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The doghouse

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Original poster

help: possessive dog

20 replies

y0rkier0se · 01/11/2015 21:38

We took in a small stray dog about 2 years ago. She is old - vets estimate about 10-14, and definitely has yorkie in her but may be a cross breed. She is our only dog and I have ruined her. She was so thin when we took her in that the vets thought her organs might start to shut down. We didn't think she'd make it until Xmas so I allowed her to sleep in our bed & was very soft with her. Since then she's very much been 'my dog' - we kept her on the condition I did everything so I feed her, walk her etc. The problem is, she's so possessive of me. She seems to hate DP, growls at and bites him daily, she only has three teeth so he laughs it off and plays(growls!) with her, but every night she growls at him at bedtime and if he tries to kiss or hug me she goes for him. I know this is my fault but I don't know how to fix it! I've tried doing all the 'bad cop' stuff, telling her no, making her go outside when it's raining, putting her to bed etc, but she is still going for him on a daily basis and he now resents her. Please help!

OP posts:

Wolfiefan · 01/11/2015 21:41

No expert. As a starting point can you make him the good cop? So he feeds and walks?
Do you do any general obedience?
I wouldn't have her on the bed if she was going for my other half.
BUT why is he growling at a dog. That's never going to help

Original poster

y0rkier0se · 01/11/2015 21:51

He works long hours so just not feasible for him to walk and she has to eat little and often for her blood sugar so as I'm at home it makes sense to feed. The only sort of play she does is where she lowers her front half and growls but not in an aggressive way, she's not interested in toys at all. So we play with her, but she will sometimes immediately switch from playing to nasty. Normally if I'm sat on the same sofa, she sleeps in her crate in our bedroom so comes to bed with us and always jumps on our bed and always gets put straight into her crate (though it always depended who was first upstairs as to who put her to bed, but now I do it 9/10 times). Have had no luck with general obedience - won't sit/stay/generally listen. We have manages to toilet train her but it took about a year. We have no idea of her background whatsoever so don't know if she was previously trained but doesn't respond to any attempts to training,

OP posts:

Wolfiefan · 01/11/2015 23:08

Have you seen a behaviour expert or tried different training methods?
And please don't put her out when it's raining as a punishment.

Original poster

y0rkier0se · 02/11/2015 09:37

We've only tried positive reinforcement. sorry I meant going out for a wee when it's raining or cold, she doesn't like it. I'd never put her outside as a punishment.

OP posts:

LetThereBeCupcakes · 02/11/2015 14:36

Right, first off I would say your DH needs to start building up some positive associations with her. As soon as he walks in the door from work, he should throw a tasty treat down on the floor for her (he needs to have it in his pocket ready). He doesn't make eye contact, speak to her or interact in any way. Just drop the treat and carry on.

Training is usually a good way to build up a relationship. Can you describe how you've tried teaching the sit (and any other commands)?

He MUST stop growling. No laughing when she bites, either. Instead, a quick "ah-ah" sound and all attention on her stops.

What food is she on? How many walks a day / how far?

Original poster

y0rkier0se · 02/11/2015 15:30

Thanks cupcake, he's going to try the treat when coming in thing.

We tried teaching her to sit a couple of ways. Firstly by standing in front of her whilst holding a treat and bringing the treat down trying to get her to follow. That didn't work. Then tried staying with her and praising her when she did sit. That also seemed to be having no impact after a couple of weeks. We tried gently pushing her back end down into a sit but she resisted. We haven't sought professional advice as such (had a quick local Google but all were for puppies) but mentioned to the vet she seemed resistant to training and the vet said it was understandable at her age but to try and persist. She does know 'down' off the sofa but doesn't always do it!

He has agreed to stop playing with her with the growling. Problem is even when having a fuss she playfully growls and jumps at your nose as if to bite (but you can tell she's playing - if she wanted to bite she would, and does). If you try and ignore her she growls (but playfully) and barks and paws your face if sat down.

She's on natures menu raw frozen nuggets and walks morning and evening but not far - twenty mins/half an hour, and she runs around off the lead (her recall is really good). She always has food and a sleep when we get back so it seems to be tiring her out.

OP posts:

LetThereBeCupcakes · 02/11/2015 16:06

I think training classes would really help, but like you say it can be really hard finding somewhere. Can you tell me roughly where you are? I might know someone

Original poster

y0rkier0se · 02/11/2015 16:16

That would be great! - we're South/West Yorkshire border

OP posts:

LetThereBeCupcakes · 02/11/2015 16:22

Ok. Once my toddler is in bed I'll have a dig for you.

Original poster

y0rkier0se · 02/11/2015 16:36

Thankyou, really appreciated!

OP posts:

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 02/11/2015 18:33

The sitting is twofold. To get her to sit you need to have the treat in front of her nose and then raise it upwards. In theory her head should go up to follow it and her bottom should go down. Once you've managed to get her to sit a few times say 'sit' at the same time so she associates the action with the command. Then finally you should be able to say 'sit' and she will sit.

