Tethered to my girl - please tell me this will get easier!

[TheHappinessTrap]

I got a rescue adult cocker two months back. We were told she was house trained but on about a weekly/bi weekly basis the accidents began. Only when we are home. When we're out she has freedom to roam in some of the house and there are never any accidents when we get in. We take her out when we get in, when she wakes up, after anything exciting, every hour or two when we're home, 45 - 90 minutes after eating... We've been positively reinforcing when she's goes outside (which she clearly feels proud about!), her food is given on a schedule, etc.

I presume... well a few things 1) this is because she is sleeping most of the time when we're away (which is true) and when we are home she is awake/active and therefore more mindful of the need to eliminate and 2) we just have no clue how she is communicating her need to wee. She sniffs everything all the time and is generally quiet. I've read up on this and the only things we aren't doing is using treats to positively reinforce going outside - so we'll start doing that - and that she cannot be allowed out of our sight when she isn't confined. We won't crate so I've read that my only choice is to have her on a lead attached to me, which we have just started. Poor thing looks confused and I'm certainly going to have a job getting used to this myself.

I'm looking for anyone who's had to do this to offer any advice or encouragement as I'm feeling mixed - happy at the thought that this might help, and displeased to live my home life tethered to my dog when she isn't confined to the safety of the kitchen (where she's never eliminated)!

I don't give a huge amount of praise when pup goes toilet outside just a good boy then we go in and no treats as I read somewhere that they won't realise the praise is for where they've gone to the toilet just that they've done it and they can start to go toilet when they want to please as you seem to be pleased with them when they go to the toilet! No idea if it's actually what dogs think but it may make sense if your girl only does it when you're around.

How old is she ? Our 18mth old rescue cav wee'd in the morning (when we got up) about 1pm, 4pm, 7pm & about 10.30 - last outside of the day.

If she will ask to go outside, but if we've been out for a few hours or its raining we tell her to 'do wee wees & she generally does.

Perhaps, depending on age, you need to space the toilet breaks ?

Why won't you crate?

She's 6 yrs. I suppose now she's on the tether we could space out the wee trips to create a wee schedule. Is that what you're suggesting willow?

And that's worrying stressed! I have to say I never thought it would be so hard to work out what she's needing or wanting!

Yes I think that might be an idea.

Have to say the tethering may cause more problems by her being so physically attached to you?

Don't crate - what a miserable existence.

If it helps, our dog had a wee & poo around 8am. She's had a run with us & now relaxing. If I open the back door - where she always goes for her wee, & say wee wees, she just wags her tail.

Perhaps everytime you open the back door say wee wees (or whatever suits !) so the connection is made ?

Hope that helps ?

We won't crate. It's just our choice.

We do have a word we say each time she goes out. The thing is, I think she basically knows. She never just squats in front of us indoors the way she will outside. And when she's outside she comes for her positive reinforcement whereas inside she slinks off and becomes incredibly obsequious.

She hardly ever utters a sound, previous dogs I've had would go to the door and bark or scratch at the door and look back at me to let me know or come up to me and whine and when I got up they'd head to the door. Nothing could be clearer. I've never toilet trained a dog so I find this issue all a bit deflating.

I don't know if the tethering would cause any other difficulties. She's a clingy dog anyway, we knew that in taking her on and we're ok with it. The only difference I've noticed so far is that whereas before we would walk about the house as you do and she would hop around after us wondering what to do she now seems to feel more "included". She's already learned that when I get this particular lead out she's coming out of the kitchen to follow me everywhere and when I get up she just comes along. She also stays with the lead so that if she's in a room with me and my OH is doing something very interesting in another room she just looks rather than investigates. The problem is that I don't feel so free to move about and I have to get over that but it seems mean to make her get up when she's comfy because I want a cup of tea!

So, no one else has tried this then? I'm guessing the crate is very popular but I'm still hoping someone will pitch up with experience of this!

What about putting a lead on her & taking her round the block/garden every 4 hrs ?

I'm keeping a record for you& my dog looked out the French door at 12.59 for her wee !

