My dog is a nightmare, tearing my hair out and feel we have tried everything.

[marne2]

It's actually making me depressed, it's effecting my other dog and effecting my relationship with dh ( oh and probably my social life ).

We have had him for almost 2 years, he is a lab x ( possibly collie ). He Cries all day, I get up, he cries for food, I feed him and he cries until he gets walked, I walk him for an hour, he sleeps for 5 minutes and then he cries, a hour before his dinner he cries and then the crying for his 2nd walk, he finally sleeps at 10pm and then awake by 6am. If anyone visits the house he barks constantly and jumps up ( not aggressive, just wants attention ), I remove him from the room and he barks louder and destroys the door/gate. No one will visit us or bring children in the house. My other dog is a wreck because when I raise my voice at the lab x is scares her, the only thing he listens to is me shouting ( and that's hit and miss ), we have tried clicker training, rewarding the good behaviour, ignoring the crying, shutting him outside ( removing him from the room ) but he gets worse.

My husband has had enough, the kids have had enough ( dd2 has ASD and the barking really hurts her ears ), the only thing that would keep him quite was to be walked all day. I know he is a working breed and needs to have a job to do but when I got him from the rescue I was told he would be a small dog ( he is not huge ) and I thought 2 walks a day would be enough ( plus we play ball ), he has puzzle toys, balls, bones and my other dog to keep him entertained but he will not play without me, won't go in the garden to play ( we have a large garden ).

No one will visit us for Christmas because of the dog. He has a crate which we no longer use as this seemed to make him worse. I feel so sorry for my other dog, she is so laid back and I can tell she is really annoyed with the other dog leaping around all the time and crying.

I can't afford to get a behaviour specialist in.

I have posted here so many times and I feel I have tried everything people have suggested.

He does have a few good points, he is very loving, he is great with other dogs, great off the lead ( good recall ), in a way he would be much happier living on a farm or being worked.

Doggie seatbelt and he can sit in the back? Driving with a loose dog in the car is very dangerous for everyone.

I have a new vw beetle, I can't get him in the back at all and I don't want him in my car tbh ( it's my pride and joy ).

Anyway, he seems much more settled this evening after a longer walk today, not sure if I can cope with walking that far every day but will do my best if it means he is more chilled out. Just got up to take his photo, normally he would leap up if I get out of my seat but all he did was open his eyes for a few seconds.

And yes, he's on the sofa and not on his bed but he is still.

My beloved dog went back to the rescue this week after 4 months. Utterly wonderful dog, but high prey drive and completely wrong for a house with cats and surrounded by sheep and horses.

I feel absolutely crap about it but know it was the right decision for both us and him as a life of containment isn't the best kind of life. I don't know if I could of done it after 2 years though, but reading your posts I think you know returning to rescue is best option really. A dog shouldn't rule your life - change it in lots of great ways, but not be in charge of everything. And that is the beauty of rescue - there is supposed to be back up if things go wrong.

Btw, the rescue did offer a behavioural expert come in and they were great about it all. But did suggest I was the wrong owner and I kinda agree. Perhaps I would of been the right owner in a different location, perhaps not. I couldn't even begin to imagine putting up Christmas decs as his obsession with lights and shadows was immense.

Sorry I don't get it, why can't he get in the back of the car? He's not exactly a giant breed! As for being car proud, get a seat cover?

To be honest while you are in a very difficult position and it is easy to feel sympathy with you, you are at least partly the cause of this problem. He does sound like a challenging dog but you are not doing much to help him. Taking a young dog to training classes (or any dog for that matter) is an essential part of dog ownership. Setting money aside for getting expert help is something that is often needed. Making minor adjustments to be able to travel the dog in the car is again a very small requirement.

My feeling is that you don't want solutions, you just want someone to take this dog off your hands.

'you just want someone to take this dog off your hands.'

And that isn't the worst thing in the world if you are the wrong owner for this dog. I know it's the worst thing in the world for dedicated people in the rescue world, but for us mere mortals there is a limit to what we can live with.

Boob, how am I meant to get a dog and 2 autistic children in my car? A dog that vomits by the time I leave my road? I have no child care, I can't take 2 autistic kids and a crazy dog 20 miles in my car to training classes, taking my children anywhere is hard enough but can you imagine them getting jumped on in the back of the car and trying to get through a class? It's not going to happen.

Thank you all for your kind posts, he is much calmer today and is led next to me asleep, he hasn't even asked for his walk yet, as he is quite I will take him out in a minute and hopefully he will remain calm. I will continue to try my best with him and see how the situation is after Christmas ( I'm not rehoming him over Christmas and the rescue would not have room for him ), I do love him to bits, we are a active family which is why I thought things would be ok, we walk a lot but there are days where I have so much going on or I am poorly and he can't cope with his walk being made shorter of not getting as much attention. I have had a few dogs including springer spaniels which are crazy dogs but nothing compared to him. Hopefully things will get easier and he can stay but if I can't get him to settle I will look for a more suitable home.

