Separation anxiety in rescue dog - support/advice/experience sought!

[Staffle]

Hello! First post here... I have been lurking in the Doghouse recently due to the brilliant advice posted here as myself and dh took on our first dog, a 2 yr old rescue staffy, 2 weeks ago and he has bad separation anxiety. He settles at night, downstairs, but in the day whines if myself or dh goes out (no children). We have a behaviourist on board and have been doing desensitisation/stuffed kongs/ leaving him for 5 seconds then 10 seconds etc. since we got him. We haven't got past a minute yet without pacing/whining and clear distress in the dog. Dh works in an office 8-6 in the week and I will work from home for the next 4 months, after that we will book him in for doggy daycare on the days I cannot work from home. The main problem is I feel trapped! Even me going to the toilet can set him off trying to find me, whining, and as for doing anything upstairs for more than a minute - not a chance without the whining starting. He whines even if just one of us leaves the room with the other sitting right next to him! He is a fabulous dog, we have grown very attached to him and we want to see this through. I have booked a dog walker once a week for a break but I'm too nervous about leaving him at doggy day care yet in case they leave him to whine and undo any work we have put in so far. I am getting anxious that he won't ever 'get over it' and we only want to leave him occasionally to go to the cinema or out for a meal but that seems so far away in the future at the moment!
Does anyone have any advice/support/experience about getting a dog through this roughly how long it can take?! Unfortunately I have no family or friends nearby that could help out. Many thanks :)

Hi Staffle

I feel your pain. We have had a rescue dog (not a staffie - a mixed breed of god knows what) for a week and I have had several meltdowns. The mental energy it takes is not something I planned for. Mine doesn't like males at all or any strangers really and follows me around the house, even sitting outside the loo. We hoped that DS1 (11) and DS2(9) would help but the dog just growls at them and goes to hide under the table or bed. Same with my DH. I am exhausted from getting up at 5am to walk him in the park when there are no other dogs (hates them) or people. My work is suffering and I am starting to feel resentful and useless
I was talking to a friend whose husband works at a local Dogs Trust and she said loads of dogs come back after a week so I console myself that I am not the only one who finds it hard. Stick with it - we're doing the right thing and they will repay many times over.
I'm going to leave mine for 30mins to do pick up at 3pm. Already feeling really nervous.

I was taking my rescue back about 100 times when we first got him well for the first 6 months really it was exhausting

Staffie Sorry yesterday was such a bad day. There will be good and bad days, but try to take heart, that soon the good days will outnumber the bad. The first few weeks are the hardest, but it does get easier. I was just filling out the forms for the new behaviourist we're going to see and it made me realise how far my boy has come. It's just over 12 months since we got him and he's now more of a delight than a stress factor. Believe me, there have been plenty of days where I've felt the opposite was true, so I know how you feel.

I know 12 months sounds like a long time, but in actual fact a lot of things that used to be an issue disappeared along the way and we didn't stop to notice, as life just carried on.

Oh - and by the way, my old Border Collie cross used to climb trees - to pick fruit!

Portabella as with Staffie, it's very early days and it will get better. Have you approached the rescue your dog came from for behavioural support?

My experience is limited and I've only had one dog as an adult. He is a staffy cross and is very bonded to me in particular. He was also a rescue and given up for adoption because he was destructive, noisy and 'untrainable'. When we first brought him home he was quite anxious - when left for any amount of time, he chewed a leather sofa, two leather dining chairs and the legs of the dining table, several playmobil dinosaurs and a few teddy bears. We also had quite a few 'accidents' on the carpet. it took a month or so but the anxiety faded and he is now quite OK with being left - he's always very happy to see people but when we leave he just mooches off and goes for a sleep.

What worked? Consistency - ie leaving him regularly for short times but always (obviously!) coming back. He needed to know that my people leaving does not mean my people leaving FOR EVER!

Calmness - don't make a fuss when you leave, just a quick pat and then out the door. No big deal.

And time - I think you said it's only been two weeks? There's still plenty of time.

BTW when he and I are at home alone on a Monday he will follow me everywhere for the first hour or so and will stand outside the loo when I'm in there. But after a time he gets bored or that and reassured I'm not going anywhere.

