Questions about owning a dog from a non doggy person

[blushingmare]

Me and DH are not really doggy people. We've never had dogs and tbh, find a smelly, drooly, jumpy up kind of dog a bit off putting (I know this will be met with distain from "real" dog owners, but bear with me!) But we are animal lovers, love the outdoors, live in the country, have young children and want a really great family pet and know that nothing really beats a dog for a family pet. But I just have some questions about dog ownership that I really need to consider before going any further. Is be so grateful for some honest answers as need to know if a dog would really be for us!

1. Lifestyle. I work 3 days a week and on work days am out of the house 8am-3pm. Could I leave a dog that long or would I need to get someone to come in to walk it? Would I need to walk it before I left in the morning? We have a large garden that could be dog-proofed. Should a dog be left inside or outside?

Also, if you go out on a day trip which isn't suitable for dogs, what do you do if you're going to be gone all day? We recently house sat for a family with a dog and felt quite restricted by what we could do on our holiday because they'd told us we couldn't leave the dog longer than 5 hours.

1. Children. Our children are 1 and 3. Is this too young to introduce a dog, both in terms of them not being gentle enough with it and already being quite busy running around after young children - would it be silly to add a dog into that mix?

1. Chickens - will the dog chase the chickens?!!

1. Is it best to get a puppy and train yourself or get an older dog? I'm not bothered about the "cute" factor of having a puppy. If you got an older dog, are rescue dogs the best bet?

1. If the above lifestyle is doable with some types of dog, can anyone recommend good breeds to consider, also bearing in mind we'd like a breed that is less likely to be smelly, drooly etc

Apologies if these are really awful questions to be asking of real dog lovers, but surely best to be honest in our research about whether a dog is for us!

Many thanks.

You shouldn't leave a dog more than 4 hours, and yes, you'd need to walk it before you left in the morning

IMO your children are too young, wait until the youngest is about 5

Do you really think it would be fair to leave a dog outside?

I don't think a dog is right for you, certainly at the moment, maybe think about getting a cat?

1. I wouldn't leave my dogs for that length of time without someone coming in to walk them, I agree that 5 hours is an absolute maximum length of time I would leave them without someone going in to walk them. If we go out on a day trip they either come too or they go to a local day boarder.

1. I think that is only a question you can answer, my kids were older when we first got our old dog and he just added to the chaos and busyness of our home but we loved having him and he taught the kids lots about being kind and patient.

1. We have birds of prey staked out on perches in the garden sometimes and while both dogs will chase anything that moves out on a walk they leave the birds that DS brings home alone and neither of them bat an eyelid at the birds if DS (a falconer) takes them to the centre he works at for the day.

1. We have a 15 month old border collie who we adopted at 8 weeks and have trained her since puppyhood, she is s a bright clever dog who has taken to training really well. But we also have a 10 (ish) moth old spaniel who has lived with us for about 10 weeks now. He came with very little training but has learned his basic commands surprisingly quickly. Rescues can come with problems though, I would look for one that has been looked after in a foster home where the set up in similar to your own home environment.

1. It is really easy to teach dogs that jumping up, licking at people, slobbering at family meal times etc are not acceptable.

To me, owning a dog is a bit like having a two year old they need company and they need stimulation otherwise boredom and trouble set in, you have to be prepared to give the same kind of commitment that you would a child.

yes - like having a 2 year old BUT the toddler years last for up to 15 years (depending upon the age you get the dog.) It is a long term commitment but worth it if you can do it
agree about not leaving the dog for more than 4 or 5 hours

Leaving the dog depends hugely on the breed. Lots of dogs are completely happy to be left - our golden retriever is left from 7.30 - 5.30 and is fine. She sleeps on our bed all day. The springer spaniel I had growing up couldn't be left more than 4 hours. Dog's temperaments vary as much as their physical appearance, so you need to choose the breed to match your lifestyle.

Kids will be fine, our two year old dog and one year old baby get on fine (we had the dog first). If yoi can cope with the work get a puppy, that way it can grow up accustomed to the children. If getting a rescue or any older dog you need to be really certain it will be ok with small children.

How on earth can you leave a dog for 10 hours and it's fine?

1 the vast majority of dogs cannot be left for more than 4-5 hours. Leaving them longer risks problems like constant barking that will upset your neighbours and destructive behaviour. Are there exceptions? Sure, there are exceptions to every rule but 99% of all dogs conform to this rule so how will you guarantee you will find the 1% that will be fine being left? Having a dog can be quite restrictive if you do not enjoy the lifestyle that goes with having a dog. A dog would need to be walked before and after work with a dog walker coming in to break the hours the dog is left alone. Dogs also need long and varied walks, a quick jog round the block is not sufficient. Will you be abler fit this in around two young children?

1. Your children are too young, I'd wait till the youngest is at least 5-6 and can understand better how to behave around an animal.

1. Most dogs will chase chickens, most dogs can be trained not to but it takes time and patience and you would almost certainly need to have a safe, dog proofed area for the chickens for either short term or long term use.

