Alarm bells ringing after in-laws' dog bit my DH

[StuntNun]

My in-laws' Cocker Spaniel bit my DH last night, not badly but the skin on his hand is broken in one place. We have both been concerned about the dog's behaviour for some time but this is the final straw and I'm not sure I want this dog around my children any more.

My in-laws got the dog as a puppy since he was being rehomed by his original owners. It was a bit of a whim as they hadn't planned to get another dog after their last dog died a few years ago. The pup showed problems with separation anxiety right from the start which I attributed to being rehomed at a young age. They have not done any significant training with the dog over the past year or so that they have had him. This means he still jumps up, licks peoples' faces, runs away when the front door is opened, climbs on furniture, steals food, pees in our house, chews up shoes and glasses etc. I have also seen him act aggressively towards my MIL when she tried to stop him doing something.

The situation last night was that my FIL was round for dinner and brought the dog with him (he can't be left alone in their house because he destroys things). The dog was under the dining table and stole the chicken leg that my two-year-old DS3 was eating right out of his hand. I immediately leapt up and started saying 'drop it' and 'ah-ah' because I was worried the dog would eat it and injure himself. The dog did drop the chicken so I asked DH to get it before the dog could get it again. It was at this point that the dog bit DH. It's obviously worrying enough that the dog bit DH, but even more worrying was my FIL's reaction which was that this was a natural reaction from the dog.

My DS1 and DS2 (aged 12 and 8) are already scared of this dog, despite the fact that we have a dog of our own. My DS3 is too young to have any sense around animals and will quite happily interact with the dog despite the fact that he gets pushed over sometimes and any snacks he has will be taken by the dog. We are due to have a baby in 8 weeks and my DH plans to tell his parents that we cannot have their dog near the baby under any circumstances. I think we should go further and not allow the dog near the toddler as well. To me a line has been crossed and I don't want this dog around my children any more. Am I over-reacting?

No you are not overreacting .

I wouldn't allow the dog near anyone in my family, not just the baby and toddler.

I would not allow the dog in my house let alone around any kids.

It's reaction is normal in that resource guarding is a behaviour natural to dogs BUT it's not a behaviour that can be allowed for obvious safety reasons.

And If they kick up saying they can't see you then because the dog can't be alone and wrecks everything then tell them to get a kong and a crate.

Alternatively, you could suggest they bring it round only on the strict condition that it is both leashed and muzzled.
Then it can't bounce on Ms off furniture, bite, steal stuff etc

I'd be more worried about the toddler than the baby tbh, the toddler is more likely to grab something the dog wants to guard than the baby.

Resource guarding is perfectly natural dog behaviour...but not one that fits in with being a pet.

Everything you've mentioned is trainable, so they either train their dog or you keep it away from the DC.

I don't understand why they haven't trained the dog to be honest. He's treated like an indulged child and allowed to get away with murder.

Trust your instincts and stand firm

Honestly you are not over reacting and I would be more worried about the toddler than the baby - infact I would be more worried about all the children.

They need to accept responsibility for their dog , and either work positively and train it, or their grandchildren can't be around it EVER.

It is fairly natural behaviour for a dog to snap at someone that goes to take food from it. Your FIL should have told it off when it took the food. Quite obviously it should no longer be in the room when anyone is eating, and should be strictly under control around the children (on a lead/in a crate).

It sounds like the dog needs a lot more exercise and some training to set boundaries.

You're not overreacting but it's your PILs fault, not the dogs.

They need to train that dog to give stuff up on command however the dog has to be offered something in return. You can't just wrestle something off a dog. Instead the dog needs to be given a dog treat, biscuit, toy, etc in exchange.

I'd only allow the dog in the house again on a lead and ideally muzzled. I say that as a dog lover and owner of an aggressive dog.

Sounds just like fils dog. Rehomed, no training, allowed to roam at will.
We never left the room at pils if it was around. Started off pinching food, ragging the fur trim on ds1's parka hood while the child was wearing it. Progressed to nips etc. still pils did nothing. Only when it bit their 3 year old grandaughter on the face - scarred for life physically and still having nightmares about it a year later.
It was a smallish dog 'nice breed'. Dog was put to sleep and fil STILL maintains that the dog wasn't at fault, the child must have provoked it.
but we'll never know will we? Because they were all so complacent that the child and dog were alone at the time.

That's awful MJB. The poor child, hope they get over it. And a shame for a dead dog that could have been ok if trained perhaps. You wouldn't mind if FIL had learned anything from it.

I think they are bonkers not training. We have our first dog & are training him. He is not there yet - pretty sure he wouldn't hurt a fly (no resource guarding) but would run out of open door etc. An untrained dog would be a lifetime of stress for both the dog & owners. I was about to say my puppy is unpredictable but actually I can predict he will jump up etc he just isn't there yet. I bet your pil can predict their dogs behaviour but are just not taking responsibility for it. If they don't then you need to & tell them the dog can't come round.

To clarify, the dog didn't have the chicken at the time he bit my DH, he had dropped it at one end of the table and moved to the other end (it's a big table that seats eight). DH was just trying to get hold of the dog's collar to get him out from under the table when he got bitten.

Still wouldn't have it in the house personally.
Sounds like it was probably done out of fear but even so.

Sounds like the dog bit out of fear. He knew he'd done something naughty, had been shouted at, dropped the food and tried to move away. He was followed by someone he doesn't know very well trying to grab him.

In a dogs world that's not a good scenario.

I agree.
But while I feel a little sorry for the little guy (I bet the lack of boundaries has made him anxious and confused a lot of the time) I have very little sympathy for biters.
If he isn't leashed and muzzled in future I wouldn't even entertain the idea of being in the house.
I feel that if kids are present you need a fairly bombproof dog who will always opt to remove itself or throw out appeasement signals.
Biters just aren't suitable for family life.

Generally I don't like other people's dogs in my house. It's not fair on our lot and not fair on them. It is certainly not fair on anyone to have a non-family dog under the table during mealtimes. Can you separate your IL's dog if it comes over again? Do you have a garden or a kennel or a crate where it can be safe?

The ILs have engaged the services of a dog behaviourist to come out to the house and advise them. Hopefully this will make my FIL take things a bit more seriously as at the moment he doesn't think the dog should be crated or have his behaviour restricted. My DH pointed out that if one of our kids went to his house and stole food, peed in the house and bit him then he would be having harsh words with the child in question.

That's a good start then. Hopefully a stranger's (qualified and costly!) advice will have more sway.