Its only been 3 weeks, and I feel so guilty,but I really need another dog in my life!

[Tiggs2]

As many of you will know, I lost my beautiful ddog almost three weeks ago now, and it has been a very difficult time. In fact the last few days have been the hardest and, if i'm honest, I think its because this is now the longest period spent without seeing her, as before it was usually two weeks a year when we had a holiday and our close friend looked after her.

We as a family have talked about getting another dog in a few months time, and Its almost given me a little joyful feeling in my heart because I feel that I so need another dog in our family and in my life. I feel so guilty because it has been such a short time, but I cannot imagine the rest of my life without having a dog.
I know that I can never replace her, or compare her as she was a total one off, so clever and gentle and we all loved her dearly.

My dh admitted that he wouldn't mind another female of the same breed but I told him that it wouldn't be fair as I think he would look for some of the same traits, then wouldn't find them as each dog is so different, and I don't think in my heart that I would like the idea of owning another of this same breed if it simply wasn't her.

I have been trying to find Cockerpoo breeders that have lists running as we would be thinking of maybe mid to late June, before getting a new pup, but it has not been an easy task finding many.

My dh and ds have both admitted that they would like to own a Labradoodle, but I have read that they can shed quite a lot of fur, something that I am not very good with at all. If anyone has any knowledge of this breed I would be most grateful.

I know all dogs will shed some fur but because this breed is crossed with a Labrador, some people have ended up with a beautiful adult dog but which loses loads of fur on a regular basis, even though its fur is curly or fleece.

Am I wrong to be thinking about another dog so soon? I haven't even told my friends and family either, just in case they start to think that I am over my loss already, and have moved on, which couldn't be further from the truth. I have moments when my heart feels like it is aching, I miss her so much.

No you're not wrong to think of another dog. It doesn't mean that you didn't adore your previous one.

Would you not think of taking a rescue? There are so many desperately wanting homes. My two are both second hand!

No i don't think it lessens the love of your other dog. You just have to do what is right for you.

Also, getting on waiting lists etc will mean that you'll be waiting a while anyway.

We are currently all heartbroken as my lab bitch was 5 weeks pregnant (health tested, well planned litter, signed p with KCABS etc) with a much longed for litter, when she developed a pyo and had an emergency spay at the weekend. We are all devastated... but we have said to her mentor and breeder to please put us on her waiting list for when her litter sister has a litter in the summer- so an autumn homecoming for new puppy. I don't think I would be emotionally up for a new puppy now, but I know, give it a few months and we will be ready.

You just need to do what makes you happy. Of the people we had on our waiting list for puppies, several had lost labradors- some within only a few weeks and others up to 2 years. Everyone is different.

Just be kind to yourself.

No, you shouldn't feel guilty at the idea of getting another dog or that you would seem to others to have got over your loss. You know how you feel about your old dog and that's all that matters.

You clearly have a lot of love to give some lucky dog and if another dog is what you want, it matters not a jot what others think.

Agree though that a completely different breed is the best idea. With the best will in the world if you get a dog that looks similar to your old dog you will find yourself comparing, and that wouldn't be fare to new dog.

You are not wrong to want another dog.

I am going to try and be very circumspect about what I say about dogs with "poo" or "doodle" at the end of the name. The reasons for you looking at these breeds appear to be the non shedding - the thing is there is no guarantee, you can get the poodle coat - which having a friend with a poodle does need quite a lot of maintenance. They can have the other side of the equation, ie a Labrador or cocker coat ( I know someone with a labradoodle, that has the full on Labrador coat), which obv sheds, or a combination of the two....so needs the maintenance but also sheds.

I also know someone who got a cocker poo that looked very much like a cocker as a puppy, which is what they wanted, but as it matured looked more and more like a poodle.

I don't remember the reasons for you loosing your beloved dog, but the other issue in health testing of these designer breeds...please think v carefully about what breed and not only go for what you like the look of, but also think snout health issues and health testing and do lots and lots of research into what you should be looking for in a breeder ( if you decide to go pedigree)

I hear your pain and empathise. It's not wrong at all and nor is it replacing her.

