I can't cope- dog sitting.

[Letmeeatcakecakecake]

Hello

My MIL has a VERY needy rescue mutt, and has gone on holiday for two weeks and asked me to dog sit (his usual kennel was un available) I had no choice but to accept.

I currently have a 6 year old, an 8 week old, a very selfish partner who is out of the house for 12 hours a day (I say selfish because 3 of those hours are to go to the gym ) and very bad knees.

The dogs been here for 4 days and is already very clearly depressed. I can't walk him because of my knees, and I can't give him that much attention because I'm occupied by my 8 week old and then my 6 year old. I've also got exams to study for, a house to look after and meals to cook. My partner does fuck all to help.

When my partner leaves for gym/work he sits by the door crying and barking then stays in his bed all day until he comes home. When my partners home, he plays with him a bit, but (understandably) he'd rather play with his children. He doesn't eat his food and his tail is down all day.

I can't cope with him being here, to be honest, he is a complete inconvenience to me and he can sense it.

I've never taken to him either, he'd poorly trained, he begs to the point of climbing on you when you're eating (I tell him off, my partners feeds him off his plate...) he moults everywhere, he smells, he jumps up, my 6 year old can't leave a single toy out with out it getting destroyed, I don't want him on the bed (8 week old sleeps with us) but my partner undermines me and let's him on there and I end up resenting him more.

I feel bad because it's not his fault, but I can't help how I feel.

What can I do to make these next two weeks easier on us all, and help the dog be happier? I don't want to tell mil as I imagine it will ruin her holiday for worrying.

I want to enjoy my new baby but this dog is making me anxious.

op, I really think you should keep the dog away from the baby

and post again in Relationships about your arsewipe of a "partner"

I think MIL thinks he helps out a lot more than he actually does. She's one of those ones that won't hear a word against her darling baby

I am keeping doggy away from baby, I was absolutely fuming when yesterday my partner put her on the pups back! He gave me the whole 'he's fine' and I told him I'm sure that's what that poor 3 week old parents thought and that at the end of the day he is still an animal and is out of his usual environment and where baby is getting all the attention. Honestly I feel like my 6 year old has more sense than him.

When doggy was on my lap that was only to get an example pic to show how needy he was! Don't worry!

how is it going today ?

I think MIL thinks he helps out a lot more than he actually does.

The problem phrase here is 'helps out'. He doesn't/shouldn't 'help'. He's an adult. He should do his share.

PLEASE have a serious word with him, OP!

Much better thank you. My other half has been at home so he's taken the pup out and the dogs mainly all over him so has mainly let me alone today. Don't get me wrong there are things that are grating on me but I'm just picking my fights wisely for now (he keeps chucking the babies stuff, such as her sling in the dog bed which I think is disgusting but reminding myself that pups only here for another week then he won't be able to do that anymore and that I can wash the sling).

I have a plan of action in place for pup walking until the monster in law returns and for my own sake I'm trying to make this week as stress free as possible, I'm not going to bother doing anything around the house, I'm just going to enjoy my children and get some studying done.

Once MIL has returned I'm going to make it clear to both her and my partner that I am never dog sitting ever again. If her usual kennel is unavailable and she feels that she would have to cancel her holiday if I can't have him then she's going to have to cancel her holiday.

As for my partner, I'm going to reiterate to him YET AGAIN that he does absolutely nothing to help me. If he doesn't want to take on a fair share of the cleaning then he can hire a cleaner to come once a week and give the house a good going over so that I don't have to. im also going to start expressing some milk so there's no reason that I can't go out and do my own thing for a few hours in the evenings whilst he holds fort at home (other than missing my babies squishy cheeks!). I really am feeling walked over at the moment and it's really pissing me off!

some good ideas there but seriously he is chucking the baby's stuff in the dog basket ?

why would he do that ?

I would take that as a deliberate act designed to wind you up.

Your baby is adorable. Her face seems to be saying 'don't worry mum, I'll sort the lazy sod out when I'm a bit bigger'.

So today is finally the end of dog sitting. I'm currently waiting for MIL to collect pup. It's been awful. My mother came down with shingles so was too poorly to take him out and My man child didn't bother to on his days off. My daughter had her first set of jabs so was feeling under the weather. I haven't even been able to show her any of her toys because the dog instantly jumps up assuming they are for him or lurking near her looking like he wants to grab them.

These last 16 days has also left me wondering about the stability of my relationship. I stopped any cleaning whilst pup is here as there's no point and I've received multiple remarks off my partner about how easy I have it being at home all day (even seriously said it to my mother too) and as I said were getting a cleaner he actually said 'but that's your job, and your shirking from doing that too!'

Then to top it off, received a letter this morning saying I need a disability assessment for my DLA. And now feeling anxious and like shit.

Thanks for all your support during these last few weeks, it's been amazing and shows just how wonderful a community mums net can be.

You'll be seeing me in the relationships forum soon whilst I ponder how to handle things with my partner!

Please start a new post in relationships.

Thank fuck the dog is gone, but you really need to focus on dealing with your dick of a partner now.

The whole 'you have it easy at home' and the digs about the cleaner clearly spell out that he has zero respect - or even basic understanding of your role at home - and for that alone, I would be questioning how to move forward.

You have a tiny baby and of course you need stability right now, I get that. But he is a selfish wanker and things will only get worse. Please start a new thread and take some advice and support.

And in the meantime YYY to expressing milk and planning a couple of evenings out.

I totally agree with Jaded above.

Courage, OP. We're all still here whether you want us or not .

Hey everyone! I name changed as was going to post a new thread in relationships but realised you lot know the background and can't be bothered to change back!

Right so- me and DP had it out and I'm pleased to tell you that he is 100000 times better! Feel like more of a team now ????

Now as for MIL. After an incident there the dog jumped across the room onto me where I was feeding baby and chucking my (luckily now gone cold) dinner all over us and landing straight on top of the baby, and seeing MIL's absolute non reaction (no telling him off nothing) to the incident I've asked her not to bring the dog over to my house anymore as I am not comfortable with him being around baby. She's decided to take it personally and not see baby at all(!!!!) I don't even know where to begin with how self centred she is being. Would most people not just respect that decision given the evidence of the dogs behaviour with her lack of discipline?!! Oh well to be honest, it's only her missing out. I get to enjoy baby every day! I just would have thought she would have respected my decision and not being dog over. I'm not giving in. If she's going to throw a strop because she can't get her own way then that's her choice.

Sounds like a result to me OP- no MIL to deal with. There is no rationalising with some people. . Well done on sorting out your DP!