Could we be in the right place to consider a dog?

[FishenNuggets]

I've been lurking on this board a couple of years now, picking up hints and tips and both DH and I would really like to get a dog but would love some advice from anyone more knowledgeable. Apologies in advance, this is a bit long.

I work part-time from home. There would be occasions when the dog would be on its own (playdates etc) but not for longer than a few hours. Generally I or DH would be with it.

I could walk it a couple of times a day weekdays on the school run (40 mins ish) with a longer walk at the weekend.

We have a big garden. We could easily fence off the yard but the main garden is fenced with old sheep hurdles (easy to climb through). We could use the yard to let the dog out by him/herself and only let the dog into the main garden when we are there. Would this work? We've liked having an open aspect as we've got allotments out the back and it's lovely chatting.

Our son is nearly 4 and likes dogs he knows but can be a little wary when he meets them out on a walk. He's fairly active and an only child, so it would be great if the dog was a playful, affectionate companion for him but a curly up companion by the fire type for me.

We both had dogs growing up, but have only had cats as adults. One is still alive and he is our main sticking point. He can be lovely (mainly to guests) but he is moody and we would have to be really careful introducing anyone. He's 10 so not an an age of adaptability but equally could be here another 10 years or so yet...

We're not massively fussed on breed. I have been influenced by the love for whippets, greyhounds on here, but nothing is set in stone and I'm not sure how they would work with a cat...? We're not massively fussed about a puppy but consider one... Equally we could go down the rescue route but wonder how many would be cat and 4 yr old friendly...

DH has put his foot down on one thing - he wants a short haired "sleek" dog. I don't think anything too crazy would work with the cat...

Any thoughts would be very much appreciated including that this is just not going to happen...

Sounds positive to me. Like you, we thought about it for years to be absolutely sure we were in the right place and could manage. My only regret is that we didn't go for it earlier .

Not sure about the cat situation.

Not sure how playful a whippet would be - don't think they'd be great with a ball for your son or off-lead, but I am sure someone knowledgeable about whippets will be along to say otherwise!

What did you go for?

Sounds good to me. Our old Lab and our cat(s) lived happily side-by-side for years, in fact at one point we had a rabbit too for good measure (it is safe to say the rabbit ruled the roost and did nothing but chase the dog and the cats out of her garden).

Have PMd you.

I have lurchers and three cats. They love to play, but also to cuddle up. Both are rescue - one went into rescue at 6 months as he has no prey drive, the other was born in rescue.

Lurchers look pretty cool. I'm just looking at a rescue page, and they've got a some there listed as "cat friendly". Could your cats have been called "dog friendly" before your dogs arrived?

The cat will most definitely sulk on the arrival of anything else. Mind you he is (nearly) tolerant of DS, sometimes even rubbing up against him and purring!

It's great that you've spent time considering it all, rather than just getting a cute puppy on impulse and then regretting it when things go wrong.
A lot of rescues have a blanket 'no under 5 / 6 / 8s' rehoming policy, but smaller rescues are more likely to look at cases on an individual basis. Lots also use foster homes so can be more honest in the info on any dog they have, or have good history so can say if dog us cat friendly.
Young puppies can be more easily trained to be cat friendly but are hard work! Lurchers are great dogs, but can have high prey drive, so puppy or known history safest for the cat.
Enjoy the looking and I'm sure you'll find the best fit seeing as you've spent time considering it fully

I wouldn't have described any of my cats as dog friendly tbh. We guessed evilgingercat would be OK as he is just so defiant to everyone, but psycotictabby and madblackandwhite were anyones guess. All are rescue, and all of them have issues especially the black and white. Ginger sleeps with the dogs, blackandwhite largely ignores them, and tabby isn't very keen on them (she isn't keen on anything though) but it isn't a problem.

EGLR is where mine came from - as all their dogs are fostered, they know the dogs really well, and they often have puppies

Lurchers are great, and if in rescue should be cat tested before going to a home with cats.

You sound in an ideal position to have a dog.

A few things:

Do you* really want a dog? If you're thinking of it mainly as companionship for your son, just think that you'll be doing most/all of the care; walking, feeding, vets, sorting out care when you want to go out, on holiday etc. Children will be fascinated for a few weeks but, as the dog gets to be "part of the furniture" their interest will wane.

• Dogs cost money. Food, insurance, vets, dogsitter/kennels, doggy daycare.

• You have to plan ahead when wanting a day out, let alone a holiday. If you wanted, for eg, a day out at a theme park - need someone to come and walk the dog or pay for doggy daycare. Ditto for any day out, even just shopping, or cinema and some food after - anything that may be longer than 4-5 hours. You can't be so spontaneous anymore, it all has to be planned.

• Even if your son isn't in the mood, the dog has to be walked. Come rain or shine. Dogs do make mess in the house. Muddy walk, enter house, shake all over walls, floor, skirting board. I'm not super duper house-proud but I did find it made extra work when I had foster dogs.

• What about your cat? I've seen far too many ads on Gumtree etc where the cat is being sold (given away) because "it doesn't get on with new puppy/dog etc). I think it's a bit unfair on the cat, tbh, but it can work, of course, with careful introductions.

• An older dog, that's been cat-tested, is a much better bet. Google your smaller rescues, that have dogs fostered in families. Then you can get a better assessment of how they are with kids, cats, families etc.

Those are good questions. And I think having had cats for years would certainly give me experience of a lot of those things although admittedly not to the same degree...

DS is only occasionally interested in the cat, I am the one who does all organising for the cat (food, fleas, worming, cattery, catsitters, vet visits etc), clean up after the cat (he is always coming in from outside, running through the house, putting mud everywhere - he's long haired and doesn't come in just cos it's raining).