We lost our boy Smudge last June. He'd been diagnosed with arthritis by a local vet but continued to get worse so we took him to a friend of DS's who is a vet. After a two hour drive she took one look at him walking and told us she was as sure as she could be without further tests that he had osteosarcoma of his paw and that we had 4 weeks maximum with him. We decided against further tests as he was 14 and 3 weeks old. We got the diagnosis on a Friday and by Monday we knew the end had come. We decided we would wait 6 months to a year before we would have a new dog in the house. We lasted weeks. By the end of July we had applied for and successfully been selected to adopted our Mollie, an 8 week old Border Collie, from a rescue charity. I cannot tell you the joy she brings. She will never replace Smudge but she does share some of his traits (possibly not helped by the fact that she found his box contained his ashes and had a little nibble-I couldn't see the funny side at the time but I do now), she is totally her own dog.

Have you considered looking at rescues?

Don't feel guilty. We lost our 4 year old lurcher about 3 1/2 weeks ago and our remaining dog ( a 2.5 yo GSDx) is still pining.
We have started looking around rescues and taken him on a few doggy dates but haven't met anything that has really taken our fancy yet.
I always say to people that when you lose a pet, it leaves a big hole in your life. Part of the hole is dog ( or cat or whatever) shaped and part of it is specific to the pet you have lost. That bit of the hole you can't fill with another pet, but the dog/cat/rabbit shaped bit you can. Does that make sense?
I am certainly not over the loss of our girl, I don't think I will ever be and find myself having a little cry now and again. I too feel a physical pain when I miss her. I hate it almost as much as the fact she is gone.
And I'd second the others urging you to consider a rescue dog. There is a lot of satisfaction in knowing you have saved two lives when you adopt a dog from a rescue- the dog you have taken home and the one that will now be able to move into a safe rescue place or foster home.

If you're worried about shedding, why not get a poodle? Lovely dogs, 3 sizes, no shedding.

On the other hand, these two are looking for homes ...

My old dog died suddenly on a Tuesday and Id got a new dog by Saturday. Just couldn't bare the house being so empty. Dont feel bad.

Have you thought about a cavachon? I have one and no shedding.

I've always said it's testament to the dog that has passed that you feel so empty without him and you should never feel like you are replacing him but that he had such a huge impact on your lives you can't live happily without one.

We got a new dog soon after our boy died. Not a replacement, just a new friend and its worked out brilliantly. It's horrible without a dog.

Don't feel bad or guilty about wanting another dog. After my ddog passed away I too could not bear an empty dogless house, I lasted 2 months before I got a puppy. I still missed my old ddog but having the pup helped. I probably would have got another dog sooner but like you felt guilty about wanting another so soon.
I too went for a tottally different breed so as not to compare them.
I couldn't be happier I love my new ddog he can never replace my old ddog but I wouldn't be without him.
Life without a dog just sucks.

My beloved BlackDog was PTS over two years ago and I still miss her every day- in fact she is still the screen saver on my (now little used) laptop as I just can't bear to change it.
DDog1 pined so much for her (it was all of our first time as a single dog house) that we got DDog2 a few months later. I felt awful about it, and indeed nearly backed out at the last minute as it felt like replacing her. As it goes, DDog2 is a different breed, colour, sex, temperament but we have never really bonded, which saddens me greatly. As time has passed I see that it's not the fact he is her replacement, more that we just don't gel that well. Today we have a cordial and friendly relationship which is a vast improvement.
For me it was too soon but it's ok now

We lost our rescue dog almost 2 years ago and were heartbroken to not have a dog to come home to. Within 2 weeks we had found a puppy who joined us 6 weeks later. Do not feel guilty, they all have their own personalities even within breed. You can love more than one dog don't forget.
If you cannot cope with shedding avoid anything with lab in it!

