I've made a mistake. And I feel awful and like a bad owner.

[Keepingittogether27]

PLEASE. I have made a huge mistake, and that takes a lot for me to say this. Everybody has told me this but I have refused to accept it but I really need help. I have a beagle x basset. I researched the breed. My friend has a beagle, and she is a lovely calm dog and I thought I could cope. She was a wonderful puppy and google seemed to point us in the direction of a beagle. To
possibly calm it down we got one crossed with a basset hound.

OH MY GOD. This dog is worse than Marley and me. I don't know where the lazy basset is in him. Cause I've never known a dog with such energy. Please don’t get me wrong I love him. I don't shout or hit him. If I have to punish him I put him in the kitchen. I leave the room when he’s wound me up and take a minute. But I’m losing my mind. I was wondering if you could give me tips on training? I’ve had dogs before, most recently a border collie (which I was told was the hardest dog) who I found easy work but this boy is something else.

There’s many things that he does that upsets me. But obviously it is my fault, leaving things out or leaving doors open, but sometimes I can’t fathom why he’s behaving like this when he knows he will get into trouble. In my weakest moments I cry because I don’t want to get rid of him and I feel like I’ve failed him because he’s made me so upset. I can’t leave anything, anywhere in fear he will get it. I left a nappy on my child's changing table behind a closed door whilst I bathed him. I came out of the bathroom and its there, ripped up, and all over my floor. HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN? This isn't the first time. In fact I can cope with that.

The worst thing is how attached he is to me. When I read that beagles become attached I thought that would be fine because I am a stay at home mum and he wouldn't be alone much. Boy was I stupid. I can’t have a second. If he’s not in the same room as me he wines. He follows me into every room. If I am sat down he is wedged against me. If I move him he will come straight back. If I leave him downstairs behind the baby gate he pees or poos. Even if he chose to stay downstairs after I called him, EVEN when he’s just been outside to go to the toilet.

I walk him for up to 2 hours a day. Once in the morning and another time at night, off the lead. In open fields. Then make sure I play (or do some training) with him for at minimum, an hour whilst my son sleeps and give him a KONG or a toy or a chew when I’m playing with my baby. But he just eats what’s in it and then tries to sit on me or pulls on my clothes or gets so excited that he runs around the room so he knocks my boy over. And if he’s not doing that. He is chasing the cat, sometimes out of the door and won’t come back.

PLEASE HELP. I read all the books. Overused google and even run a beagle breeder (we didn't buy him from here) to see if this would be the right dog. I thought I could handle this but I just can’t. I don't want to give him up I just need help. I wanted my baby to grow up with dogs like I did (I grew up with quite a vicious, energetic lab and I loved her so I thought this guy would be fine). My baby loves him and vice versa.
I can't decide if he's just too daft for me or too smart. Like this dog rolls over, spins, does all the tricks. But doesn't know the meaning of no (or pretends not to).

Thank you.

I have what we think is a beagle cross. She's about a year old now, and I've had her about 6 months. She is exactly as you describe your dog :)

I think the first thing you need to do is develop a bit of empathy because your dog is really stressed and worried. He's behaving like this because
a) he's still a baby
b) he's super brainy and gets easily bored
c) he's totally reliant on you and is terrified of being alone
d) he has no concept of right and wrong because he's a dog, and they aren't moral creatures

The above advice to address separation anxiety is excellent. Spend your hour training on addressing this problem (although you'll be more successful more quickly if you break it up into several small sessions throughout the day).

Scent games are also a great idea, and walks can and should be slow wanders sometimes to allow them to really savour the smells. I recently spayed mine and while recovering she was going bonkers cooped up at home, so we spent half an hour walking a seven minute loop in the woods as slowly as possible. She really got into the idea of it :)

Above all, he's very very young. No dog, at 8 months, is perfectly behaved. He's still a work in progress (and he loves you lots :)).

Firstly please ignore Mulberry there is no pack hierarchy in domestic dogs.

