Help - rescue dog problems

[Catzeyess]

We have recently rehomed a gorgeous mongrel dog and he is really hard work. We feel a bit duped by the rescue as they told us he was a sweet boy who's only issue was pulling a bit on the lead and had no special requirements (we made it clear we were novice dog owners and didn't want a dog with too many issues).

Once we had taken him on it transpired he was a Romanian stray who has most definitely never been in a home. He is jumpy and terrified of everything, not used to being in a house and normal home noises are stressing him out. He likes being stroked and is gentle and friendly to everyone he meets but whines if left to sit on his own for a bit. He is not housetrained. He knows absolutely no commands at all. He doesn't understand toys and is not interested in food (tried to bury it) and so we are struggling to teach him anything apart from come.

Help! What do we do! We are close to just sending him back but don't want to let him down. Has anyone else had a dog like this and did they turn into a good family pet with a bit of training! What do we do!

Well done OP - it sounds as if you're doing great! My dog thought the TV was a magical demon when she first arrived and the other is still convinced (after 7 years) that the hoover may just suck her up. But they're both pretty calm and just take themselves off to another room now. Your calm consistent approach is exactly the right way to go.

My only word of warning would be to try and get your DH as involved as possible. Anxious rescue dogs like this are a classic risk of developing separation anxiety after overbonding to one owner, so discourage him from following you around the house, and ensure he retains some abilities to self-soothe as he becomes more dependent on you. Getting your DH involved will help with this also as dogs who bond to one person are more at risk.

Keep posting!

Chilling in the garden. Still not sure of DH and often won't come to me or follow me if it means walking past him. But he took some chicken from DH earlier (he has been doing it with his back to him) he has been going on walks with DH alone as much as possible and that is helping them bond. But to be honest a lot of the time we are leaving him be on his bed and getting on with normal life so he is not too overwhelmed.

I think DH is becoming fond of him. Although still struggling with inconsiderate dog owners! The amount of people around this area who walk their tiny yappy dogs off lead and let them run up to him and spook him on the pavement is really surprising -and angering- me.

So far he hasn't shown separation anxiety that I know of. I left him for an hour and had tea with our next door neighbour and couldn't hear him whining or barking. I am trying to leave him for short times every day so he learns I always come back.

Thanks for all the advice and encouragement. He is doing really well and I am managing to relax a bit more now.

Any idea what breed he might be? I recon he had German shepherd in him, but he is a lot smaller (about the size of a large fox)

He looks like my dog a little bit except jaydog is black and white jaydog is collie X he has the same nose and ears as yours . He looks very comfy and relaxed sitting there

He looks so relaxed, gorgeous dog. My rescue's got similar markings and is the same shape, apart from his weird ears . I was just told he was a mongrel when I got him, had lots of opinions and the general consensus from looks and behaviour is GSD/collie.
As pp has said, definitely worth getting him interested in a ball. Mine still tends to bark when on a lead if he's around other dogs, but not as much as he used to (fine off lead, he just ignores them) if I produce a ball he stops instantly and focuses on me.

Catz, round us if your dog is uncertain / ill / whatever and you don't want it approached, you put a yellow ribbon on the collar. Tbh, I would let my JRT come up and sniff as that is normal behaviour, but not if I saw the yellow ribbon or, of course, you had told me in advance. Don't know if that helps.

Ps, if he is even taking something from your DH, having had a dreadful time presumably at men's hands, your DH us doing amazingly, as is ddog.

He's lovely Catz

Did you see the link I posted earlier to the yellow 'nervous' lead - it really does help. Also Google yellow dog

Aww gorgeous ender

Have ordered a yellow lead.

I'm pleased to report he ate all his food last night for the first time. And he ate it with DH in the room. Whoop! (Although I did buy some new ridiculously expensive stuff from the pet shop that smelled good even to me ha!)

Wow catz you're all doing so well!

Your posts are bringing back so many memories of our early days with DDog, all of those little milestones that just make your heart leap! We also had to feed DDog backwards for a while - as a result her heelwork is amazing! So many weeks of rewarding her whilst she was at our side and we weren't looking at her.