I can only add to the many sensible voices on here. As the lovely SistersOfPercy said, it's because you had such a fantastic dog that you need that in your life again.

We lost our old boy just before Christmas. We were lucky enough to be put in touch with a lady with a litter available and on Saturday we went to look at pups. The dds have picked one out and named him already!

It should be a very exciting time. It's the start of the journey with our next dog. And I want a dog again sooo much. I just can't stop feeling guilty that I'm replacing my old boy. I can't stop thinking about him but I don't want to compare the poor new pup, who's just a baby, with my fantastic clever old boy. Because in a few years the new pup will hopefully also be a fantastic dog.

It doesn't help though that the dds picked out a black boy puppy. He's a different breed but not that dissimilar when young.

I totally get where you're coming from and all I can say is it's perfectly normal and doesn't detract in any way from the relationship with the new dog.

I think it's normal. When my pet died I knew I'd be having another by the end of the day. I adored him but couldn't bear to be without one.

Love isn't rationed.

I lasted three weeks without my dog. I don't regret it. I never replaced him. I got another dog.
I know you want a specific type of dog but there are so many homeless dogs needing their own family All my dogs have been rescue.

To me it's like have children - the more you have the more love there is.

Thank-you to all you lovely people for leaving me all these replies, there is good advice and understanding from each of you.
FiveHoursSleep, you are exactly right and reading your post made me cry because that is the perfect explanation for how I'm feeling!

And to Bagewithbutter, how beautiful are those puppies, my heart was truly touched.
I agree with the comments regarding a rescue dog but again I think I would struggle with the fur problem as usually a cross breeds parents are unknown, and I would hate to make such a big and heartbreaking mistake! I would really like a young dog but again not too sure about this yet. x

Some lovely words on here.

I hope it's been a help.

kissed your name made me lol

I didn't realise so many of us has lost a dog so recently - our 5 year old cockerpoo died on 10th March - he stopped eating, he'd had some (supposedly minor) surgery which went wrong, long story - I think the way he spent the last few weeks after the operation made things worse, eventually I had to be the one to say no more, lets PTS, and the vet said no I am sure if we do x y and z he'll be ok for a few days and then we can try a b and c and so on - so I ended it. H is dead set against another dog, its as if its some personal affront to him, but that's another story. DDs and I would like one at some point but I too am worried about looking for my beautiful intelligent boy in another dog's eyes.

At the moment we are grieving so much I can barely cope, I feel sick and dizzy all the time, just knowing that all our wonderful time together is gone and all I have are hazy memories (I think that's due to grief its happened to me before I can't remember things very well). So I know we need to wait, I don't want a furry sticking plaster on this pain if you see what I mean.

Our dog was a cockerpoo. I now know that his original illness - colitis - is common to cockerpoos and ordinary spaniels although diet can play a part too. I'd love to have another cockerpoo or cocker spaniel but keep thinking it would be too upsetting and I'd worry history would repeat etc. However, to answer your query about shedding, our boy shed for England - great clumps and tufts of hair matted all into our carpets and clothes, it was even in the fridge. They are lovely intelligent loyal and fun dogs, most people I know have a long happy life with them, but they definitely do shed!!

Have a look at a range of breeds, see what comes up but don't rush into anything.

Oh Burning

I'm so sorry, that's so recent, how awful. He was far too young, that's really unfair. At least my boy was eleven and about the average age. He was a cocker, working type.

- I don't have any words to adequately describe the feelings. And to think we could get a new dog then go through it all again in 7 years, 10 years or whatever scares me.

Burning that's so sad. You are not ready yet and that is understandable. You will be one day. I think it was very different for me. My dog was very old and I had time to prepare. Our dog now is so different from him, both in looks and personality, there is no comparison. A dog will turn up for you when the time is right.

I was exactly the same as you, was going to wait two years fir another dig but lasted three months.

However can I just reiterate that cockerpoos and labradoodles are not breeds. Why don't you go yo a rescue instead of encouraging more backyard breeders?