What words of advice can I give my poor friend?

[MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig]

My lovely friend has the most adorable 18 month old labrador. Dog is well trained and well behaved. I think she's lovely. However, she is not the old dog - which has been gone nearly three years - and the dh doesn't like the new dog. He won't bond with it. Can't face the heartache when it too has gone apparently.

He is a patronising misogynist at the best of times, from what I can gather, and constantly simpers and nitpicks and complains about this poor dog. She doesn't deserve it. My friend works hard with the dog and gets told off for spending too much time with it! I'm sure he'd complain more if it wasn't well behaved.

I want to give her some constructive words of advice, beyond 'your husband is an arsehole' which is my personal opinion. She defers to him, they are a bit old fashioned like that but she is very frustrated. I tell him straight but he dismisses my opinion as 'one of your feminist friends'! I always compliment her on the dog, in his hearing, and tell him what a great dog it is and what a good job my friend is doing.

This is not me, I swear. Having just lost our dog my dh agrees with me and my friend and is highly disapproving of the dh's opinion.

Hello Ms adorabelle.
Mmmm, that's a hard one. The dogs not in danger of being hurt, is it, by this jealous twit?
Why did they get another dog, if he can't face the inevitable, which, I would imagine, is pretty far off?

It's easy to want to tell someone to eff off and grow up but I imagine that won't work in this situation.
If he hates her " feminist friends" ( charming ) why not suggest a man to man chat about the situation?

unless he's completely unapproachable?

Hth ( a bit)

Aww, thanks aton, yes that's a good idea. My dh sees him sometimes. I could get him to ask about the dog.

My friends dh thinks it's hilarious to offer the dog to other people. He'll say 'you can have her if you want her' which drives my friend up the wall. I'll have to get dh to say we'd love to have her and we hope to have a dog as good as her. He might listen to a mans opinion.

Sounds to me as if he is jealous and and wants attention. If HE was a dog the advice would be to ignore and only give him attention when his behaviour improves.

punter

Brilliant. I am going to say exactly that to my friend.

Click and treat for good behaviour! Can he catch a treat in his mouth?

Keep 'em coming ladies.

If the husband is jealous, it's not your problem, nor his wife's problem. It must be awful for him to be so miserable. Can you muster the energy to pity him? It's not normal behaviour to offer your dog to other people, not seriously anyway

Why doesn't she keep the dog and offer the DH to someone else?

I do pity him. He's the one missing out. I think it's all said in jest because my friend would kill him if he did!

I don't know if anyone would want the dh.

Isn't that what rescue centres are for? He must go to a No Kill one though!

Yes, I agree too. He is missing out. And a lab! Wish I had a lab. Soooo gorgeous. Fab family pets. Pets bring such happiness into a home.

Ok, and a fair bit of dirt, filth, hassle, expense... And on and on.
But it's all so worth it.

That's a pretty shitty state of affairs if he's not going to bond and enjoy the dog. I get that it's bloody heartbreaking to lose a beloved fur friend but they last, with good health, for a very long time.
I'd imagine that he will bond eventually, whether that be in 1 month or 1 year but he's spiting himself really by losing precious time with the dog the arse

:) at some of the replies.

Yes to getting your Dh to say positive things about the dog to him. With him sounding like a misogynist - a mans opinion might work.
Yes to you continuing to support your friend.

I did chuckle a bit about this. I can remember my (now) exDH saying "it's me or the dog". We ended up divorcing but the lovely Labrador remained with me as a very important part of my family until he was PTS in his 14th year.