Your collie used to climb trees what

Yup, greengage and damson trees. We used to have to fence them off during the fruit season, as the daft dog would pull fruit off the branches, then eat them stone/pit and all.

It started with her just stretching up, then putting her front paws up the trunk and reaching as far as she could to get the fresh fruit, then she obviously decided she'd come that far, so she may as well finish the job and actually get up there.

Younger Lurcher loves a nice greengage too, but he only eats windfalls and nibbles very carefully around the stone/pit.

Have you got back to the rescue and talked to them about it? I have phoned a few times to ask various bits of advice. They should be really supportive and offer advice.

Mine goes after squirrels too but not climbed a tree yet. I always take a tennis ball with me - he is obsessed with them and can happily leave him off lead to chase ball :)

This forum is great too - I have had some good advice on here and they are really friendly bunch!

staffy-bull-terrier.niceboard.com/c1-staffordshire-bull-terrier-forums

We have good and bad days too - though mainly good now. Its a learning curve isn't it. REally please ask for some help from the rescue and staffy forum - it did me the world of good.

Dog climbing tree made my day my dog bounces from all fours im not sure how he manages it.

This is my dd's favourite book. Every time the repeating line "... but everyone knows that dogs never climb trees" comes up she loves to say "but we know they do, don't we Mummy".

Today has been better again - possibly a result of the Adaptil diffuser? Though it may be too early to tell, I was able to visit the toilet in peace and he seemed happy again to stay in his bed whilst I went upstairs for 3 minutes.

We have had a visit from the rescue to see how we are getting on and lots of advice from them but ultimately they can't see us leaving him for long for quite a long while yet and I think this is what is getting me and dh down. They suggested getting family and friends on board to give me a break (not possible, they all live too far away, bah!). What riled me today was dh rang a doggy day care place who seemed willing to take him until they found out he was a staffy then all of a sudden were 'indefinitely full'... Hmmm.

Love the tree climbing doggy, and that book, very funny moose!!! Today Ddog looked up every tree we passed, checking it for squirrel potential and climbability no doubt

Whatis - I'll check that forum, thank you.

And thank you for all your kind comments and advice, it really helps hearing from people who know what SA in dogs is for a start

Fingers crossed the Adaptil is helping then Staffie as it tends to build up efficacy, so if it's already helping that's a really good sign.

It doesn't work for my boy, I think because he was removed from his mum and dumped at birth, so never made the necessary associations with pheromone.

I do find Pet Remedy aromatherapy works to relax him, but my dcs hate the smell of it from the diffuser, so I just use the spray as and when we need it instead.

Glad yesterday was a bit better, how was today? There will be good and bad days... in the night our lad had done a poop on the only small bit of carpet he has access to (why do it on the tiled or laminated floor when there is a nice patch of carpet!!). Unfortunately DS got up early and went to see Ddog... he did not see poop and stepped in it (bare foot of course) and trod it into the carpet....... I was NOT seeing the funny side of that at 6.30am!! I can hear Ddog snoring in the next room at the moment :D interestingly his favourite spot is the chair next to adaptil diffuser.

Makes me sooooo cross attitudes to staffies grrrrrr!

Back after a busy weekend with my bro's dc's (aged 4 and 9) staying over and Ddog was impeccably behaved with the kids, avoiding the noisy unpredictable younger one (until she dropped food, then followed her around ) and then permanently lounged on the older one as he was declared The Best Giver of Hugs.
Whatis - that sounds horrid, dog poop and carpet - bleugh. I've not had to deal with that...yet!
The SA is getting slowly better, we can move around the house more freely without whining and he has stayed in his bed more whilst doing the loungedoor-frontdoor-exit-via-gate-and-back-again manoeuvre! We had a chat with a dog trainer too who has given us ideas for mentally stimulating Ddog plus enrolled him in her class so should be good.

I definitely think the Adaptil is working!

Feeling positive, at the moment!

