What would be best?

[Doggonefool]

We got ddog2 from a rescue about a year ago. He had previously lived with a family with kids, but they broke up and couldn't take care of him anymore.
Rescue and previous owner said he was fine with other dogs, however it's becoming increasingly obvious that he would be better off as the only dog in the household.
We have already have Ddog1 and they get on ok, but she dominates him a lot. He's very timid, is very fearful of strangers, and hates us shouting, even if it's good-natured. He needs A LOT of cuddles and hates having to share cuddle time with ddog1. We have no kids, so it's just the two of us, and although we try our best with him, we feel we're letting him down.
All in all, we do think he would be better off in a family set-up similar to the one he had before.
Obviously, however, if we rehomed him, he would have t go through all the trauma of rejection/a new family again.
We very much want to do what's best for him, we're just not sure what that is. What do you think?

Thanks

Anyone?

I'm by no means an expert but, in all honesty, I'm failing to see how rehoming an already anxious dog is going to improve his confidence.

If you know of somebody who is after a dog, specifically meets your criteria and would be happy to take him on then maybe. If you are considering just returning him to rescue to take his chances, I think (personally) you are way off the mark. DDog1 is a similar "strange cookie" and the idea that rehoming him would help him is unthinkable.

Hopefully someone with more knowledge and experience will be along soon :)

Thanks mrsfox, I appreciate your honesty. Just to say, we would keep him with us until a suitable family came up. There would be no question of returning him to the rescue.

However, I am much more inclined t keep him, while its mostly DP who thinks he'd be better off in another family. If anyone has any ideas on how to address his anxiety without taking him to a behaviorist (we're very rural and there isn't any for miles around) that would also be great. Thanks.

I'd try working on his anxiety. It sounds like he's come to you with a lot of baggage and it can take a long time for some dogs to let go - even a year on it could still be early days for him. Remember rescues don't always get the full/true story from people that are giving their dogs up and it seems unlikely that he was happy and calm in a busy noisy household with lots of children if he can't cope with shouting etc.

Perhaps try a DAP or Pet Remedy diffuser and something like Dorwest Herb's Scullcap and Valerian (I use the latter with my younger, anxious, lad and it makes a massive difference to his ability to cope). I've also used these with him and although I was extremely sceptical, they do seem to work - in fact I bought a human version for me when I had a particularly stressful event coming up and I do think it helped me overcome my nerves. Some TTouch massage might help too (books, YouTube, plus various websites for info and local practitioners).

Another great way to build confidence is clicker training. It doesn't have to be anything big or formal, just fun stuff. Teach him to shake a paw, high-five, touch various things with nose/paw, put things in or take them out of a box. Have a look at Kikopup on YouTube for some ideas.

Do you ever walk them separately? One to one time, individual walks perhaps playing whatever his favourite game is without your other dog present will also help build his confidence.

It's so difficult isn't it. We have dogs from different backgrounds and the only thing they have in common is that they live with us. We have a very oldie, one who has the ability to be a brilliant working dog, one who is frightened, and a pup. I think unless there are really serious issues (we've had that too), re-homing a dog is a bit like re-homing a child because you feel inadequate as a parent. Although we're not perfect, all the dogs have plenty of food, water, toys, play, training, walks, shelter and company.
You have a bitch and a dog. The bitch will probably be in charge. Just like us!!!
Try to treat the situation as a learning curve. The dogs are your family and one way or another you can find ways to manage them.

I'd have a chat with the rescue. Tell them what you're experiencing, see what they think. The rescue I use sometimes leaves dogs with their current owner until a new owner is ready, so they don't have so much stress. Normally I'd say hang on, but if you've tried for a year and the dogs aren't getting on you sound correct in your thoughts. He may be better with someone else. We know someone who took on a similar dog, he was being bossed/bullied by their other dogs. He is so happy as a sole dog now..

Thanks for all the advice ladies.

I have ordered some books on dealing with anxious/fearful dogs: this cautionus canine one and this Freaked out one, as well as a clicker for training, so hopefully that'll help. He was trained in the basics when he came to us, so we haven't really trained him before, but from scanning those books that should help his anxiety, so I'll give it a try.

moose I used to run with him on his own, but lately Ddog1 has been joining us too. I'll make an effort to just take him out with me in future, and do something else with the other one.

re-homing a dog is a bit like re-homing a child because you feel inadequate as a parent. This struck a chord. I do feel very inadequate as his 'parent' and that I'm letting him down. However, I'm going to have another good try to make him happier before admitting defeat.

Hi sorry for bumping this, but there has been an incident.

I'm traveling with work at the moment, and DP has just rung to tell me some disturbing news. Ddog2 tried to bite him for the second time this afternoon.
They were at our neighbours house, the men were working and the dogs were running around. Ddog2 went for a swim in the river, then got back into the car, still wet. DP tried to get him to come out of the car, but he wouldn't budge, then went to take his collar to take him out, and the dog snapped at him, and would have bitten if Dp didn't have lightning flash reflexes.
Dp says it's obvious the dog only lashed out because he was afraid, but... Dp has never ever hurt the dog, and would never do so, but he is a bit of a loud person in general (he's a bit deaf) and I think the dog s nervous around him because f this. This is the second time the dog has tried to bite him, the first time was about 6 months ago in similar circumstances. He's never tried to bite me or anyone else that we know of.
Has anyone any ideas of what we should do? Can I just continue with the plan f clicker training him and hope that resolves the fear/anxiety issues (I started before I left and will resume when I get back) or does this latest development change things? As I said before, we have no kids, but we are ttc, and the neighbours young kids are around here quite a lot (they love playing with ddog1 and she loves playing with them, always closely supervised) and l would never forgive myself if anything happened to them.

If you have any thoughts, comments, suggestions, please give it to me straight. I'm big enough and ugly enough to handle it.

Thank you.

We have had an unpredictable rescue dog for many years. We have to put a muzzle on him if we are taking him to the vets or the groomer and have learnt to spot the signs for situations where he is likely to feel at risk.

He has a sweet nature the majority of the time but if he feels threatened then he can still turn.

We would not want to risk him with anyone that doesn't understand him.