Struggling with an elderly dog

[nailsathome]

I have a German Shepherd who will be 14 this year. I've had her since she was a puppy and she has always been my baby.

Over the past year, she has started showing signs of dementia and has separation anxiety. She has had urinary incontinence since she was spayed but over the past couple of weeks this has deteriorated and her medication no longer works. My house stinks of piss and she is constantly covered in it but insists on being as close to me as possible whenever I am home. I have a hypersensitive sense of smell and I am struggling to bear being at home.

I am 31 weeks pregnant and have SPD so it is very difficult for me to clear up after her and bath her as regularly as she needs it. I also have a 3 year old who has to be moved out of the way of urine puddles every day.

She is partially blind and deaf and sometimes suffers with her joints.

I feel so horrible to say that I am finding it difficult to be around her. She always seems to be standing or laying in the exact place I want to go and I am snappy and irritable with her.

Does anyone have any strategies for living with an elderly dog or am I just a really horrible person for feeling like this?

We currently have three oldies. The most important thing is that you should be in regular, frequent contact with your vet. You've mentioned that her incontinence has worsened and that she has a joint problem. I would be taking her to the vet, as this could be a treatable UTI, and I'd be discussing options around her joint/arthritis care, such as a NSAID like Previcox, along with other options.

In more general terms, I'd be regularly discussing her QOL with your vet, taking into account all her issues/symptoms. You and your vet between you need to come to an honest understanding of where you think the end point is in terms of her life, and what will be threshold for this.

With oldies, there's an interesting and complex balance between managing and treating individual issues (such as the arthritis) and treating the whole package of health deterioration, and QOL. Preparing yourself to give her a smooth, pain free end of life seems to me to be one of the most important things we can do for a much loved companion.

On a practical note with her coat, can you have longer hair clipped and ask your DH to do bathing/grooming while you are pregnant?

Thank you for your reply. We have another appointment with the vets next week. They have said there is nothing they can do regarding the vision and hearing as well as the dementia. Hopefully an alternative will work for the incontinence. She is always so excited and spritely when we go to the vets so they don't see her as she normally is!

The difficulty I have with OH helping out is that she is my dog from a previous relationship and so I feel bad that he has moved in and has to clear up after her. He has absolutely no problem with it whatsoever (and is in fact giving her a bath as we speak) but I don't feel comfortable with it.

She is long haired and I keep her coat mid-length but I keep it clipped short around her back end.

Poor dog (and poor you). There's a product called Vivitonin (sp?) which is supposed to help with canine dementia - I have no experience of it personally but friends have said it helped their dogs. What about dog nappies? Again I have no experience, but it could help. What would you say her quality of life is like? It can't be nice for her being incontinent. Being blind and deaf probably doesn't help her clinginess. I hope you can find something to help her.

It may be worth having a chat with the vet about Quality of Life. Old dogs can be quite hard work, like puppies but on the way out. We have an oldie too. We are just trying to maintain her weight and keeping her as pain free as possible. our vet told us that most dogs will go on and on and on if they're left to it, but it probably just isn't very nice for them.

She wouldn't keep a nappy on, she'd eat it!

Some days she looks sad and finds it difficult to get up and about but then others you wouldn't know that she was so old.

Incontinent dogs which suddenly get worse, despite medication previously being effective, need to be checked out because it can be a result of infection as suggested already, or increased urine production. That could be due to lots of things, but if, for example, she has kidney or liver disease then this could set things in a different context.

While quality of life is paramount, I always stress to owners in your situation that it is OK to say "enough" when your house is constantly soiled. It isn't nice for the owners or the dogs to be wet and smelly and uncomfy all the time.

I think frank chats with the vet about how hard you are finding it to cope would be the next step. It helps us to know exactly where you are at - I really don't mind owners saying to me "if this can be fixed or improved then we go on, but if not then it's time to call it a day" - there's no one right way to deal with these complex geriatric cases.

Honesty is the best policy. And of course you'll get support here. X