dog rescues telling me to buy a puppy.....

[Doraemon]

So as you may know we are looking for a dog. We have 3 DC (9, 7 and 19 months), a cat and a guinea pig, and DS1 has high-functioning autism and is rather anxious. I appreciate we are not the easiest home to find a dog to suit us, and that a lot of rescue dogs with issues relating to their background would not be suitable. But I grew up with rescue dogs and with the idea that if you want a dog, you should get one from a rescue, and with one or the other parent at home all day every day for at least the next 2 or 3 years now feels like the right time to settle a day into the family.

Having spoken to 2 rescues (one generic, one breed specific) and emailed a third, I have had 2 suggestions that we should buy a puppy (probably a labrador) and train it up ourselves, and one slightly patronising response that they feel I 'maybe have enough to look after'.

I know they have to do what's right for the dogs but I am feeling slightly frustrated that I am trying to do the right thing and being told not to. So many people round here seem to just buy random dogs (usually staffies) and breeding them regardless of age of children/work patterns etc etc.

Also I know nothing about puppies other than that they pee everywhere and chew furniture.

What to do? I'm not sure we could cope with a puppy, although if we were going to get one we should do it now while I'm home every day. And I'm a bit wary of buying a random older dog through classified adverts. Help!

settle a dog, not a day, obviously.....

First thing I would say is these rescues clearly hve no idea how benficial dogs can be to children with high functioning autism.

I would spread your net further and try some of the rescues like Many tears who are maybe a bit less genric in their reponse.

Have you tried Lurcher Link and Evesham Greyhound and Lurcher Rescue? Both are non-generic in their approach to rehoming and not adverse to rehoming with young children, if the dog is the right match for the home. You may have a bit of a wait for the right dog to come up, but when it does they will have matched the dog to your home, so it's more likely to be a successful adoption.

Try K9 patrners, they seem very sensible and have some adult dogs that are good with kids.
But also, your youngest is very young and a lot of rescues are not happy homing any dog with under fives.

We struggled with rescue centres when we were looking for a dog and pretty much got told the same thing - to buy a puppy as they wouldn't consider reforming to us as we had an under 5.

We've always had dogs, DH and I both grew up with dogs, I wasn't going to be our first dog as a family (we'd already had a rescue before kids) we weren't clueless.

I worked part time from home, DD1 in school full time, DD2 in pre-school 5 mornings a week, we lived rurally with miles and miles of walking available, family who would jump at the chance of dog sitting if required, but they wouldn't even look at our experience or circumstances. Just you have an under 5? No chance.

Very frustrating.

I contacted local lab breeders and let them know I was looking for an older dog.
Some have a policy that if a puppy doesn't work out the buyer can return them and they will rehome them on for the owner, so after a few months wait I received a call from a breeder who had a 7 month old chocolate lab returned due to the owners ill health. We have had him three years now and although he had a few issues from a lack of training he settled in just fine and after some training classes is a star.

It's worth ringing and leaving your contact details.

Thank you for all the suggestions. Kinkymouse how did you find local breeders?

If you go onto the kennel club website there are lists of breeders by breed and by region. Just search what your after.

Just to point out that I did still have to pay but at a much reduced rate. As we didn't want a puppy it worked for us. The breeder was still thorough with homing the dogs as she had another at the time but said it wouldn't be suitable for our circumstances. And she was lovely in the first few weeks when I was always on the phone asking ridiculous questions.

I have two dc with autism and we bought a puppy. If I'm honest we didn't consider a rescue primarily because it would be our first dog and didn't feel confident enough to take on a dog with issues. Eric has been an absolute joy, he knew instinctively that ds and dd needed a different approach so with ds he sat and waited by his feet for weeks waiting for ds to stroke him but with dd he danced round her knowing he'd be fussed. Ds was never keen on dogs but loves Eric and Eric's patience paid off because ds allows him to sit on his knee now.
I think in your shoes without the little one I'd have taken on a puppy but with the little one might it be better to wait a while particularly as in my experience autism gets really tough when a child gets to secondary school age?

I had the same dilemma, would prefer a rescue dog but the rescue centres were reluctant to rehome a dog with us as we have 2 DD's aged 4 and 7.
To cut a long story short, I rehomed an older pup from K9 Rescue Bulgaria.
He's six months old and we have had him for 4 weeks. As he is older we've had few toilet/chewing issues. The lady that runs the rescue told me that she has had dogs all of her life from rescue centres but then had problems adopting a dog once she had kids. They seem good at matching the dog with the right family.
Best of luck and hope you find the right dog soon!

I volunteer for Action Aid for Animals and I'm about to adopt via Balkan Underdogs. They will definitely consider any rehoming application from you. They will organise a homecheck (a national voluntary network of people) so you can discuss your home situation with them.

I would definitely contact any smaller rescues and discuss your situation with them. They are often more flexible than bigger rescues and should be non-judgemental! Also, smaller rescues often have their dogs in foster homes as they can't afford big kennels, so the dogs are already used to a home environment with other dogs/cats/children etc - so they can be properly assessed - don't give up on rescues!

There are some dogs who will suit suit and others that won't. Any rescue worth its salt should be able to discuss any options. You may have to wait a while, but I'm sure you'll be able to find a lovely dog eventually.

We were told the same by dogs trust as we have a 4 and 5 year old. So I'm going to lurcher link, hounds first and Evesham greyhound and lurcher rescue. I work part time, mostly from home but I don't have the time a pupy needs and am far more drawn to an adult rescue dog. We need cat safe too so could be a wait but the right dog will turn up I'm sure.

maybe look at pets 4 homes or something and rescue one from someone privately.

I would advise against rehoming a dog privately - you have absolutely no guarantee of what you're getting - just what the seller tells you - which unfortunately could be a load of lies. You'll have no rescue backup if you need help, no health checks by a vet before taking on the dog, no way of returning the dog if you absolutely had to... no guarantee of temperament, nothing, and all you'd probably be doing is lining the pockets of some idiot backyard breeder.

Please try smaller rescues, if you're persistent and willing to travel a certain distance, I'm sure you'll find a dog which will fit your circumstances.

I have a severely disabled child and rescues have Bern conceivably th is. I think you have had a bad experience :(

Goodness, it changed my message!
I said rescues have Bern fine about her disability

When my autistic son was 7 we got a puppy. Best thing we ever did for my son. He loved that dog, and a second dog we got the same age as the first, two years later. Well, our pup grew up to be a handsome staffie who died quite young (6) but the other dog lived to be over 14. She was PTS only last week. I went to a rehoming centre today (can't live long without a dog but can no longer afford hundreds of pounds for a pedigree pup as I have in the past). My autistic son is now 21 and about to go to uni. I have 12 and 14 year olds still at school. We also have an elderly cat.

Rehoming charity have advised us to go on the waiting list for a pup. They say they usually have some in, and it's unusual they have none at the moment, but we are on their puppy list and I will ring them every other day til we hear pups are in. (We are experienced staffie owners, and for obvious reasons, staffs and staff xs are the commonest pup they get). So maybe you can combine getting a pup with benefiting a rehoming charity. I am happy to wait and maybe the first litter that come in will be a day old, maybe 10 weeks... but we will wait if we have to and act fast if we have to. I'm really made up that they even have pups as I hadn't expected that.