Its BurningBridges whose dog died 10 weeks ago - am I really getting a rescue next week? Worried.

[BurningBridges]

Hi everyone, old friends who helped me when Pickle died on 10th March, and anyone new coming in to read. To update, Pickle was 5 years old cockerpoo, had to be put to sleep after developing necrotising pancreatitis after an exploratory op. We still blame ourselves for allowing the initial operation, and also think we should have given him another chance after his relapse. The grief has been all consuming.

So, 10 weeks on, I have accepted a new job, 3 days a week. And tseen a rescue dog that we all loved - this is after DH said no more dogs - made enquiries about him and hey, he's ready now and now we are having a home check next week. I feel my life has been thrown into chaos - by me. When we got Pickle 5+ years ago as a puppy we had 3 months to prepare from confirmed pregnancy to the date we got him. Now we are looking at a 2 year old mongrel. I feel so overwhelmed. I am out of the house from 7.30 to 4pm at least one day a week, maybe 2, so am putting some dog walking pals in place to help - but I would have preferred to take care of him myself. What will his needs be? And I need to fit in training.

DH is retiring next year but that means over a year of trying to sort out additional care for dog.

Have I made a real mess of this? Should we have waited longer? Is 10 weeks ok to go from caring for a precious beloved pet, and him being PTS in your arms, to saying oh yeah lets get a rescue dog even though I have just started new job?

Oh burning

With every kindness intended, you really do seem to be expecting things to happen very fast. DDog is probably completely shell shocked by the past few weeks. I know it's hard, particularly with DC's in the house who are keen to get to know him, but I would be leaving him to his own devices under the table, unless I could lie under there and sit quietly with him.
Feeding wise, as a PP said NatureDiet can be gently warmed in the microwave. Perhaps try feeding him a spoonful at a time, either from your hand or on a plastic plate (I've known many rescues who are frightened by the sound of stainless steel bowls) FWIW I had a rescue lurcher who had been appallingly starved previously. Far from being greedy, she was the fussiest dog I have ever owned and it took years to wean her off of Bakers Complete before she would eat well and happily with my other dogs.
I know that eating poo is a particular worry for you but really, it's pretty standard for starving dogs IME Also if he's been fed poor quality food previously, it does tend to come out in pretty much the same state as it went in
I've no experience with allergies I'm afraid so hope you can get some light shed on that elsewhere, but please don't be too hard on yourself :)

I think it's really common for animals who've previously not had enough food to be really fussy about what they eat - it is bizarre though! One of our cats was living on the street, eating out of bins before he adopted us and he's now ridiculously fussy and will often turn up his nose at food and walk away. He's in fantastic condition now but it took several weeks for him to look like he had a family caring for him rather than still starving on the streets

this article has some useful advice, especially about taking things really slowly at first

We started to fill the dog-shaped hole in the house very quickly too. The first one came over from Ireland, and I said, don't worry, I enjoy the work of rehab. 18 months later, we have a dog who is far more sure of himself, and now really needs to be hauled into place. He is a lovely dog, but still very nervous and growly and a bit snappy. Aaaaghhhh... The pup is lovely, but nervous and snappy. We have a house full of teeth which needs careful management.

The Irish rescue wouldn't eat either, nor would he make a sound. He thought you were throwing things at him when they were treats, and he skulked about hiding himself and making himself very very small.

Be kind to yourself! Got to rush out.

Thank you all. I am not managing anything very well today, sitting here sobbing (quietly so as not to upset the dog), yes we are expecting way too much from this poor dog, and now with the possibility that DD may be allergic to him - well - I usually cope with everything but I am so low, I wasn't expecting to feel so useless. It really is like when I bought my first child home!

