Is there any such thing as a "What to expect" for puppies?

[BertieBotts]

Or "Puppies for dummies"

We are planning to get a puppy in about six months' time and I am starting to get excited about it. I haven't had dogs before, ever, (DH has) and it's all a bit new to me. In fact if anything I am a little bit anxious about dogs because I don't really understand them at all, but DH is confident and I do agree with his idea that having one from a puppy will be fine because I can get to know it while it's still cute and harmless.

I don't know anything at all about dog behaviour so have been looking up things on positive training as I keep seeing it mentioned on here, watching videos on youtube etc, I had started to feel a bit more confident, although they do all seem to assume a level of familiarity with dogs which I don't have. Then suddenly came across the casual mention that puppies don't sleep through the night! Please forgive me for being so clueless - I am used to cats, who are usually completely litter trained by the time you get them, so it hadn't really occurred to me at all. I tried googling some stuff but then got a bit bamboozled about it all and don't want to accidentally end up getting drawn into something which is cruel or not recommended any more.

We are planning to crate train, do you think it's best to have the crate in our bedroom or in a living room? DH is planning to put it in the living room, is that right or does it not really matter?

Puppy will be three months old when it (she) comes to live with us. I know we will still have work to do with toilet training, but how much at night? How long can we expect her to sleep for (I don't mind getting up, I feel I should add, I just don't know what is normal or what to expect and I don't want to get frustrated because it takes longer than I thought.) and how long does it go on for? Is there anything in the "Puppy sleep training" stuff you find on the web (mainly about routine and keeping night time toilet trips very low key and boring) or is it total nonsense/cruel?

DH mentioned that when crate training obviously you get the dog used to being in the crate in the house with no pressure when you're there but when you first start to leave the room the puppy might cry a bit and that it's OK and we shouldn't rush back in. I understand the reasoning behind this - is it the same at night? I think I could stand it for a few minutes knowing that they are learning we are going to come back and nothing bad will happen but I'm not sure at night time. Come to think of it, the dog won't be completely crate trained in one day! So how does the whole first night/first few nights work?

So I have six months to really get my head around how much work it's going to be - more than I thought, I think. Can you tell me honestly what the worst bits are, so I can be prepared for it? I am slightly worried that I've jumped in a bit with the nice fluffy cute part of it and that I'm going to end up thinking why on earth did I agree to this?? Or perhaps it's best to just go for it without the horror stories and take the bad with the good and it's a bit of a rite of passage sort of thing. Gah! I don't know!! Am I overthinking? Is it best to just do it? Tell me your best tips/what you wish you had known!

That's pretty much a how to book, though there are a few bits that still have some old fashioned ideas about dominance (it's not a new book).

Crate training - it's not leaving them to cry, it's a gradual process and shouldn't result in a puppy that cries when you leave it that explains it a bit more. Most people either start off with the crate in the bedroom and move it or sleep in whatever room the crate is in for a while.

I find the worst bits are the biting, most puppies bite - a lot...and housetraining, that's a lot of cleaning up accidents and hanging about outside every 20 minutes or so, not fun.

Why would it be 12 weeks? Is it a toy breed?

I'm smiling slightly at the 'cute and harmless' bit - puppies are a nightmare, they bite and chew and jump up and get overexcited and bite and chew some more - some are toilet trained quickly but for others it can seem to take forever. I have had dogs all my life, and have had 3 young pups in the last 6 years and I STILL forget how bad it is - every single time! Just look at all the 'am I bad to hate my puppy' threads on here

Expect it to be awful, and you might just be pleasantly surprised - but, if you're committed to training it up well, giving it the attention it needs, and not going to get stressed when it chews a favourite pair of shoes or pees on the carpet, it will all be worth it after 12-18 months - my youngest pup is 15 months and we're now surfacing from the worst of it, and he's gorgeous

One very important thing is not to be too casual if it 'steals' something it shouldn't have but doesn't really matter, like an old shoe, as the pup doesn't know the difference between old and knackered and new and precious, and next time it could be the Louboutins - so anything that isn't the pup's, take it off them straight away and better still, don't leave anything lying around

Get lots of chewy things it CAN have - huge hide chews, kongs, the biggest toughest things you can find - as they bite and chew a lot, the baby teeth are like needles, then when the adult teeth are coming in they will bite and chew constantly

Be firm about undesirable behaviours like jumping up, cute in a tiny pup, not so much fun in an adolescent dog, and much harder to train undesirable habits out than to get it right first time

Go to good puppy socialisation/training classes, and be confident, you're being trained as much as the pup!