1. It depends what you want from a dog.

1. I think you need to make sure you will be OK with hairs, mud, mess and the odd vomit and toileting accident that comes from owning any dog. While some dogs are known for being drooly, there is no breed that does not make a mess with hair, drool, dirt, etc. German Spitzes are supposed to not have much of a doggie smell but they need serious grooming. I wouldn't base my choice of breed on this.

I think, honestly, if you have reservations about a dog, then its not a good idea. I have two, love them dearly, but they have to be considered in everything you do - holidays are almost the easiest to cover, its days out, or a night away that can be hardest to cover imo.

Mine don't drool, shed much (ddog1 in particular has very little coat), and don't smell in a dog smell way. But after some joyful cavorting in the wetlands the other day they reeked, which is a normal part of dog life, so you do have to be prepared for muddy paws etc.

1. Lifestyle. I work 3 days a week and on work days am out of the house 8am-3pm. Could I leave a dog that long or would I need to get someone to come in to walk it? It would be preferable to get someone in to walk a dog or send it to doggy day care. The same if you fancy a day away although lots of national trust type places allow dogs in various locations.

2. Children I wouldn't recommend a puppy with small children, even the softest puppy will be prone to nipping and chewing children and toys. Puppies rarely understand the difference between their toys and children's favourite toy. I would say school age children can gain a huge amount from learning to care for a dog.

3. Chickens - will the dog chase the chickens?!! Yes probably but you need to put the time in with training to prevent this happening.

4. Is it best to get a puppy and train yourself or get an older dog? If you got an older dog, are rescue dogs the best bet? I wouldn't get a rescue dog with small children around. I have fostered dozens of rescue dogs and every one of them had hidden vices. One dog handed to me as a family friendly dog with no vices actually turned into a raging monster when a childs musical toy was activated. No one could have predicted his reaction as he had always been the most kind and loving dog he clearly had a bad experience in his past with a childs toy. You will never know about their past. There are many reasons why dogs are handed over and owners will try and hide aggressive behaviour so the dog is accepted for rehoming.

5. If the above lifestyle is doable with some types of dog, can anyone recommend good breeds to consider, also bearing in mind we'd like a breed that is less likely to be smelly, drooly etc All dogs smell and want to cuddle you after rolling in fox poo, they even like to rub mud into your carpet and eat all your make up. Have you really thought about this properly? I'm not sure if it's what you really want or even prepared for.

Some people do leave their dogs for more than 4 hours but imo that is morally reprehensible. If we go out for a day I pay for a trusted dog walker - sometimes for two walks - say 11 am and 3pm if we are going to be several hours. It's costly but necessary

I'm all for non-dog people getting dogs but I'd honestly say don't at the moment for all the reasons you've brought up yourself.

I'd say your dcs are not old enough to be dog-siblings until they are old enough to walk a good mile or two in a straight line twice a day (that's the children, not the dog). Toddlers, buggies and good dog exercise don't mix. The alternative is not exercising your dog enough. Dog then becomes a demanding pain. Add a naturally demanding toddler to the mix and you will all end up hating each other.

We got our first dog when our dcs were 6 and 8. They are now 16 and 18 and ddog has been a integral member of our family throughout their childhood and has given us many many happy family memories of cuddles, walks and family games. Ddog is still going strong and ds's main concern about leaving home to go to uni is missing the dog not his parents

Wait a bit and it will be better.

I run a dog walking and day care service. I've cut and paste your queries and answered them in bold.

1. Lifestyle. I work 3 days a week and on work days am out of the house 8am-3pm. Could I leave a dog that long or would I need to get someone to come in to walk it? Would I need to walk it before I left in the morning? We have a large garden that could be dog-proofed. Should a dog be left inside or outside?

You need to walk him before you go, and get a reputable walker in around 11 for another hour's walk. You can leave him outside if he has food, water, and warm dry shelter available. All this is once he is adult and assuming he is a reasonably hardy breed. During puppyhood he may do better in daycare.

Also, if you go out on a day trip which isn't suitable for dogs, what do you do if you're going to be gone all day? We recently house sat for a family with a dog and felt quite restricted by what we could do on our holiday because they'd told us we couldn't leave the dog longer than 5 hours.

You arrange for the dog walker to take him out, as many times as necessary, or for daycare.

1. Children. Our children are 1 and 3. Is this too young to introduce a dog, both in terms of them not being gentle enough with it and already being quite busy running around after young children - would it be silly to add a dog into that mix?

I'd wait a little bit longer. Both your children are still too young to understand about how bad it is to pull ears etc.

1. Chickens - will the dog chase the chickens?!!

Yes, until trained otherwise. Some are far more interested in chasing than others, and some breeds are more chase minded than others, but you never know. Every dog is different.

1. Is it best to get a puppy and train yourself or get an older dog? I'm not bothered about the "cute" factor of having a puppy. If you got an older dog, are rescue dogs the best bet?