Not sure if I have made clear that this is a Romanian rescue dog? Maybe I have, anyway, sorry if I am repeating myself. The rescue put positive stories and pictures on their website, describing the dogs as "love bugs" and "cuddle monsters" who wag their tails excitedly when they see humans and enjoy good food, they are always pictured asleep in a comfy bed or running around with other dogs. The lady who came to do the home check went on to tell us that these dogs never have any real problems because they are "grateful" to have been rescued which I thought was an odd thing to say. DDog was with another foster placement for only 3 days before we got him but when we turned up at the house to collect him, it was clear he really loved them, and they really loved him and they said everything had been perfect during their 72 hours.

basildon that is a big help thank you, that is interesting, I can already see some things we'd been doing wrong. I also looked at the link on feeding, actually the foster lady did mention about these dogs not being used to feeding bowls so I will try some more crockery! He's refusing to go in the garden today because we put a parasol up and some washing out. He is a poor boy. Do you want to see him?

The poor little boy probably doesn't know whether he's coming or going - last weeks he probably thought he'd found his family then 3 days later he's moved again - I'd be confused and he's a dog ! I think you just need to give him lots of time - cook a chicken and hand feed him tiny bits to encourage him to come and sit with you and yes please to pictures.

It's so hard when you want to make it better but nothing seems to help.:(

I second what others have said that poo eating is very often a sign of stress, nothing else and will resolve in time.

If he feels safe under the table that's is the best place for him to stay, but if at all possible sit on the floor near him in short bursts, or lie down with your back to him ( not easy I know when other stuff going on). Also if he does come out and takes fright its important that you don't react, just ignore him and allow him to back under the table without comment IYSWIM

I once had a dog here who was so frightened would not allow anyone to approach but eventually when I lay on the floor curled up with my back to him he came over for a sniff and that was a huge breakthrough. It's emotional stuff :(

my dog died a few weeks before my first daughter was born. When she was born I cried because I didn't love her as much as my dog

I am worried this may not be the right dog for you. Perhaps a puppy would be better?

Friday. I can imagine that. I can also imagine you loved her to pieces after that, but my grief on losing my first dog was shocking - I thought I'd gone mad. So I completely understand. And yes, a puppy would have been ideal but this dog to his credit can be left, I am about to start a new job albeit only a couple of days a week, and I only have a dog walker once a day, so no good for a puppy.

Floral we have been told not to offer him anything else at all so he knows that he has his chance to eat, he has to eat his own food and that's it. I know that sounds harsh, I never did that with my other dog and fed him scraps and treats that led to the illness that contributed to his death, so I am paranoid about getting it right now.

But anyway, lets have a picture - you can see his scared little face here - a rare foray on to the sofa:

On the sofa already - that's fantastic even if it is only a short stay :)

He does look tense, but what an adorable boy - I love him! ( are those very big cushions or is he tiny?! )

With all due respect to people who are doing a valuable job under difficult circumstances, this doesn't sound like the best rescue I've ever come across

Anyway, what's done is done now and you have a dog that has been slightly misrepresented to you (he looks gorgeous BTW :)) but is now yours. The question now is what do you do about it.

I had meant to mention in my first post about DDog2. He was a replacement for my beloved BlackDog, albeit a different breed, sex, temperament etc. It took me months to warm to him (and he had the cute puppy thing going for him in his favour) as he always seemed, I don't know...... a poor substitute I suppose?

So it's not surprising that you are viewing DDog as less than perfect (which lets face it, is quite true) It will take time (if I'm being absolutely honest, DDog2 is 2 now and my main feeling towards him now is benign ambivalence rather than outright love- that's DDog3's place :))

Give him time and space, see if you can get DD's allergies under control, then reassess in a couple of weeks. I bet by then things will look so much rosier :)

I love terrierdog far more than labdog

I am kind to labdog but I absolutely adore the ground my terrier walks on

Bubble they are double size cushions but he is actually quite small, imagine an urban fox, that sort of size (and just as thin).

Having removed the parasol from the garden just now, and taken the washing down, he seemed prepared to walk into the garden, but refused on account of the washing basket still being nearby. removed that and rushed out for a much needed poo, which he didn't eat. He seemed a lot happier after that. (He was so scared of the parasol/washing combo that rather than use the garden he pooed on the floor when DH came down this morning.)