Cats probably should be cheaper, lower maintenance but the cat was involved in a car crash two years ago that involved a £4K+ insurance claim, numerous vets visits, being caged for six weeks whilst he healed (a nightmare as he preferred to go to the toilet in his food bowl that in his litter tray)... That hasn't even been a one off - it's his third big insurance claim.

Money-wise, yes, there's obviously costs involved. Again the same things as we have with the cat (but at a higher cost). We actually just had an IVF cycle fail, and have decided to stop TTC now. So I'm hoping a dog would be cheaper than a baby!

Full days out (where the dog wouldn't be able to come) are rare but are normally planned ahead anyway. Often we try to go with other people so we'd normally know in advance but yes, we would need to ask someone to look after the dog. Shopping days are rare - I get everything delivered.

Who's the companion for? Definitely all of us, but for different reasons. For playing games in the garden with DS, for sitting by the fire with me and keeping me company when I'm working from home, for being a great excuse to go for a walk as a family (in whatever weather).

The cat is the sticking point and any tips on introductions would be brilliant. It wouldn't be easy. He is a rescue cat, and we adopted him with his friend (who has since died). The rescue centre assured us that they got on, couldn't be separated but they hated each other for months and months. They never grew to like each other but managed to tolerate each other. I did call the rescue but they didn't offer anything useful when I called to ask for help on what to do. It took a lot of time.

But that's why I wouldn't want to jump straight in. We would like to get a dog but it needs somehow work with the cat.

Sorry that was quite long!

A good way with cats is to ensure thy have a space that the dog isn't allowed in, with plenty of sleeping 'safe' places, like in too if wardrobes or such that he dog can't get to. Often dogs aren't allowed upstairs but cat is for eg so they can easily get and stay away from the dog. Do ou know anyone with a cat friendly dog who could visit to give you an idea of how the cat might initially react to a dog?

We've had dogs with high prey drives and cats and have made it work, although it took a lot of time and effort and I wouldn't recommend it.

We now have three dogs who adored the cats from the word go and it was so much easier. We used baby gates to make sure the cats had a permanently dog free room (don't need the gates now as we teach boundary respect to our dogs) and made sure we gave the cats lots of cuddles. We also put up cat perches in each room (just a shelf with some fleece or rubber matting glued to it) so the cats could get up away from the dogs if they wanted to.

We rescued ddog3 very soon after I'd had our last and final late miscarriage. She really helped me, and DH too, and she's definitely cheaper than a baby! Our DS is an only child and he adores our dogs (who worship him) he's only a toddler but picked up very quickly how to interact with them, they're extremely careful and gentle with him a d have never mouthed him, bowled him over or shoved him out of the way. I even caught him building sandcastles in ddog1's full food bowl once while she sat patiently licking his socks!

I think choosing the right breed and the right individual is crucial, our dogs are all rescues but I knew the breeds very well and had watched the absolute disaster train wreck maulings behavioural sessions each of them had prior to taking them on, so had a pretty decent idea what we were getting into. If you go for a rescue dog, try to find out as much as you possibly can about the dog beforehand, and only get one from a reputable rescue, ask around for recommendations.

Our dogs have saved my life several times, I couldn't be without a dog now, neither could DH and he wasn't really a dog lover to begin with!

To me, you sound as though you've thought it all through very well and as though a dog would fit into your life well. I'd go and have a look round a few rescues, and have a chat with them about how it would work.

We have two cats and three dogs. Two of the dogs came before the cats, the third dog is relatively new. We put a child gate on the stairs, and only the cats can get upstairs, it gives them space. You'd need to fuss the dog to help it settle, but also fuss the cat so it doesn't feel left out. I find a good log fire on a cold night helps, everything gravitates there and snuggles up!

OK, those are good ideas. Always up for a log fire! We'll definitely stop the dog going upstairs. I don't know any closeby cat friendly dogs. MIL has a dachshund! : /

I'm going to start speaking to a few places, see what they say. We're not in a rush so if we have to go on a waiting list or it takes a while for the right one to come through, that's not a problem. EGLR looks like a good place to start. Any other rescue recommendations more than welcome (particularly in the South East, East Anglia way).

What do you do about having different food? We feed the cat in the mornings and evening but his bowl is normally down all the time. Maybe if we only put it down at meal times, or when he asks for food? And best to start implementing any changes now before the dog arrives so the cat's nose isn't too far out of joint?

Do you have different places in the house for them to eat/drink?

Thanks so much for all your help!

I had the same situation with my cats when I got my puppy 4 years ago. I just started putting the cats' bowls up higher where the dog couldn't reach.

Did find though that dog did everything she could to get hold of cats' food and she often succeeded. When she couldn't get hold of the food though she was happy to settle for the cats' poo - something you might want to be aware of - made my stomach turn the first time it happened. Having said that food, nor poo seem to cause any problems to dog's stomach.

In the SE, take a look at Pro Dogs direct. Small localish rescue, most dogs in foster in family homes, very upfront about any dogs in their care and back up support ongoing as well

Fish, I saw this thread and wondered if this little cat-loving guy in a Royston rescue might suit you? (Rather tempted by him myself but we have garden fencing to sort out first.)

Sorry, I've just seen that you were looking for short-haired and sleek rather than fluffy!

Omg he is gorgeous though!

Oh he is so cute! I'm going to show him to DH... he he. Although I know what he will say : )

He won't look : ( boo hiss. All because we didn't get a tabby when we got our cat, he says he gets his own way now on this one.

Speckles though good with cats and dogs... "steady nature". DH is deliberating...