Another milestone today! DH got treated to a bum wag when he came from work today for the first time .

Yay!

Eyes going suspiciously moist. Is DH coming round to wagging his tail too?

It sounds like you've made real progress in a very short time well done Catz

Hi I have a rescue border collie and thought I would share my experience.

We were told our dog was house trained, good with people although a little nervous around men, good in the car, ignored cats (we have one) and various other things.

We had him last year and I honestly thought I would have a nervous breakdown, he chased the cat, clearly had never been in a house (took us over half an hour to get him through a door), we would not get him in the car for 6 months, he was nervous around everyone and totally destructive. I posted on this board for advice and contacted the rescue who totally washed their hands of him. Within two months he had eaten my settee, tables, destroyed my kitchen and lots of other things such as shoes, etc.

For 6 months I could not sit down at night as he started pawing me to the point he ripped several items of clothes. He was not aggressive but I could not work out what he wanted.

I tried lots of training, behaviourists, etc and nothing worked.

Fast forward to 12 months on and I love the bones of my dog. He can be left without destroying anything (touch wood), loves the car, likes to snuggle at night, enjoys a walk, plays with the cat and is getting better with men. I am so glad I perservered and I still to this day do not know what made him settle although I give a lot of credit to positive rewarding as this is when mine turned a corner I think!!

It can and does get better and I genuinely thought more than once that I would have to rehome, I am so glad I did not .

dreaming it sounds like you've done an amazing job with your dog!

I'm horrified reading how many people are lied to by rescues. Our dog was in a pretty dire state when we brought her home, but we knew everything up front as much as possible. The rescue provided behavioural support and I'm friend's with DDog's carer on FB - she loves to see her progress.

Good to hear your story dreamingon I'm so so glad it worked out for you! You have done such an incredible job! I definitely know that feeling, these rescues have a way of driving you crazy and you convince yourself they have to go back and then they do one little thing and make your heart melt.

So far the only piece of furniture our little dog has cost us is a carpet (he dug a hole in it) luckily most of our floors are wood and the scratches can be buffed out when he settles! I can't imagine how hard it is when they wreck so much furniture!

The rescue won't return my calls or emails sadly. Extremely frustrating.

Aww I have loved reading your updates. In a couple of months it will be like you have always had him!

That's great you've persevered and it's paid off.

We rehomed a Staffy approx 4 weeks ago from a large well known charity, said he was great family dog and bombproof.

Had to return after 2 and half weeks after he would growl at me and snapped at me too many times.

With 2 kids under 6 I was very disappointed they rehomed him to us and he wasn't the great big placid dog they said

Oh he looks lovely! It takes a while for any dog to get used to a new home. My puppy took time to get used to us and she had been living in a home situation. (also all my dogs try to kill brushes, it is the rule for terriers, all brushes must die). You are doing really well, week by week he will get to know you and your ways ,and the normal noises of a house, and over time he will calm down. I house sat for a friend a while ago and looked after her dog who already knew me, it still took him 10 days to calm down and not be really stressed at the change. And although we were in her cottage not his normal home, we were only 100 yards away and shared his normal garden etc. He was very anxious and I just acted very normally around him, and gave him lots of praise and treats, until he relaxed. So don't expect too much, as your dog is having to learn a lot very quickly. He sounds as though he has a lovely temperment and will be a really wonderful companion.

That's exactly how I felt catzeyess, I really thought more than once that's it I cannot cope and then I would just catch his eyes and would melt.

I can't believe I actually adapted my house for a dog, , I removed my carpets (were destroyed anyway as not housetrained at the time) and replaced with wood effect lino, I also just brought second hand, leather sofa, etc so that at least it would not cost a fortune.

I think as well as the positive reward rather than being negative the change also came when I relaxed more around him, I think dogs are really sensitive to our moods.

You sound like you are making so much progress and they really are worth it, the love a dog gives is unconditional and when I look back I can't believe how bad things felt at the time.

