided with his friend. Am I over-reacting? I've been working really hard with Pup Dog to try and overcome some of his issues and we've been making progress (using positive reinforcement) and if this sets him back I'll be livid. Pup Dog has been unsually clingy since last night. He usually sleeps with DH but came up with me last night. How would others tackle this?
And any advice if this HAS set DDog back?