Your dog is showing classic signs of separation anxiety, he seems anxious and needs a lot of reassurance and positive reinforcement of separation to overcome this anxiety. You've done exactly the right thing in not locking him in the crate - crates should be safe havens not prisons. See advice sheet 6 on this link
www.apbc.org.uk/info/APBC_Behaviour_Advice_Information_Sheets

First of all build up a collection of puzzle feeders - kong wobblers are good as are kongs, and for some dogs rawhides or large uncooked beef shin bones from the butcher (depending on how sensitive your dog's tummy might be). You can also freeze small pieces of hotdog or ham in 'iceblocks. Prepare some of these items.

If your dog gets dry food, feed it only from the kong wobbler, not from a dish. He needs mental stimulation and to learn to positively occupy himself. Feed him in a room where you are not present and make sure its a positive and rewarding experience by using the wobbler to engage him. Start leaving him in a room by himself for a few minutes several times a day - always give hime a chew/puzzle toy to occupy himself when you do this and He'll soon start to realise that when you aren't there he gets something fab to occupy him.

Ditto when you go upstairs with the baby - don't make a fuss of the dog, just hand over an iceblock/puzzle feeder/chew etc, wait a minute til he''s occupied and go upstairs.

Start to to relaxation-training with him, often with our dogs when they're calm and snoozing we ignore them, and then give them attention when they pester us - this reinforces the pestering behaviour. Start spending a few minutes stroking him when he's calm in his bed. If he pesters you for attention, send him to bed and then reward him with attention when he stays there and is calm. You'll need to spend a few minutes several times each day sitting by his bed and rewarding his calm behaviour in bed. Just hang out with him. If he gets overexcited then, move away and ignore him.
www.vcahospitals.com/main/pet-health-information/article/animal-health/dog-behavior-and-training-teaching-calm-settle-and-relaxation-training/183

Keep rewarding him for hanging out in his bed and ignore him when he leans on you or pesters you - even eye contact can be rewarding. Similarly when you go out or come home, ignore hime for 10 minutes - make your presence less satisfying for him and give him lots of other things to do, and he'll gradually start to self-settle.

He is just a teenager and training often regresses at this age so I'd focus on getting his training started as much as you can with a small baby to look after as well. I'd also hold off neutering until he's more mature as it is linked to increasing some behavioural issues including anxiety/fear and is positively correlated with separation anxiety syndrome so a painful experience that removes testosterone (confidence) may be detrimental at the moment.
www.apbc.org.uk/articles/neuteringmaledogs

Do you have a cage? He sounds like he needs a safe place to go to and calm down.

When you bath your baby, pop him in the cage.
When he gets overexcited, pop him in the cage.
Also, I would reduce his excercise time because he is getting used to having high levels of energy.
Carry on with the training - maybe you need to do some agilitiy training. But again, minimise this to a shorter period of time.

Teaching a dog to be calm is hard, but the cage is the first step. Call in the dog behavourist too, that's where I turned when I couldn't work out what to do with an anxious dog.

Cage training only works if the dog enjoys spending time in the crate as a safe place. Locking him in a crate, and then isolating him by going to do something else only teaches him the crate is a punishment. Crates are vastly misused - please be careful otherwise you'll reinforce his separation anxiety.

He needs positive relaxation training to alleviate his anxiety and lots of enrichment when he is left so that he's rewarded for being alone.

As others have said, he is at a tricky age and also sounds very anxious and needy. Definitely good advice to teach him to settle in/on a specific bed or mat and respond to the settle cue. He needs to develop coping strategies for being alone and this needs to be done very slowly and kept really positive, so that he gradually builds confidence. Basically, you need to keep him at a level just below his threshold for anxiety at all times and build up the separation in tiny, tiny increments. If you go over his threshold and trigger the anxiety, you'll need to go back a couple of steps to build his confidence back up.

Two useful books to read for understanding separation anxiety and how to treat it are:

Don't Leave Me, by Nicole Wilde. Which is an easy read and has good practical solutions and a programme to work with.

[[http://www.amazon.co.uk/Treating-Separation-Anxiety-Malena-Demartini-Price/dp/1617811432/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1427623071&sr=1-1&keywords=treating+separation+anxiety+in+dogs Treating Separation Anxiety in Dogs, by Malene Demartini-Price. Which is more indepth, as it was initially designed to help professionals work with SA cases, but is extremely useful for pet owners as well.