Probably much easier on young bouncy eager puppies.

Original poster

y0rkier0se · 02/11/2015 18:40

that's what we tried but she just put her head forward instead of down so didn't default into the 'sit' position unfortunately

OP posts:

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 02/11/2015 19:03

You need to put it right on her nose and lead her up. It's tricky, and an older dog is a bit set in its ways!

LetThereBeCupcakes · 02/11/2015 19:08

Right. DS is asleep. I'm all yours.

First, the sit. It takes a bit of jiggery pokery to figure out the correct lure with some dogs. My girl is a rescue and she's all over the place. Took ages with her! I've been looking on You Tube but can't find a video. One of these days I'll make one...

Anyway. Sit.

Take a tasty treat. Get dog's attention. Your aim in this step is to figure out how you need to move the treat in order to get the dog to sit. Try holding it just about her nose and then moving the treat backwards (ie towards her tail). If she steps back, try moving it up slightly at the same time. At this stage DO NOT SAY ANYTHING. Don't be tempted to say sit. Every time you say the cue word and she doesn't do it, you get what's called a "Missed Association" and it all takes even longer. When you get her in a sit (and you will, eventually. Even if it's because she got bored), release the treat. Keep trying. Eventually you'll figure out the movement you need. DON'T move too fast. If you have a clicker you can click as her bottom hits the ground.

When you are CERTAIN you know the movement you need to make with the treat, start saying sit as she moves into position. Release the treat.

Next, start saying sit BEFORE you move the treat. so it's "sit" then lure, then she sits, then you reward.

Next, say sit, then count to three before you lure her. Eventually, she will sit before you have to move her. The first time she does it herself, MASSIVE fuss, loads of treats, get really excited and then STOP. Always stop on a positive.

Lots of little (5 min) training sessions are much better than one long one. Pushing on the dog's back just makes them resist (as you found out!) so avoid this.

On to trainers. I've had a quick look. Is this one any where near? From what I can tell it looks good. Give him a ring and have a chat. If possible go to a class without your dog and see what he does. You want it to be reward based. No rough handling. Any mention of dominance theory run a mile. All of the other trainers I looked at around you mention pack theory / dominance theory which is a massive red flag. Hopefully that one will be OK though.

I think it would also be beneficial for you to look at different ways to play with her. Have you tried a tuggy? Or fetch? I know you can tell when she's being aggressive rather than playful but the fact that she seems to cross that line quite often makes me think perhaps other ways of play would be beneficial. When you get the training process mastered you can maybe look at trick training with her, for a bit of entertainment.

There are some really good books I would recommend - firstly The Culture Clash by Jean Donaldson. IMHO every dog owner should read this one. You might also find "How To Bond With Your Dog" by Victoria Schade a good read.

I could ramble on for hours, I really could. But I won't! Happy to talk through things one stage at a time with you.

LetThereBeCupcakes · 02/11/2015 19:10

Oh, and I clearly haven't rambled long enough as I want to add one more thing.

Dogs have to learn how to learn. At the moment, she probably doesn't realise that if she follows a command, she'll get a reward (she does get a reward, right? ). Once you've got a few hours training under your belt she'll probably start to realise that good things happen if she sits / plays nicely / gets off the sofa when asked!

Original poster

y0rkier0se · 02/11/2015 20:41

Thanks so much for the reply, massively helpful! I'm sure I'm going to be a picture now trying to teach her to sit will report back when I've had chance to try this often and see if I get anywhere with it!

I've actually contacted that Steve on Facebook before but he read and didn't reply to my messages and from what I can gather from his personal Facebook he has had a lot of mental health issues so not sure if he's taking some time out. I will phone and see what the situation is!

I have tried all sorts of toys but she just isn't interested whatsoever. Fetch is hilarious because she doesn't want to play with the ball so has no desire to bring it back - she actually looks a bit scared when a ball is thrown. The other 'game' she seems to enjoy is if you have your feet covered - especially with a blanket but socks will do - she tried to nibble on them, so you move your toes, and she play growls and seems to enjoy herself.

She's dozing at the side of me now on the sofa so will give 'sit' a quick go now and report back!

OP posts:

Original poster

y0rkier0se · 02/11/2015 20:55

Ok have had a quick go with this and she seems to be getting it! The only thing is she sometimes is standing up between me saying sit and her eating the treat. Is this ok?

OP posts:

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 02/11/2015 21:21

No, sorry! You're then rewarding the stand instead of the sit. The reward has to exactly coincide with the desired behaviour or the dog won't associate it.

Original poster

y0rkier0se · 02/11/2015 21:25

shes seems to be getting it! do I praise when she sits or just give the treat? sorry for all the questions

OP posts:

LetThereBeCupcakes · 03/11/2015 06:13

Sad long as the timing is right and she's still sitting you can praise, but don't over do it in case she gets excited and jumps up!

Precision is key. I use a clicker which a good trainer can help you with

Hope Steve comes back to you. I only found 2 others in your area and they both mentioned pack theory on their websites. Only other place to look could be notice boards in vets.

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