Sorry if I am repeating other posts- haven't time just now to read all comments, but just wanted to add support and say it WILL get better! We have had our rescue staffy cross for almost 3 years,and he's great now, but when we first got him he was an absolute pain in the arse with terrible SA , as well as being destructive, peeing in house and most naughty behaviour you can think of!
I could have happily taken him back so many times, but wouksnr as we had made a commitment to take care of ( the little shit) him.
He is now still cheeky and funny, but the bad behaviour is all gone. It did take time and tested my patience to the limit but he is a good boy now. Good luck!

Really glad its going well. They are great with kids aren't they. Our Ddog was flat out asleep tonight but DS got the dog toys out and persuaded him up to play.... cue much tug of war and hilarity :) Love it!

I am now up to 1 minute out of the garden gate without a murmur from Ddog.... pushing for 75 seconds tomorrow - woohoo!

So not quite a cinema trip yet. Looks like Netflix only into the New Year!

Also taught Ddog 'leave' today. This is very important as the rabbit/squirrel chasing is getting out of control and the previously good recall declining. Going to use these training instructions:

www.cleverdogcompany.com/tl_files/articles/March%20-%20The%20Thrill%20of%20the%20Chase.pdf

Anyone tried this?!

I have also realised this thread probably has the excitement level of watching paint dry for those who have not come across SA. I'm hoping when we reach our goal of leaving the house for a proper errand (and not just loitering outside my own gate ) it will be useful for anyone who is going down the same SA path .
Your support so far has definitely taken the edge off the pain! Thanks :)

Good to hear still going well :)

I think I may have already mentioned this but have you tried him with a tennis ball when you go out? Mine got the whiff of rabbits whilst out and was starting to just want to look for them - the tennis ball keeps him focussed away from any wildlife and fulfills that terrier instinct to chase... honestly, give it a go!

I always keep a spare in my pocket and if he runs off towards something exciting i shout what's this and hold the ball up... he comes flying back to me despite the fact that he already has a ball in his mouth!

Our next thing is to work on pulling on lead... he's a nightmare for it!

Like tabulahrasa, I was wondering why your dog can't come with you during the day? My puppy is 15 months old and isn't allowed upstairs (stairgate) but other than that comes with us wherever we are. She comes into the downstairs loo but will sit and watch . I'm currently in the dining room and she's sitting at my feet. She has free run of the downstairs but will be in any room I am in.

He can follow me around downstairs but we don't want him upstairs so have a stair gate installed there. He has actually got much better, I can step outside the garden gate for 2 minutes now, the video shows him lifting his head up (from sleeping position) and chewing on whatever treat he has, but he doesn't get up. We'll just keep pushing this time up slowly. We can move around the house without him following us from being anxious - he's now just being nosey and comes over if he hears us doing something that he may benefit from, e.g opening his food cupboard!

His recall improves some days. I'll try the ball technique, thanks :). He's now on the lead more to stop him chasing things and our walks are consisting of more training not to pull, wait at kerbs etc. etc. but he did go bananas when he saw a cat the other day. I also read the book Treating Separation Anxiety In Dogs by Malena DeMartini-Price (thanks moosemama!) which is excellent in giving a step by step program and made me realise Ddogs SA is no where near as bad as it could be and we are tackling it the right way.

Thank you very much for all your helpful responses too :)

Great to hear he's making good progress.

I had the same reaction to that book. It helped me realise Pip's SA is nowhere near as bad as it could have been and that we're doing all the right things, it's just going to take time - and that made me relax a little about it.

Update, have done 3 mins now - he still lifts his head up (from sleeping) and looks about the whole time so I am not sure if I should still push the time up or wait until he is completely relaxed and doesn't even look up?

Food does not seem to work - as soon as he finishes whatever I give him he paces between both exit doors of the room he is in, seemly searching for me. I can leave him with a Kong and I am sure he would then be fine for longer - until it ran out, then I think he would start to fret.

On the massive plus side he seems totally fine in the evening at being left - we have watched him from a baby video monitor from the car and he gets out of his bed as we leave, settles himself on the sofa and snoozes away! He looks disappointed when we come back in . He's only allowed on the sofa 'when invited' (or if we are not looking )