Missing my old girl so much today [sad]

[Canshopwillshop]

We lost our 13.5 year old lab to bone cancer just over 3 weeks ago and today I am just feeling so sad and miss her so much. Even though in my heart I know we did the right thing in putting her to sleep, it all happened so quickly that I am questioning myself and wondering if we should have looked harder for something to help her, even though realistically we did everything but it was all too late . I put a coat on this morning which I haven't worn for ages and the pocket was stuffed with doggy poo bags - it made me cry.

Before she died, we went on the waiting list for a labradoodle puppy as we had planned to have 2 dogs. The pups are now born and will be due for homing towards the end of November but I am not sure if its going to be too soon. The thing is the children are so excited about the idea but I'm not sure what to do.

The other complication is that since losing old dog, I feel I want another labrador and I did find some lab pups which again, would be ready for homing end of November. however, when I suggested going for another lab instead of a labradoodle, DD got very upset - said it would remind her too much of old dog and that she's got her heart set on labradoodle. If we do proceed now, is it too risky to just go with the lab and hope that DD will love it once its here or should we stick with our original choice? Do i just want another lab because i am grieving for old dog? DS doesnt care - he just wants a dog - DH says its my choice because i will be the one looking after it most of the time. Both lots of pups will be available for choosing within the next few weeks.

Apologies as I have posted along these lines before but I am still no further forward in making any decision! I don't really trust myself to make the right decision at the moment!

Losing a friend is horrible. I can only comment from my own experience, we've had three dogs, a border collie followed by a springer and now another border collie. I didn't feel I could have the same breed following directly on as I wanted this dog to have it's own place and I thought I would be comparing the two if I had them too close together so I can understand you DD's POV.
Not sure that this is a lot of help, each dog made us their own and was much loved, I just thought it would take me longer to fall in love as I would be looking for the same characteristics in the new dog and they are all different.

I'm so sorry for your loss. We lost our old girl to bone cancer in spring 2013, at the same age and I know exactly what you mean. It does all happen too fast and you have no choice but to make fast decisions that you then find yourself questioning afterwards.

Fwiw, our lovely vet, who I really trust, was very straight with us and told us that by the time they find bone cancer, it has almost always metastasized, even with amputation and chemo etc prognosis is still really bad. Like you, we did everything we could, had her chest checked for mets and considered amputation and chemo, but it was just too late.

I am the same as NCIS. I've had seven dogs over the years, but each time felt I couldn't have a similar type/breed of dog straight away, as it wouldn't be fair on them if I was to find myself making comparisons. There are one or two that I will never have the same breed of again, as they would be so similar in appearance I don't think I could handle it.

As for the question of is it too soon, only you can answer that, as we all handle our grief differently. I knew I couldn't have another pup too soon after we lost our old girl last year and in fact had decided not to have another and just stick with Lurcherboy on his own, but was pushed into having another when we realised Lurcherboy simply couldn't cope with being an only dog. I didn't start looking straight away, but we lost Oldgirl in April and eventually took on a rescue pup in August. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to bond with and love him, as I was obviously still grieving, but in all honesty he was a tonic for the whole family and while the grief was/is still there, he helped us all to smile again and most of all helped our other dog to cope without his old best friend.

Please don't apologise for posting. It's a complicated situation involving both your and your dcs' emotions and it's only understandable that you need to work your way through it by talking with others that have been in similar situations.

Thank you both.
NCIS - yes, the comparisons could possibly be a problem. I had thought about a different colour lab but it would still obviously be very similar. Maybe a different breed would be better.

Moosemama - we were told that the cancer had more than likely spread though we didn't x-ray her lungs. She was just so lame and even the maximum dose painkillers were not helping. Amputation was not an option because she was very arthritic in her other limbs.
I am a bit worried about timing if we go ahead with the pup we are on the list for but, as it was all planned before we knew what was going to happen to old dog, it somehow makes things easier - I know in my heart that new pup would not be a replacement for her (though if I change my mind and go for the lab maybe I wouldn't feel quite as comfortable about this?!).
Food for thought ...

