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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

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Original poster

Pup is going to a new home... It's the right thing to do, I know this, but I'm so bloody upset!

20 replies

JustBeingJuliet · 22/03/2015 23:22

Had threads about 11mth old JRT and his anxiety/aggression issues. Have found someone who wants to take him, lovely set up where he will be away from his triggers (dogs/children/strangers/cars etc) and will have loads of space to run and chill. It's the best thing for him, I'm 100% sure of this, as the alternative is PTS, but I've done nothing but cry since making the decision yesterday. I can't look at him or fuss him without the waterworks starting, and I keep thinking that I can't do this, but I also can't deal with his behaviour :(

I haven't told Ds yet, because I can't bear to see his little face when I tell him his dog isn't going to live here anymore. He loves that dog despite having been snarled at and full on gone for and will be heartbroken. On Thursday, I tried to prepare him and explained that it might be best for pup if he lived somewhere else, where he was less likely to bite someone and get into trouble, and he sobbed for 4 hours, then got himself a half day exclusion on Friday because he was angry and upset and kicked off at school (he has ADHD, dyspraxia and possible ASD, but because of this, he struggles to follow instructions and seems completely unable to leave the dogs be when I tell him to, which is partly why I feel so uneasy with him around a snappy, unpredictable dog). I just don't know how to tell him. He's going to hate me for it isn't he? Pup is going at the end of the week, which coincides with us going on holiday, so I have told ds that he's going to a friend whilst we're away, which he's fine with. My thinking is that when we get back, and he's been without him for a week already, I'll say that pup is so settled that he wants to live there now, as there's nothing there to scare him and he's happy. Would that be ok? New owners have said we can visit whenever we want - is that likely to make it better or worse for ds?

Sat here crying as I type this :( I've never given up on a dog in my life and I'm devastated that I've had to admit I can't deal with him. I feel like I've let him, and Ds, down.

OP posts:

gamerchick · 22/03/2015 23:25

Sounds like a good plan.

I've been reading and you've done enough. . Stop beating yourself up.

I probably wouldn't take him to visit though but you know him.

Original poster

JustBeingJuliet · 23/03/2015 00:08

Thank you. I'm struggling because, despite his antisocial behaviour, I've bonded with this little chap far more than I have with any other dog, and it's a bloody hard decision to let him go. If I didn't have Ds to think about, I wouldn't even be considering getting rid, but I can't take the risk of him being bitten.

OP posts:

gamerchick · 23/03/2015 00:18

Would it help if you kept tabs on him and maybe seeing how much happier he might be may help?

You did everything and he's not being put down despite it. That's pretty admirable man.

Sometimes some beings need a different kind of help we can't give at that time. It's ok.

Original poster

JustBeingJuliet · 23/03/2015 00:30

Yeah I'll keep tabs on him; its a friend of a friend he's going to and she doesn't live more than a 10 minute drive away, so I can pop over and see him from time to time. Undecided whether or not it'd be a good idea for ds though, but I know he'll want to.

OP posts:

Springtimemama · 23/03/2015 02:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

JustBeingJuliet · 23/03/2015 07:09

Sadly I'm allergic to cats! We do have another dog already, but the pup is ds's special little friend, albeit one that tolerates him as oppose to liking him! Big dog is going to be very over cuddled once pup is gone, but she will quite happily take that!

OP posts:

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 23/03/2015 11:13

Would you consider another new dog?

Original poster

JustBeingJuliet · 23/03/2015 11:35

Yes I think at some point I'll consider another dog, as I like having two, but would be very wary as I've seen how overbearing ds can be with a pup (big dog hasn't got any aggression in her and will take as much love as he gives her, but not every dog is as tolerant) and I'd hate to make a mistake again. I think we'll leave it a while and then maybe look at rescues.

OP posts:

Strongerthanyoucounton · 23/03/2015 11:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Aked · 23/03/2015 12:04

You have done much more for this little dog than many others would. You have NOT let him down. I really hope it works out for him.

Get ds some chickens. I've just got some chickens and I love them :)

GrannyGoggles · 23/03/2015 16:22

Juliet, I'm so sorry that you've had such a tough time, and although you know you're doing the right thing it's hard.

Your son's reaction may surprise you, he may be more accepting and pragmatic than you're anticipating.

You're right to wait a while and ponder what's next for you re dogs. And chickens, maybe not a bad idea. . .

Good luck

Original poster

JustBeingJuliet · 23/03/2015 18:26

Would love chickens but there's a restrictive covenant on the house that says I can't keep livestock

I think we'll stay a one dog household for now and rethink at a later date. Big dog is going to pine though, once pups gone, as they get on so well and she likes having a friend.

OP posts:

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 23/03/2015 19:04

Our deeds say we can't keep livestock and nor can our neighbours. Our neighbours have had chickens for years and nobody has ever complained. Sometimes we get free eggs.

Letsgoforawalk · 23/03/2015 20:49

I thought my kids would be heartbroken when our cat died. Vet said "give them a week they'll be asking for a dog"
It was less than a day.

BlessedAndGr8fulNoInLaws4Xmas · 24/03/2015 23:16

Juliet many many house deeds prevent the keeping of chickens and many many people with those same house deeds happily keep chickens for a very long time .
( me being one of them).
As long as you keep your neighbours in the picture there shouldn't be a problem.
Don't rule it out - chickens can be really therapeutic to watch and listen to .

jesy · 25/03/2015 10:06

Could you not get a behaviour specialist in to help with the triggers .
It's still only a pup

tabulahrasa · 25/03/2015 10:18

Jesy - the OP has a behaviourist already, this is a longstanding issue and she's had professional help in and it still hasn't resolved.

Original poster

JustBeingJuliet · 25/03/2015 10:27

jesy I've had a behaviourist involved for the last few months and, if anything, his behaviour has got worse! His triggers are everything; kids, dogs, cats, cars, loud noises, buses, bikes, strangers in general, sudden movements, close ups of people faces on TV, his own reflection, the washing machine... It's hard to know which one to tackle first, and I have a 9yo ds who he has shown aggression to, along with my friends, friends kids, my neighbour etc. The only people he's not gone for at some point are me and my dad! I've been bitten several times when I've got in the way of him lunging at someone/something else, and I just cannot have him around my son anymore. He rarely even gives a warning growl, it's just a full on attack. Trust me, I've really tried with this dog :(

OP posts:

jesy · 25/03/2015 15:01

Hope you didn't think I was being nasty, I've had issues with my dog and can understand what a difficult situation you are in .

LokiBuddyBoo1 · 27/03/2015 10:21

Your doing what's right for you and your ds and since you've tried everything and nothing has worked your option to rehome although difficult is the right one for you and the dog so don't feel too bad about it.
In time if you get another dog I'd recommend a whippet,they are great with kids.

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