I wonder if she's been hit for scratching the door to go outside ? There must be a psychological reason for not alerting you ?

Ref Velcro dog, same here, she likes to be with us !

Wee at 15.37 !

This has given me a much appreciated laugh Willow, thanks!

I can only imagine by the results of her behaviour what her previous owners were like. She is ridiculously compliant/submissive. Not only will she not scratch a door, she wouldn't until recently nudge open a door that's ajar and still has to be encouraged sometimes. When she first arrived I would let her out into the garden and leave the door ajar for her to let herself back in when she was ready, and I used to just find her sitting outside the door waiting for permission. She wouldn't touch food on the floor and I could safely take the rubbish bag out of the bin and leave it on the floor to take out later. She doesn't startle, at all, even when we accidentally slam a kitchen drawer or fireworks or whatever. And her ability to locate me when I call her is poor, she responds but is just not very good at locating me in obvious places. I hate to say it but I suspect some damage from being abused about the head. My OH is now wondering whether she was even allowed indoors previously. She is an absolute delight though, and it's been such a pleasure to see her confidence growing over the last couple of months. She was frightened of everything but is increasingly curious about things and exploring them.

Today has been mostly about us both getting used to her being under such constant observation but I will begin to instill a toileting schedule tomorrow. We have a dog walker come which means she has 2 opportunities to go out before we leave for work, then 4 hours later with the dog walker, then 4 hours later with us. That would then just leave a bedtime wee. Is that about what you do? Morning, noon, dinner time and bed time?

Poor little love

Our dog came from a shouty home & the fosterers feel she was hit with a tea towel or similar &/rolled up newspaper. She will hide in odd corners if there are raised voices.

She's just gone out now for a bark - she only really has a bark in the evenings. I imagine she'll be having a pee again

Ref recall, hers is excellent, I just put it down to her not wanting to lose us. When we first got her, I spent the first day with her sitting on my lap & I guess this helped her bond with me - along with the treats I gave her when we picked her up.

DH & I also took her over the park & spent about an hr calling her between us & making lots of fuss.

I have to say that your little girl sounds like she's had her spirit well & truly broken I hate people.

Btw where did she come from ? She does sound like she might be a breeding bitch ?

So glad she found such a lovely home with you. She sounds like a great girl.

Pee at 22.15 !

So that's about 4, maybe 5 pees a day. Perhaps she doesn't realise that outside is the toilet ? Do you walk her first thing ?

Sounds like the poor girl has had a rough time, you are doing the very best thing for her by giving her love & stability, so it'll all come together in time.
Rescues can take up to a year to settle, more if abused so sorry it might be a long haul although if you've already seen improvements hopefully not! She's a lucky girl & sounds a sweetie.

It's hard to see the signs of their previous difficult lives isn't it Willow? Mine doesn't go out for a bark yet but a few weeks back she started talking up a storm when I got the lead out - it's so funny!

My OH agrees with the broken spirit notion and spends most of his time with her reassuring her, and we're a very quiet household, never even really get very angry at each other, so hopefully she'll come to feel more at ease.

How long have you had yours and do you feel she's settled? She's from Spain, and the vet didn't think she'd had puppies.

Thanks Foundering and Stressed.

We've not had any wee's now since she's been under constant observation. That's soooo nice! I do hope we can return to normality someday though. I'd much prefer it if she could roam freely about the house without risk of wee.

She'll get there.They all have their own little insecurities don't they?

My latest rescue (a failed foster ) used to whine pathetically when he couldn't see me & I was the only one who could walk him, he refused to go with anyone else and was real Velcro Dog. It was like having a clingy toddler again, having to leave the bathroom door open etc.

But he's been with us 10 months now and is SOOOO much more relaxed. He'll happily be in the next room if I'm in & out. I still get the imploring look when I leave the house, but he settles. But funnily enough if I go upstairs he'll sit & whine at the bottom, but not come up (which I'm happy with nice to have one hair free zone) so I have to keep up a monologue of what I'm doing to sooth him, daft old sod

Floundering I do the monologue too, how funny! I'm glad to hear your story. We'll keep plugging away obviously and hopefully she'll relax.