owner might want her dog back - advice please

[troubliphone]

A couple of months ago a friend of mine had to return to the US quite suddenly and couldn't take her dog. She wasn't sure where she would be living and, in any case, didn't have the 3k it would have cost to ship him. He's 12 and a very large dog (90 pounds). We said we would look after him till she got herself sorted. She did say that if our DS became very attached she wouldn't reclaim him.

She is now back in her house in the US and I'm going to speak to her later. I think she might say she's ready to ship him back.

I can't bear it. He is so happy here with three walks on the beach every day, we both work from home so constant company - if she ships him back it would be so stressful for him, he was only shipped over in November last year so it's twice in a year. He's so old and finds it hard to get comfortable. Plus he'd think I'd abandoned him. He would be in NYC not sure if he would have outside space or not. He lives for his walks.

I'm trying to keep out of the equation that I love him. He is a dog amongst dogs, a beautiful, gentle, kind soul.

I don't know what to say to her. He is her dog and she loves him and has given him a fantastic life but I can't send him back, crated for hours, the stress of the flight. I might add, she is a very nice and intelligent woman so it's not like she's going to be unreasonable. I just don't know what to say or do.

What shall I do [sad face]

Tell her what you have said here....

Ultimately you'll have to send him back if she asks - he's not your dog. Sad as that is, it's the only legal thing you can do.

Tell her you love him and really want to keep him. Ask if she would please think about letting you have him, and come back to you in a week or so, and if she doesn't want to after thinking about it, then you will send him over.

Well being crated on a plane to go home would be a one off for a few hours. It's not as if he'd be going back to a life of misery. They have Central Park in NY for walks I guess.

All you can do is say he can happily stay for good as far as you're concerend. She might be glad and bite your hand off at the offer.

I wouldn't try to predict the future. She might decide that life would be simpler without him, so long as he has a good home with you. So you need to tell her that you love him and would really love to continue taking care of him for her.

I wouldn't answer the phone.

You're projecting though, aren't you. He wouldn't think you had abandoned him, dogs just don't think like that. Did I he pine when you first took him in? And he doesn't know or care when he was last shipped.

Yes, say what you said here.
AND that you love him.

I hope he will be allowed to stay, but if not, you do know that that will be harder on you than him, don't you?

I would be fine about giving him back to her in this country - well I mean I would be sad but ok. It's just that I just don't want to ship him off. The vet said it would be madness to ship him and actually the owner told me it took him ages to get over the flight here.

Thanks for all the advice - I do see the reality and I do understand that dogs are optimistic creatures and after one day of discomfort he will be with an owner who loves him.

I will tell her we are happy to keep him and see where the conversation goes - it may not even be an issue. I'm not sure she has a spare 3k to bring him back anyway.

I might possibly offer to fly her over to stay for a while and say goodbye to him. Is that madness?

Thanks for the kind words and too - I hadn't realised I would feel like this about him. I haven't had a dog since I was a kid so when I took him I was just doing her a favour because she was so stressed about what to do with him.

[bone]