Hard one this, as I am a MASSIVE supporter of 'always get a rescue'

1. If the above lifestyle is doable with some types of dog, can anyone recommend good breeds to consider, also bearing in mind we'd like a breed that is less likely to be smelly, drooly etc

Short coats are less likely to be smelly than long coats, and more drool is produced by dogs with big loose soft mouths. The worst drooler we've ever looked after with our doggy daycare/walking business was a Great Dane, however some of our many Labradors run him a close second.

Without getting into a debate about how long you can leave a dog etc - you can't order a dog who will guarantee to fit in, at best you can select a breed which is most likely to fit in with your household. So you might well have a dog that's happy to spend some days at home alone (or in the garden which on a nice day is where I'd rather spend the day rather than in the house!) etc but you can't guarantee that, there are so many variables at play.

So I think you need to ask yourself how you'd cope with a needy dog as there always a risk that's what would happen.

Also, not withstanding that some adult dogs are quite happy to be left during the day a puppy definitely cannot - so even if ultimately the mature dog will fit in well with your lifestyle you will need to make sure that you have someone who can let a puppy out.

If you don't like dogs then I'm sorry but don't get a dog. All dogs are smelly, messy and drooly to a degree - that's part of what they are. If you want a cleaner, non drooly animal then get a cat.

I tend to disagree with posters saying you shouldn't have dogs around younger children however, we have always had dogs around young DC.

I don't think an inexperienced owner should have a dog around young children though

No Costa, perhaps you are right.

Having said that my Mum got my beloved (late) cavalier king Charles when I was six months old, having only owned cats before. Dog was the love of my life!

I can easily leave my dog for more than 4 hours, and it's not morally reprehensible to do so. I don't do it often, because I work from home, but if need be, I can leave her for longer than that. I don't know that I'd want to leave her 3x a week though.

When we go on day trips, we either choose destinations that we can take the dog to, or leave with my parents. Do you have someone nearby who could take the dog on occasion?

It is also not correct to say that you can't have a dog when you have young children because you need to walk the dog for hours a day, and that's hard to fit in with kids. Our dog is quite content with an hour a day, and on a day like today when its poured with rain, she didn't want to go out at all.

Only you, OP can answer the question re how you think your children will cope with having a dog. If you think that your DC will follow the dog around and pull it's tail, then I'd say no.

We have a Maltese/Cavalier cross, and she regularly persuades non-doggy types that they wouldn't actually mind a dog after all. DH didn't like dogs until we got her.

it's a lot of work to do kids and dogs at the same time

but it's really worth it -although I'd wait till your littlest is 3 or so

dogs are imo less messy/smelly than cats- they don't bring corpses in, for a start

they do some unspeakable things, though.

UNSPEAKABLE

My cats don't bring corpses in, they are indoor cats :)

My dog on the other hand I have watched chomp up a live mouse.

All animals are a bit grubby really, you just have to live with it.

My dog doesn't do unspeakable things. Unless you count snuggling up on the couch and on the pillow beside me

I wasn't a dog person before we got Eric but I absolutely adore him and can see the appeal of many other dogs now as well. For me I wouldn't have wanted a dog when the dc were small,Eric was a nippy puppy and a full time job on the early days now he's lovely but the walks he prefers aren't really buggy or toddler friendly. He can be left for up to four hours but usually I only leave him for three. On days out my adult dc look after him. He's non shedding but he still makes a mess coming home wet and muddy and chomping up biscuits on the rug, luckily though he's cute and appears to adore me

ok, maybe one dog won't do UTs on its own

two will, though

Muddha Eric does UT and he's an only. Carrying a well decomposed half a pigeon home after rolling in the other half Pebble dashing himself by rolling first in fox poo and then in gravel Eating horse poo....... fundamentally anything that stinks he rolls in if he doesn't eat it first.

Yy to what everyone else has said about not leaving them longer than 4 hours.

Tbh I'm not convinced it's a good idea to get a dog if you don't love dogs! The messy, smelly, drooly side of things is inevitable, and it's going to be a lot harder for you to deal with if you aren't really that keen on dogs in the first place!

It depends how much you don't like dogs. Dh disliked dogs but committed to getting one for the kids. I knew he would love it, because I know dh well and I was right.
But owning a dog is a pain in the butt, so restrictive..we've had to reorganise our whole lifestyle to fit with our dog because we have no one else to look after him, he moans like a bugger if the family leave him - i can leave him though and he's fine with that - he just doesn't want to miss out on family time.
And they are hugely expensive.
Dilemma - pups are easier to train to ignore chicken but they are very nippy around kids and that can be terrifiying, it really is very hard work.
On balance we love our dog very much, but when he's gone we won't replace him.

loaf - agree with everything you said
they are a big commitment for many many years
they are expensive, jabs, pet insurance, worming, de-fleaing and food - even more so if they are injury prone
I love my dog very much and put up with the tumbleweed of hair, doggy smell and the restrictions but when he is gone (he is 11) I will not replace him