So we have had a setback, my BIL come to stay and basically he loves dogs (but doesn't know much about them it seems!) and had been on a walk and fed him some beef and although he had been a little uncomfortable he had seemed ok with BIL a few days ago. When he walked in the house despite our dog showing obvious signs of being uncomfortable he lent down over his head and tried to stroke him. Our dog got spooked and started growling (which he hasn't done to a human before). Now at this point me and DH should have handled the situation a lot better but I think we made the problem worse.

The dog ran to me and DH and our strategy for desensitising him to strangers is to get strangers to feed him high reward treats (which seemed to be working really well) DH suggested we get the beef out and try and do this. But I think our poor dog was far too scared and he continued growling, he would take the food then stand back ears and tail up staring at BIL and growling. At this point I said he has had enough his avoidance strategy is not working and its escalating to him challenging BIL (fight or flight) and so let's leave it. DH disagreed and starting telling the dog off for challenging BIL at which point I told DH off. DH didn't like that and said he had seen this on the dog whisperer and we had to 'disagree with his state of mind' I said you are not disagreeing with it you are making it worse BIL agreed with DH. Anyway me and DH started having an argument (DH was accusing me of being too soft and treating him like a human when in fact he is an animal and being dominant and needed to know who is boss and that my stressful energy was making him more stressed - my argument was the dog is obviously terrified you are making it worse and undermining his trust in you and to leave him alone) so anyway obviously the arguing made the atmosphere even more tense and the dog was really freaked out so curled up in a tight ball. DH continued trying to get BIL to offer him beef, prompting more growling and then I left the room calling the dog to follow me, but he didn't intead he followed BIL around growling with DH 'correcting' him. Absolute disaster. Then when we went to bed I tried to explain to DH calmly you cannot treat fear with 'correction' but he thinks he was snapping the dog out of his state of mind and showing strong leadership. I was trying to explain fight or flight and that DH's approach is going to make this lots worse. DH said stop humanising him, he thinks dogs get scared differently from humans when I said 'how would you like it if the person you trust 'corrects' you for being scared is it going to make you more scared or help you relax. Basically we completely disagree on how to handle this!

What do we do!

Sorry for the epic post!

Oh dear. I fall firmly in your camp, OP. Dominance theory has been wildly discredited and is, IMHO, downright dangerous.

Dogs go through a 4 stage warning process when they're afraid - freeze, growl, snap, bite. Freeze is very hard to spot and most people miss it, as you experienced yesterday. Your dog gave you good warning by growling. By ignoring his warning he could well have escalated to a snap. If his growl warning his consistently ignored, he may well learn it doesn't work and skip that warning all together, going straight to snap. Then you're in trouble.

How long has ddog been with you now? When our girl had been home for about 2 weeks she started getting a bit of confidence, but then scared herself and became very growly. We just left her alone and the phase passed in a couple of weeks.

Get your DH to read the culture clash, by Jean Donaldson. I'm on my phone at the moment but when I can get to the pc I'll see if I can find some relevant articles for you.

Articles to help me convince DH would be amazing. Although he is cross this morning for 'undermining' him. And doesn't want to talk about it, but he will come around. I didn't realise this but his family raised their pet dog (who they had from a puppy who had no fear issues) with dominance theory so he is convinced it's gospel. DH was the 'expert' when we got a dog as I haven't been raised with dogs. To me it's common sense the dog was scared don't scare him further. I never did like the dog whisperer on TV, I always though fair enough the presenter can unpleasantly force the dog into submission but it won't work for the majority of us. He been with us to weeks Tuesday.

Dominance theory is not just wrong but dangerously wrong. Your DH was provoking your dog into biting and once he has bitten you will have a whole new problem.

Here are some articles on why dominance theory is wrong:
apdt.com/pet-owners/choosing-a-trainer/dominance/

positively.com/dog-training/myths-truths/pack-theory-debunked/

www.whole-dog-journal.com/issues/14_12/features/Alpha-Dogs_20416-1.html

They pretty much say the same thing, i.e. dominance theory was developed from a misunderstanding of how wolves behave which has been retracted even by the researchers who first proposed it.

Caesar Milan is an unethical and downright dangerous trainer criticised by pretty much everyone else:

www.dogwelfarecampaign.org/press-statement.php