And I do want solutions, just slightly annoyed that some of you have not read my posts and listened to what I have tried and what my situation is , the dog means a lot to me, he is loved, he is happy most of the time ( when he's getting 2 long walks and a lot of attention ). I know if he goes my other dog would be devastated, there are times where they cuddle up together or play together, when he went for castration my other dog cried all day, I don't want to have to get rid of her best friend but I don't want to see her shaking when he's playing up either. I have spoke to the rescue, they offered nothing in the way of help, it's a small rescue and I had a lot of problems with them when I got the dog, he was very poorly when I got him and vets bills mounted to £100's, they tried telling me there was nothing wrong with him and didn't offer to help.

A behaviourist would come to you, you get one on one trainers that would also come to you, classes tend to be fairly late in evenings or on weekends and you could make sure he hasn't eaten, line your DH's boot with something and stick him in there.

Training classes quite often have children at them, it's not really a sit quietly and watch type thing, they can join in...I appreciate autism does make that harder, my eldest has autism. But, it might not be as impossible as you think...you also get outside classes in some places, children in a secure field is pretty do-able usually.

How did you think you were going to transport 2 dogs and 2 children? Even for things like vaccinations at the vet, not to mention all the other unexpected things that might turn up.

Can I please clarify - what do you mean by "when he's playing up"? Why is your other dog shaking?

She shakes when he cries, she's probably picking up on the fact he is stressing me out .

There's is a outdoor training group ( still quite far ) but last time I contacted them they were full. My dd2 could not cope with a indoor class as she is very sensitive to sound, a barking dog in a village hall would cause a meltdown, both dd's are also very wary of other people's dogs ( fine with ours ).

OP either your situation is truly this difficult in which case why did you ever think two dogs let alone one were a good idea or you are making excuse after excuse. Young children are usually not welcome to dog training classes so you'd need child are anyway. How do you take the dog to the vets? Plenty of dogs vomit in cars, some defacate as well, put some plastic over the seats.

Katharine as a fellow mere mortal I agree that re homing a dog is not the worst thing one can do, but committing to a dog when you shouldn't have, failing to sort the dog out for two years and having an answer to each possible solution so you can then rehome the dog seems pretty irresponsible. Rescues are full to the rafters, this is a very challenging dog who has not been trained, he won't go to a happy farm where he will run around all day long, he will be PTS.

I'm not going to argue boob, maybe I was stupid getting him. The vets is not far from our house, last time I took him dh had a bigger car, he's due to go after Christmas and I will either walk him there or get a friend to help me take him ( it's only once a year he needs vaccinations and in an emergency the vet would come to me ), we live in a farming area, I know a lot of farmers who love their dogs, I wouldn't hand him over to someone I didn't know well enough to trust with him, I love my dog. I'm hoping I won't have to rehome him. I came on here to hopefully get some new advice, I have posted many times about him and people have been very helpful ( well most of them ). If I was that desperate to get rid of him he would have been gone a long time ago, this has been going on for 2 years and I am doing all I can to try and make the situation easier, I have done what people have suggested regards to training at home.

You don't know me or my situation, you don't know my children or the area I live in so I think you are being a bit harsh judging me.

I have said 'I can't take him to training classes for a number of reasons, all are genuine reasons, I never planned on taking him to training classes, it's never been the plan and tbh I havn't got the evenings spare to do it. My children come before anything and the evenings are taken up with trying to get my daughter to sleep, I do have the day time to spend with the dog, I'm home a lot and he gets a lot of attention so he's not short of exercise, implant ion or affection. I have kept dogs all my life, I know what having a dog entails, I've just never had a dog so highly strung as this one.

I came on here to get help and hope someone would tell me he would calm down as he gets older, I didn't come on here to be judged or made to feel worse than I already do. I don't want to give my dog up, I want him to be more relaxed and to fit in with the family but I also want the dog to take over everything and end up effecting my relationship with dh and the dd's.

I. Going to stop posting now as it's upsetting me that you think I want to give up on him. I will do what I need to do to keep everyone ( and the dog ) happy.

I can't see how you could get a dog from a rescue ie with a history and various behavioural issues, and never even plan to go to training with it.
I don't think anyone on a forum is going to be able to stay a few words which will give you the solution you're looking for. Every suggestion is met with more excuses as to why it's not feasible .

I do wish you and, especially, your dog the very best of luck though.

Marne has posted rather a lot about this dog, asking for help and taking solutions on board and following through with them. I think some of you are being unfair.

Some collies and collie x are extremely hard work and non collie owners generally don't get it at all as they have never had live with or train one. They think it's like the collies on crufts, I can tell you it's not. It's really hard work training them and keeping them in good habits and they generally don't calm down until they are about six yo, ime.