Feeling a bit calmer now, thank you everyone. If only he'd eat his food. I know I have said no scraps or treats or additional stuff like chicken, but if he goes on like this, I wonder will I need a food supplement powder from the vet?

(I removed the basket and he rushed out for a poo)

You're doing a wonderful thing and your new dog will come to trust you. Trust is much deeper than love for a dog, I think.

We're 4 weeks in with our rescue (Ireland). All was going well until yesterday when he shot down the field and completely disappeared . Long story short, he followed a lady out of the field, into the village. I'm not sure why she didn't stay in the field to see if someone appeared....strange...but at least he had his name tag on and they could return him after my DH, three children and my Dad joined me in a search of the moors.

How is he with the vet? Is that another terrifying thing, or can he cope with it? Definitely worth getting him checked over, if you haven't already, and then arranging to go in for weekly/fortnightly weigh ins until he gets to a good weight.

This is my Rommy boy soon after he arrived; wary and still mucky from the trip. He's so lovely now, I wouldn't be without him. He's under my desk at the moment, eagerly awaiting his lunchtime walk.

I hope your boy starts to settle for you, and you get to the bottom of your daughter's allergies soon.

I'd ring the vet and ask about feeding him chicken - when we first got our dog from Battersea ( 15 weeks old) he wouldn't eat anything and we had to feed him from human plates with a fork to get him to take anything - he's 5 now and has wonderful table manners and eats off a fork beautifully ! Unless the dog is allergic to chicken it won't hurt him . He looks really cute .

I know you've been told not too feed him anything but his own food, but as long as you feed him consistently, he won't know that nicer foods aren't dog food! Could you just meet him where he's at? Give him tasty bits under the table and coax him out by gradually putting the bits further away from him.

i think I will have to check his weight myself or call vet or whatever the rescue want to do, and I'd love to feed him chicken - let me see what they say and will update!

(PS - DD home now, he's much happier)

He looks lovely! It is a big shock getting a new member of the household, especially one of a different species! It will take a while for all of you to settle into a routine. When Boris first came to live with us, we wondered for months and months if we had made the right decision. As the Irish dog comes into his own, I wonder if he really suits being in a family with children. Anyway, we are his home and have to find ways to make life as good for him as we can.

Dearheart thank you for telling us about Monty, and Tiger, I am with you - I think we are going to have tussles with this one - he's bigger than our first dog but still wants to put his face in your dinner. Difference is, he can reach.

We had a good afternoon once DDs came home, all went well, dog played, ate all his own dog food, slept on sofa, walked up and down the road, then he wanted a poo in the garden and as I opened the door a chair made a noise. That was it - back under the very back of the table. Now he's refusing to go out and I know full well he desperately needs to go. Chicken is on the cards by the way everyone just need the OK from the rescue, as I am only officially fostering I can't feed him anything without their say so.

On my allergy thread, the GP gave DD lots of medication and we hope this will help, she didn't think allergy testing was necessary.

Morning all. Well, last Friday night we got him and this Friday night he's going back. He needs a vet, has been passing more and more blood each day this week - then last night one motion was only blood poor little thing - so the charity we got him from are arranging this; a volunteer is coming to pick him up (we've met her before she's nice, did our home check) but we don't know if he will come back tonight.

He has only been eating sporadically and we thought that might be normal because of shock and previous starvation but he's lost weight and is now existing on literally a couple of mouthfuls a day; if I put food down he might look at the bowl once then walk away, or eat a bite and then rush to the garden with diahorrea. Mind you, he did manage a scrambled egg this morning very hungrily.

Could be anything, maybe a virus? He's very susceptible not least because of his low weight. Oh dear

Oh dear, you poor thing, how distressing for you and him. Did he come out from under the table? Is he nice?

Sometimes he comes out from under the table! And he is very nice, but so scared. Hates aeroplanes ...!

Oh Bridges, you're having such a tough start with this pup. Hopefully the vets can figure out how to help him. It doesn't seem fair that you and the rescue have done so much to get him here and now you're going through this.