Anxious, clingy dogs are incredible intense to live with and it can and does get on top of you sometimes. I have a young Lurcher lad who was very similar at the same age. I've followed the advice in the books I've linked to and now, at almost 2 years old he's a different dog. He still doesn't like to be left for long, but he doesn't even lift his head when I go to the toilet or upstairs these days, whereas at 8 months he would scream the place down as soon as I went out of sight. I also leave him twice a day for school runs, when he has a green feeder (spikey dog bowl) of kibble, plus a frozen kong to occupy him while I'm gone and he's fine. The longest he's been left is an hour, because that's at the top end of his threshold, but we've found he's happy to be left for longer in his car crate, which is useful on occasion (although only through the cooler months unfortunately).

I would also hold off neutering for a while, as it won't make him calmer or more relaxed and if you go ahead it will essentially remove some of the hormones he needs for confidence.

My boy was neutered at 18 months old and I was extremely worried about it, having been advised by two different behaviourists (one APBC, one independent) that it was a bad idea, but the rescue he came from gave me no choice at that point. As it turns out, it hasn't had a negative effect on his behaviour at home (although his behaviour towards other dogs is a different matter ) but I wouldn't have liked to get it done any earlier and if given the choice, I would have waited until he was fully mature (probably about 3 years for his breed and size) or preferably kept him entire.

Other things to try, that may or may not help (all of them work on some, but not all dogs) are:

• Dap diffuser and/or collar.

• Dorwest, Scullcap and Valerian. This has been the most successful remedy for my dog.

• Zylkene. Another one that works for my lad and really helped when he had to go into kennel.s

• Pet Remedy diffuser and/or spray. This works better than DAP for my dog, but he was separated from his mother at birth, so we think that might be why he doesn't respond as well to the DAP pheromone as other dogs.

You can also try some Rescue Remedy (buy at Boots or Tesco) either dropped into in his water bowl or dripped straight into his mouth just before stressful situations.

The most important tools in your toolbox are going to be patience and empathy though. It's hard, I know from experience, but it really does help to keep reminding yourself that they are not just being a pain, they are genuinely really anxious and stressed.

As for him pulling at your clothes, sitting on you and generally being demanding. This comes under the category or self/impulse control and can be remedied fairly easily by just making it far more rewarding for him to do the opposite. The more self-control exercises you do with him the better his general level of self-control will become and this will help with his SA treatment as well. There are some ideas here, here and here but also things as simple as him having to sit and wait before being released through a doorway, sitting and waiting nicely for his dinner or treats, leave-it and wait can have a big effect.

It will get better if you get stuck in and do the work now. I went through a phase of thinking I would never be able to go upstairs in peace again, but now I actually smile when I come back downstairs and there he is still snoozing in his bed. It's slow progress and quite labour intensive in the early stages, but once you reach a certain point it's as if something suddenly clicks and they make rapid progress after that.

My lad doesn't have a crate. He was crate trained as a pup, but we didn't replace it once he'd outgrown it, partly because he would have needed one that took up half the room and partly because we found he was far more settled when not closely contained. They don't suit all dogs and some dogs with SA will injure themselves trying to escape. You have to make a judgement based on your own dog's reaction.

Instead he is only ever left with plenty of things to keep him busy. He has a kong wobbler, green feeder, treat ball, buster cube and various other treat-type toys and we always have a batch of frozen kongs available, as well as treats like the Whimzees XL toothbrushes that take ages for them to gnaw their way through. We also save cardboard boxes and tubes, because he loves shredding those and we also seal them up and hide treats inside for him to find.

With him being a combination of Basset and Beagle, you could even try hinding kongs or treats and leaving a drag scent-trail for him to follow to find them. That would occupy his brain and be highly rewarding. Someone upthread suggested Sprinkles too - I think that would be brilliant for a dog with his mix of breeds.

Well, I never wanted a cage until I was asked to give it a try and honestly it was the best thing we did. We don't have to lock our dog in, we have a blanket over the top and she goes in willingly whenever she wants a little bit of space. It totally sorted out her separation anxiety. We just reduced her options by shutting the living room door etc when we went out/upstairs at night and leave her to go in her cage by herself. She loves it and when we thought we'd take it away, she was a bit lost without it so it's now a permanent fixture.

popalot I don't dispute that - it's definitely worth a try for some dogs and for some it will make a huge difference, it obviously worked for your girl and that's great. It's just not a panacea for all dogs with SA.