Done to death.....dogs and babies

[EllieandAnna]

Just wanting a bit of advice and to see what others have done.
Dh and I disagree on rules for ddog to be implemented before baby arrives, maybe I am ott and need to relax, I don't know! To be honest we often disagree when it comes to dpup as I like to have set rules and be consistent whereas dh does what he feels like at the time then gets annoyed if she misbehaves (eg. Dh feeds dpup at the table then moans when she begs)

I've said I don't want ddog on settee, she's a large clumsy excitable 3yo and I would rather have that rule so she doesn't accidentally squish baby (she leaps up for cuddles atm, dh insists it is only on request but it isn't! ) My main one is sleeping arrangements; I was pregnant last year and dpup had always slept downstairs before then. We locked cats out in preparation for babys arrival for safety reasons and to get them to adjust to it. Sadly our dd was stillborn and to make dh feel better I relented and let him have dpup sleep in the bedroom on the promise it was short term. One year later she is still in here and we disagree on what to do before ds arrives. Dh says to keep her in with us but I'm concerned she might accidentally nuzzle blankets over babys face or roll him over whilst I'm asleep (like she does to our sleeping cats!) I want to make the change before ds arrives whereas dh doesn't see the point. Am I being over sensitive, what are everuone elsew rules re dpup and newborn?

Is the dog in the bed? No way would I ever have a dog in bed with a baby.

I've had a dog sleeping in the bedroom with a new baby, but the baby was either in the cot or in bed with me and the dog was on the floor.

Sorry i wasn't clear. She is never in bed, always on the floor, I drew the line at in the bed despite dhs protests! But I do still worry with her being a big dog that she'll be able to reach the cot.

Perhaps you need to explain and agree that DDog sleeps elsewhere initially because - debate about the safety issues aside - you will be very tired, and protective of your baby and the extra stress of also having to think about/worry about the dog if the last thing you need.

This is what I was trying to explain to dh and I wanted to make the change before baby comes along so she doesn't feel pushed out, we do haveca spare room so I could always go in there with baby but would prefer me dh and baby in the same room. Will have to discuss with him again. Thanks.

DDog really needs out now, if done too late there's obviously going to be resentment and jealousy and your DH really needs to wise up here!

It sounds like he's actually putting a DDog's needs (or rather his own actually) before DBaby???

I don't understand his logic. It really would be unsafe to have ddog in the same bedroom, or even upstairs, far better and really obvious that this be done and settled before dbaby arrives.

Not quite sure how DH is prepared to risk this. I worried about Dcat never mind ddog!

I think there's a good bit in Marley and Me about this isn't there? where the wife loses it completely trying to manage them all and marley runs over one of the toddlers.

Good luck with your follow up and hope he sees the obvious sense in what you are saying.

I'd be a bit wary of a big dog jumping up to look in a cot and pulling it over. Never mind jumping on the sofa when you've got a baby in your arms! Your dh needs a kick up the bum. Baby comes first and you have to be firm. Get a babygate on the stairs and the door to the living room and tell him either dog stays downstairs or dog goes to live somewhere else for the time being.

Our old boy had his nose very much put out of joint when dd1 arrived. He never did like our dds much. They never had the bond that we had with him. Dogs take in more than you think and you need to have rules in place before baby arrives. You don't want dog associating changes to his routine with the new baby.