Thank you kind posters for your understanding, it can seem ridiculous to some to be so low over a dog...
She was a big bundle of hyperactive energy till 6 years old and we had to be so creative to wear her out, hiding things for her to fetch and sniff out, cycling for hours with her running.
The she calmed down around the time my 2 dc were born a year apart and became the most gentle loving kind companion, she kept me company when my dh was overseas and l was up all night with babies in a strange city where l knew no one.
She was so careful with 2 babies, then toddlers, then small children, and loved them totally, but she was always most loyal to me.
She also got me through some very sad times which l could not bear to discuss with anybody, always keen for a walk and delighted to see me.
If l am honest as long as she was there, l felt all was fine in the world and l could cope with anything and truly never felt lonely. l have been so lucky to have had such a wonderful dog.
Now l feel as though my world has shifted and l have lost my bearings.