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's the most horrible thing to lose your companion. I lost my girl in August to cancer. When she went into the vet at first I told the kids that she would be fine as she was a young dog. But it was mesothelioma and she had days left. We went to Neston hospital for all the tests but there was nothing doing.

I said never again. But I couldn't bear not having my dog by my side all the time and 3 days later I was on the phone to breed rescue looking for an exact replacement. We didn't replace her, we got a boy - who looks similar obviously, but is very different and is helping with our grief immensely. And he is so needy I think he would of been difficult to rehome really which makes me feel less guilty for adopting him and trying to replace my girl so quickly.

If you go for another lab (which I think is what you want really) s/he will be a completely different dog - I doubt your daughter would feel the same once the pup was in the house.

firstly I think lots of people know exactly how you are feeling at the moment, I lost my old girl last september and still cry now and then when something reminds me of her.

Only you will know if its the right time for a new dog, I got my old girl about 3 weeks after my first ever dog had passed away to cancer, the house felt really empty without a dog and my mum knew someone who were looking to rehome a JRT puppy so I got her.

There were times I wondered if I did the right thing and to be honest the fact that she was so different to my first dog didnt make a difference (first one was a lurcher) and I can remember sitting in tears saying I didnt like her cos she had little legs That soon passed and she lived to be over 15 and I can honestly say she was one in a million.

I told myself I could never have another JRT but now I know that I will get another one, as KatharineClifton said they may look the same but are little individuals with their own personalities

Katharine - sorry to hear about your young dog, it's so unfair! But I'm pleased to hear stories of people who have taken on a new dog quite quickly. My heart is telling me to get another lab but I am worried about DD...
Daisy - thank you. I love the story of your old JRT and her little legs. I know there will have to be a period of adjustment and new dog won't fill the huge gap old dog has left but it's what our family needs.

I totally understand. I hope it's not too long before you have another by your side, whichever way you decide to go.

I'm really sorry for your loss. We lost our lab to cancer in August, he was 13 too. I miss him everyday.

Like you we were already planning on getting a puppy before he died. We pick up the puppy in a couple of weeks. We couldn't get another lab as we felt we would constantly be comparing so we're getting a GSP. Very similar temperament to a lab but probably a bit higher energy. We also have an 18mth old GSD so think things are about to get lively in our house!

I think you just have to go with your heart and do what feels best for you.

Thanks Didly. Sorry for your loss too. Good luck with the new pup - what is a GSP (I am guessing German Shepherd Pup?). X

Sorry for abbreviations. GSP is German Shorthaired Pointer, we're getting a solid liver boy

Our German Shepherd is my husband's police dog so there is a big pet dog shaped hole in our house.

Ooh lovely . Good luck with the new arrival.

I'm so sorry :(

I miss my lovely old girl who had to be put to sleep in June because she had a brain tumour :(

Just seen your update - GSHPs are lovely dogs

I used to walk one (I am a dog walker).

It's heartbreaking isn't it? Here's to our lovely old dogs .

I am so sorry to hear that and do understand - my beloved greyhound was pts in February and even though I knew he had to, I did doubt myself and question if I had done everything - I had - but even so kept thinking maybe I should have (selfishly) kept him a few days longer. I immediately wanted another dog but it took till June to find the right one and I got him from a rescue that I starting working at as a volunteer in April so it was a natural thing. I think another dog does help but I still feel sad for my previous dog at times but the way I see it, I am a great mum to my dogs and am simply offering a new one some love and a good home and it in no way reflects badly on my previous dog, if anything it shows how wonderful a pet he was that I want to do it again as he brought me such love and companionship. He just sort of "got me". Even typing this I feel teary. I now have a rescue staffie-cross and for me it was the right thing to get a different breed and I have been overwhelmed by how truly fantastic they are.
Sending you lots of love and you will make the right decision I am sure but the pain is terrible at the time you lose them and we all understand.

Ah, thanks brunette .