Marne, mine is the same with the lead. In fact I haven't been able to go to our training class since August and my collie is being rather stubborn and headstrong and this morning I thought I must go back. She just retrains herself. She started ignoring husbands commands (he panics a bit, God knows why) and now she's decided she can ignore me (she can't) it's a full time job. Honestly I give it so much headspace, it's not like having a normal dog imo

Control unleashed is a good book btw

Sorry this post most probably isn't very helpful

Lots of people don't go to training classes, it's not that unusual.

TheKitchenWitch - to be fair, he was a puppy when she got him.

marne2 - the problem is, that there's only so much advice you can have online, even mutty who I think is a professional has said you'd be better off with someone seeing the dog.

That's because firstly it's quite hard to give advice about a dog you haven't seen and it's hard for you to gauge what advice is worth taking and what is useless but sounds good without somebody demonstrating it.

You've been trying things alone for a while now and honestly what I think you need is a fresh pair of eyes.

They might have some great ideas, or they might confirm that actually your dog is a nightmare and you're not going to manage to settle him down, but that's a big decision to take without at least exploring whether someone else could help you first.

Lol they might say he is a nightmare
My trainers say my dog is lively but they couldn't have her/live with her and they are dog trainers!
I like living with my dog though so it's not a problem but we've always had collies. They are not a beginner's dog

Thank you Owl and Tabu, yes, we got him as a pup, he was born at the rescue/foster home so he was not treated badly, rehomed and had no obvious issues, he was the quite pup of the litter which is why I chose him, we didn't know his breed, we still don't know for sure as we only knew what his mum was, I was told he would be a medium sized dog ( smaller than a lab ).

I have never taken a dog to training classes and I don't know many people that have ( probably because there are none locally here ?).

Anyway, last time I posted a thread I was advised to remove the ball games which I did, this made him worse so yesterday I started taking the ball with us again, since then he has been a lot more chilled out and has slept a lot more, he still cries to be fed etc but I can just about deal with that if he is more settled and not leaping around the furniture. He's had a long walk today and is now asleep. I'm going to continue with the longer walk ( even if it does make me ache all over ) and see how it goes. I think there are so many things to work on with him and maybe I'm expecting too much from him, I can only really work on one thing at once rather than trying to cure all the problems at once.

The main problems I need help with is the jumping around ( maybe the extra long walk will help a little ), the barking and jumping up when people come to the door, I want to be able to have people over and him not bark and jump at them, I want to be able to have my little nephew visit without the dog barking and making him cry and without him licking his face.

I will talk to the vet and ask about local behaviourists but money is short so I'm not sure what I can afford, I will check my insurance to see if it's covered ( yes, he is insured ).

He's good when he is out, loves playing with other dogs but it's not often we see any, I might try the local dog walking group to see if we can join them.

Settle will be a good one to teach then if jumping/excitement with visitors.
Put him on lead, put it round the chair leg. Say settle
Completely ignore him until he quietens and lies down and praise, good settle, good settle!

It's one of the easier things to teach. You have to really ignore though. Sit watching something on tv

Actually this video is quite good. But I found the chair leg thing easier. I'm sure there's loads of ways to achieve it
m.youtube.com/watch?v=UWkeNbgE9Jc

Thank you Owl, I have started tying him to the stair gate before we leave for our walk and making him sit ( sometimes he gets so hyper he knocks things over, knocks his water over and scratches me ). I will start using the word 'settle' and reward him for being still. I have also started holding on to him when people come over so he can't jump up, it's hard work keeping hold of him but after a while he calms down a little and I can let go of him. It doesn't help that when my dad visits he encourages the dog to go crazy, I have told him many times not to do it and now I dread him coming over, he's undoing everything I have been reinforcing all week .

owllady - my dog is a Rottie and it's much bigger issues he has than just being on constantly (though he is and the have some very similar traits to collies, not hugely surprising given they were bred for herding cows) but I've had a behaviourist refuse to work with him and the behavioural specialist he sees has offered to have him PTS if I decide I've had enough my poor dog, lol.

But I just thought it's useful to know that they won't keep plugging away if it is a problem that is going to be horrible or almost impossible to resolve.

Jumping up at visitors...have you tried having him on the lead and standing on it? Because the lead is going down instead of up to your hand they physically can only jump so far, not high enough to jump up on a person and then the tricky bit is you need visitors to completely ignore him until he's actually on the ground properly, literally ignore him, don't speak to him, don't make eye contact, nothing and the second he tried again, withdraw, look away, and even fold their arms and turn away a bit...and then repeat, lots. So he's very obviously being ignored until he's on the ground and then he can be greeted.

Oh the standing on the lead works best with a double ended training lead because then it's long enough to have both feet properly on it.