Ive had a golden retriever puppy 4 days....and changed my mind

[Eliza22]

Does this happen? I feel overwhelmed.

Story...

My son is 14 and has autism and OCD. He has no friends despite many many efforts. He is high functioning. We've had his name on a list for an autism assistance dog for years but he's now too old for the list. A year ago, we sourced a breeder and decided to get him the doggy companion ourselves. So far so good. Two litters went by....no bitch for us until now.

The pup is beautiful. Full of energy but very clever, as these Goldens are! But, my son is tearful and upset (and so am I) because we have a beloved cat who is 7. She has taken the dog very, very badly. Last night, my son came to me in tears saying "I miss Tallulah (the cat), I want the dog to go away if we are going to lose Tallulah".

I should add....I'm 53 and menopausally emotional at the best of times. Have I made a massive mistake? We've had the idea of a golden retriever companion for our son for so so long, what HAVE I done?! I feel like ringing the breeder and saying keep the cash....I've made a mistake.

Help!

[EasyToEatTiger]

You'll get there! We have a house full of collies. It takes work and a mindset and you will be well on the way. Our pup is 7 months old now and been to collie boot camp. We have been to collie boot camp. Our lot are much, much better after a good runaround, and some expectation that they will do as they're asked. The dogs are creatures of habit. We know when we go out where they will rush to, roughly and when they will be back. It's really hard with a pup. When he starts responding to you it will become thrilling.

[basildonbond]

Definitely hang on in there - the first few weeks are pretty full on but once she's old enough to go out for walks and she's house-trained and the cat has realised that it's very much got the upper paw it will get better

I got our puppy when my mum had just been diagnosed with terminal cancer and I'd just turned 50. My sister was convinced it was an absolutely disastrous idea and tried to persuade me to change my mind. But getting our puppy was the best thing I could have done. I love the routine of taking him for walks, I've made new dog-walking friends, I've thoroughly enjoyed training him and seeing him develop and although he's very active out on walks and is a high-energy breed, once we're home he's really chilled

Ds2 came round to the idea pretty quickly (at least once the puppy biting phase was over) and now views ddog as part of the family.

[Eliza22]

basildon what breed have you?

[basildonbond]

He's a Toller - imagine a golden retriever crossed with a collie and then shrunk a bit!

He's so happy and enthusiastic about everything just looking at him lifts my spirits

[Eliza22]

He looks lovely! Very bright.

[Hoppinggreen]

Tollers are lovely, we are lucky enough to dog sit one sometimes and he is absolutely gorgeous and so well behaved.
Golden a Retrievers are still the best though and once she grows up and calms down a bit eliza she will be the best dog ever and I'm sure she will help your DS.
When I was growing up I had a difficult time ( parents didn't get on) and our GR was always there for me.

[BrendaBlackhead]

Eliza, you will get talking to people once you can take your dog out. Regarding socialisation, dog was too heavy to carry so I bought a pushchair off Gumtree and took him out and about in that for a few weeks. Actually I don't know what planet I was on but everyone stopped and oohed and aaahed and at least dog is not afraid of traffic, as some dogs can be. I think I may have caused a few near car crashes though as some people nearly veered off the road in surprise when they saw my big hairy baby.

I do remember feeling I was trapped with him at first. In fact for months I didn't go upstairs during the day! The beds never got made, there was dust six inches high... I just felt I had to watch him like a hawk every waking hour.

Also Top Tip: I bought a special TALL dog stairgate. It was a bit pricey, but absolutely worth it as it stopped dog going upstairs to lie in our more comfy crates/leaving hair everywhere/stealing underwear/harming his hips.

[TheHumancatapult]

I did wonder for the first 5/6 weeks if I had done the right thing with having a puppy and was shell shocked at amount of time needed toilet traing etc including up in the night ).It does get better

Things that helped me was paying for a good 1-1 trainer to come in do couple of sessions and meant we got ontop of nipping etc fast .A crate we use dit for time out when he started nipping we did an ahah noise first then second time in crate ( house open plan and wheelchairs meant was best way of withdrawing attention .worked fast for us luckily

I also found a good dog walker helped on days I can`t do it and he does a regular walk as was a good way of extra dog socialisatiuon she also does day care and home dog boarding and trainer to .

