I don't know if I can trust my dog.

[whatlifestylechoice]

Hi,

We have two dogs, a boxer bitch and a rescue collie. The collie is very nervous, very scared a lot of the time despite our best attempts to train him out of it. He's well trained otherwise, just scared of everything and everyone unknown. I don't even bring him into town anymore because he just freaks out every time and spends the whole time cowering.
He wasn't too bad until he had an accident that left him blind in one eye, and since then the fear seems to have gone into overdrive. He's five or six, btw - the rescue couldn't tell us exactly.

He's tried to bite my DP twice and me once, both times out of fear. When he tried to bite me, he was hiding under a neighbour's car when they wanted to leave, wouldn't come out, and when I reached in to get him, he snapped at me.
We didn't do anything about it, as we're both big and ugly enough to take care for f ourselves and it's only been in extreme situations that he's tried to bite.
However, I'm now rather unexpectedly pregnant. And I don't know if I can trust him around a child. Presumably when he/she is a baby it will be fine, but I'm worried about what will happen in the toddler years.
What do you think? Am I fretting for nothing or am I right not to trust him?

Thanks, I'll have a look for that book.
We did get a trainer for him before, who was into positive reinforcement, but unfortunately still seemed to believe in pack theory, so I didn't really trust her to be the best, iykwim. We're in very rural France, which can be a bit backward in some respects.
The thing is he's fine most of the time, but then has these total freak outs every so often when he's in panic mode and we just can't reach him.

I dont trust my dog. He's a well trained boy the behaviourist was impressed at his training but at times can be tetchy. Just to give you an idea - he's nearly 3 but hasn't bitten since last Christmas but will occasionally show his teeth to ask for space.

I'm going to do a mix of crate training (so he can have space/peace), stair gates and also training an unruly toddler when I eventually have kids . I know with management he will be perfectly safe to have around children.

I have the book 'happy dog, happy kids'.its pretty basic but worth a read if only to reinforce the basics of managing the behaviour

I think you're right to be worried, in that, yes, you go need to think ahead a bit.

Presumably a child would never be trying to pull a stressed dog out of where it's decided is safe (not criticising as obviously he couldn't stay under a car , lol, but from his POV, fairly understandable really).

Do you have a crate or clearly defined space that the dog can go to if it's stressed about the potential toddler? Somewhere that's easily reinforceable as an absolute no go zone for a child. That's the biggy really, that you'd be better starting sooner rather than later.

There's the obvious stuff as well, that's the same for any parent, not letting a baby harass the dog and not leaving them alone together - I found the easiest way to do that was to take the dog with me if I left the room.

Mostly dogs find toddlers a bit disconcerting...but then realise that they drop food almost constantly and so adore them, lol, hopefully that's the way it'll go.

But do read up on stress signals so you're prepared if it might look like it's not working out.

Oh and congratulations.

I don't think you can trust any dog with a baby or toddler, but if he is already very unpredictable, it would make sense not to let them mix or find him another home.

I am not saying that you need to get rid of the dog because of the baby, but it may be that the dog may be less stressed and happy in a home with no young children.

I wouldn't want to have a fearful dog around a baby/toddler.

Small children can be loud and unpredictable and putting a fearful dog into, a stressful situation - stressful for the dog that is - is never a good idea.

My dog is the sweetest, happy go lucky dog imaginable. She loves everyone. When we're out I know that if a child wants to stroke her she'll be fine with it.

However, a couple of times recently I have baby sat my 13 month old GD in my home. She is used to being around dog - they have two - but will try to chase mine. And my dog really isn't sure how to deal with it. She wants to be friendly so will wag her tail, but then GD starts chasing her and dog will jump on the bed, for instance, and sit there rapidly licking her lips.

My DD - babies DM - keeps telling me that the dog will get used to it and I should let them get on with it, as she thinks that I'm being precious over my dog being made unhappy, and yes I don't want my dog to be distressed, but the thought that my dog might get so distressed that she might attack her baby is just too horrific to contemplate.

In your situation I would be looking to rehome him to a nice quiet child free environment - much better for him.

Yes, I think you're right to be worried.

The situation you describe where the dog snapped at you wouldn't bother me too much to be honest. Dog didn't attack you, dog snapped when cornered. In his mind he was telling you to leave him alone, you ignored his communication of asking you to leave him alone so he stepped up his communication. With hindsight it would probably have been better to entice the dog out with positive methods, ie food.

I used to have a dog which would Attack my Dh, dog would hunt Dh round the house snarling and lunging at him and drawing blood.

However you have a toddler on the way. It is true that you should never trust any dog with a toddler but I think in practice there are dogs you trust more. My old dog if we had visitors was on a lead and muzzled otherwise he would take chunks out of people. Current dog im sure would tolerate being poked and prodded by toddlers......not that Id ever allow it but Id be amazed if she reacted.

It's good practice to make sure that your toddler wouldn't be left unsupervised with a dog. Do you think with the layout of your house you could guarantee that the dog could have a safe place where he could go and not be followed by a toddler? So use stair gates, etc? How do you think the dog would react if as he walked past a toddler the toddler grabbed a handful of fur? Because that sort of thing can happen in the blink of an eye even when you're right there.

We have a snappy collie x pup who wanted to first bite the vet, then one trainer then another. We have been warned that her temperament is not good. But she lives with us and somehow we have to deal with it. One thing I do is make sure that she defers to me or dh when she has a fright and sees someone unfamiliar. It is really important that she's not the one making the big decisionsor paying the bills. She is getting better fingers and legs and arms and everything else crossed!