Good luck

Do you have children?
Getting a puppy is a bit like condensing babyhood into a year. You will be tired, you will cry in frustration, you will wonder why you did it, you will love her so fiercely it will shock you.
Its probably best not to overthink it, puppy may take weeks to learn to sleep through the night or may do it after the first try. Ditto toilet training, pulling on the lead, not jumping up etc etc.
What breed are you getting? You can predict (in broad terms) what may be an issue by breed.

We have had a pup now for 3 weeks. She eats, sleeps, poos, wees, plays and chews. And again. And again. And again. She is also very sweet and her personality is developing.

I mean harmless in the way that an adult dog can actually damage a person with a bite whereas puppies can nip but they won't actually injure you... hope I'm right on that part anyway!

I liked the baby stage with DS (think I was unusual in that :)) so I don't know that it's a helpful comparison for me. I've heard puppies compared to an 18 month old child, which was my absolute favourite stage so far.

3 months because it's DH's dog who is being bred from, who lives with his parents (MIL has taken ownership of this dog so we can't take her unfortunately) and we have to transport her from England to Germany and the minimum age for a pet passport is 3 months. Will be a springer spaniel, most likely female.
(BTW, No they are not professional breeders, yes I think it's horrid and irresponsible, and not particularly ideal to have to drive a brand new dog across three countries, but there is no point flaming me, I really have zero say unless I veto a dog completely, which I suspect would be a deal breaker! Plus they would breed from the dog anyway. Ours will be neutered.)

Because of the language issue, I'm also not sure we can do socialisation classes which I'm a bit bummed about. But will ask around vets near here closer to the time. There might be some which aren't so language dependent. If all else fails we know a few people with dogs so should be able to do some socialisation that way.

Sorry if this is a stupid question if you train them not to jump up, which I would like to do, is it going to ruin it completely if DH wants to encourage the dog to stand on his shoulders (sitting down) and "kiss" him?

I know about giving them lots of approved things to chew, so good to hear that again :) I'm a bit confused on the stealing/guarding/growling thing and not sure what to do in those situations, if anybody has any good links on that.

OK so you said "It's not about leaving them to cry" but on that link about crate training, it says this:

1. Begin to go about your day as normal with puppy confined, if he begins to whine or bark,

remember to ignore him. Only go back to him when he is quiet, if you go back to him when he is being noisy, he will learn to keep barking for longer and longer periods until you return!

That's pretty much what DH said and what made sense to me.

I found The Happy Puppy Handbook by Pippa Mathinson was very helpful as a first time puppy owner.

In terms of the worst, we've been lucky. Our puppy is now 7 months old and I don't look back on it with horror - he wasn't bitey which is unusual for his breed and he took to his crate and therefore to toilet training really well. The hardest bit for us is what we call his "zoomies" - about 6-7 o'clock in the evening he has a crazy period where he runs around, jumps on stuff and is generally quite destructive. I think that's common, so be prepared for that.

And yes, it is lots of work, like having a newborn baby who can run around and jump and pull things off sides and chew them. We put a huge amount of time into our puppy and still do, but really feel it has paid off because we have a gorgeous dog and none of us could imagine being without him.

Definitely find a good training class, too, as early as possible.

What breed are you getting?

There are quite a few things in your recent post that aren't ideal, and IMHO training classes are a must, especially if you haven't had a dog before, so I'll check out of the thread now. Good luck

DH has had dogs before, just not me, so we aren't completely new to it. But I respect that.

I second The Happy Puppy Handbook by Pippa Mattinson. It is a bit of an idiots guide! I've got it and I love it. We should be having a new puppy in a couple of months but its a long time since we had a puppy in the house and things have moved on a bit.

Good luck with your puppy!

The Dog Training Advice and Support facebook group-it's run by professional dog behaviourists and is only modern, science based advice. There's tonnes of files at the top of the page for all of the questions you've asked here.
I don't cage my dog, but leaving her to cry and be distressed in a cage will not teach her to be happy in it. She's a newborn, puppies are hell on earth, but cuddle her incessantly because when a decade zooms by she'll be a creaky old lady. Also, no running up and down stairs or jumping on and off stuff till her bones are developed at about 18 months.

Looks at cuts on hands and arms and laughs like a drain. Look, Im 3 weeks in like easy. Its bloody, relentless hard work.
We had no sleep at night for the first 2 days as he was pining for his mum/ litter mates. There were LOTS of poo / pee accidents. He chews. He can get over excited when playing and draw blood accidentally.
All of the above is improving dramatically and crucially we were aware that we may have these very issues.