Now at almost 8 months I could not be without my boy I adore him he is a lot calmer now , daughter was being hormaonal teen and stropping but instant smiles when dog came over for fuss .My youngest has sn and dog has done wonders for his confidence is his best friend
Puppy had small scrape yesterday from miss judging jump and he was being hand fed cooked chicken the lot and kids fussing over him ok and me to .( he is fine but lapping it up )

[Eliza22]

Humankatapult....what is he? Hope he's ok now!

[lostscot]

Ours is now 3 1/2 and easiest dog ever! Completely bonkers zoomin about on walks but just crashes out at home and dd and ds best friend! When he was a year old we got a kitten who came home screeched at him and scratched him and was completely in charge from then.hang on in there it will get better x

[Eliza22]

Ok. So, one week on.....

I've tried hard. Tried to settle her. Changed her food to Royal Canin Golden Retriever 0-15 months. Big selection of toys in rotation. Cat still terrified. Son very tentative but talking to her. But.... Today, she was chewing on something and I was afraid it was too small and might choke her. I went to "sweep" it from her mouth, as I've done many times with bits of sticks and garden stones she's picked up. She growled at me. Proper growl, teeth barred, snarling. She then started to cough so I tried again, same thing. DH held her, because I HAD to remove whatever was in her mouth. She snarled and growled and then bit me. I've two punctures either side of my index finger which, an hour later, are still bleeding.

Is this normal. It really shocked me. There was nothing puppy-ish about that growl.

[CoogerAndDark]

She was probably frightened by it getting stuck and then being grabbed. Not your fault at all and a mix of guarding behaviour and Oi! gerrof! from her.
Do you build in checking mouth and body when grooming her? It's a good routine to get into. She's still very little, this doesn't mean she becoming vicious at all, just that needs to learn how to be handled.

[Eliza22]

She gets handled constantly. The vet said she was very easy to handle when she had her nails clipped yesterday! Brushed twice or more a day.

I just hope it was a one off moment. I've NEVER heard of a vicious golden retriever!!

[CoogerAndDark]

The little baddyboots! Angel for the vet, pushing it for you. Don' t worry, she feels safe with you and got a bit above herself, that's all. With training the Leave It command will stick and you won't have to sweep her mouth for things she shouldn't have.

[Floralnomad]

Well you can get vicious golden retrievers , I know of 2 but you don't get vicious puppies so rest assured it's probably a blip that you need to work on . When you want her to drop something rather than taking it from her swop it for something better ie toy / chicken and put a command word with the action like drop it / leave it - eventually she will drop it without the need for the treat each time . Glad your DS is more on board and drop it / leave it is the type of thing he could practice with her ie give her one toy and swop it / drop it for a treat .

[tabulahrasa]

You need a drop command...it's pretty normal for puppies to guard something in their mouth already.

It's not viciousness...exactly, think of her like a toddler - if an 18 myth old child had something in their mouth that they wanted and you pulled it out, you might get bitten then too.

[Eliza22]

[Rudawakening]

When you brush her, try and touch her laws, her mouth, lift her gums to check her teeth, basically touch her all over so she is used to it.

Definitely train a drop/leave command, but with our collie I would also take toys, food and treats off him and then give back after a couple of seconds. I've always been able to take anything from my dogs without a growl, bark or bite.

[Eliza22]

I thinks that's what shocked me because since she arrived I've had no problems taking things off her.

[CoogerAndDark]

HaHa, our Lab was like that. Good as gold at first, until she got a bit bolder and started pushing it.

[Eliza22]

Oh yes, and she's constantly humping my leg....

[kippersmum]

I haven't RTFT but our collie pup was a nightmare for the first few months. MY DD is ASD. Once you get past the pup stage it has been brilliant for us. DD1 (9) basically does dog school for me.


Maybe hire a dog walker or something to give you a break, but if a dog works with your AS child then perservere :)

[kippersmum]

Also Eliza, when it all goes wrong, abandon kids with other half & go fell walking for half a day. Listen to R4, enjoy thermos of tea & some cake.

Kip drives me mad at times, but he gives me the best excuse to escape it all at weekends :)

[Eliza22]

She's home-bound (and so are we) til her vaccinations are completed in 16 days. Not that I'm counting!

[Eliza22]

Here she is.....11 weeks now.