Need help regarding a 'should I get a dog?' question and can I keep one outside?

[shadypines]

Hi, DD 12yrs has been pining for a dog for years. I would love to be able to oblige but two things have always worried me.

1. I'm not keen on having a dog around the house EXCEPT in my back room off the kitchen where floor is washable.
   
   
2. I worry about leaving the dog alone when I am at work for 2 and half days per week.
   
   So my main questions are do people keep dogs outside at all, at least most of the time? Are there decent kennels available that are easy to be cleaned and are comfortable for dog (keep it warm etc) And can I leave a dog on its own all day, would it be ok, what about the pooping situation?!
   
   Any advice re these questions or any other helpful stuff you can tell me would be really appreciated. Thanks.

[goodasitgets]

You can but it would need work. My friends dog is in their room off the kitchen overnight and outside during the day. They've got a big garden, built a dog run and a huge insulated kennel. I'm looking after this dog for a week and it's hard work - no lie in, dog has to be let out. Have walked 45km in 5 days because it's a breed that needs a lot of work
I would say if YOU don't want a dog, then don't get one

[Viviennemary]

I'd say if you need to ask 'should I get a dog' then you absolutely should not get one. The dog will have a miserable life. And you will be the one ending up feeding it and doing the walks. Just say no.

[pigsDOfly]

The desire to please a 'pining' child is probably one of the worst reasons for getting a dog.

Dogs are hard work and they need care and training. Your daughter is not going to be able to fulfil a dog's needs so it would fall to you, and you don't want it.

You can't buy a living breathing creature to please your 12 year old for a few weeks until she gets bored with it and shove it outside in the garden.

There are so many abandoned dogs, so many unwanted dogs in shelters, so many unwanted dogs being destroyed because the shelters have no room for them. Please don't add the their number.

[giraffescantboogie]

www.borrowmydoggy.com/

[Southpaws]

Would you like to live outside on your own in December? Thought not.

[insanityscratching]

We got our first ever dog around dd's 11th birthday. He is technically dd's dog in so far as she named him. He has the run of the downstairs, he sleeps either on the sofa or in his basket. Dd loves him, she plays with him every day, dh and I walk him , feed him, fund him, pick up his poop, fill in the holes that he digs, clean the walls and floors when he comes home filthy, bathe him etc. He is a full member of our family and we love him but it was very hard initially and a huge upheaval like having a baby eleven years after the last one.
It doesn't sound like you are prepared for that sort of upheaval and so you shouldn't get a dog.

[Logarhythm]

Our new pup arrives next Sunday. The dcs have pined after a dog for a good couple of years. Dh is not a dog person, never had a dog growing up but he said it was up to us, we could get a dog but he would not take any responsibility for it (in defence of dh he works over 70 hours a week so he doesn't have a lot of free time). I said no, we all either welcome a dog into our lives or there will be no dog.
So dh said he'd think about it. Dcs were not allowed to beg talk to him about the dog, so that he would make a decision without pressure. A year later he was ready and he told the dcs, they cried.
So now we are all preparing for our puppy's arrival, we're all getting excited....it's a proper family adventure and when we hit hard times with the puppy we'll all work (to support me) to fix the problem. It's the dc's dog on a superficial level but it's the adult's responsibility.

It's worth waiting till the right time, the impact on your life will be huge and you'll have to embrace all of it both negatives and positives.

Please wait till you're ready to welcome a dog into your life, it's been hard for us to wait but I'm so glad we did.

[LaBelleDameSansPatience]

Agree with all the above; maybe DD can help out in a rescue centre, offer to walk other people's dogs, perhaps you are she could join the Cinnamon Trust to support someone who needs help keeping their dog. Then you would both learn about dogs and their needs and may (or may not) choose to get one at some future time.

[mrslaughan]

A dog is not a toy that you park in a room for your daughter to play with when she wants, it is a living breathing thing that has needs. Hang out here enough, you read v sad stories of dogs that are completely screwed up because of the owners.
For you to have a dog you need to be prepared to compromise.
Dog needs to be with the family......our dog does not have run of house, he is not allowed upstairs to the bedrooms, but has the run of the downstairs where all our living areas are.
Going out to work - can be done, but you would need to have a dog walker come in and take it out , on the full days twice.

In your situation if all of the above has not put you off, I would go for a adult dog, well not a puppy anyway. Do research on breeds, think about what your requirements are in terms of exercise etc.....don't do size first...many people think small dogs mean less exercise, when often the reverse is true.
There are also breeds that don't shed, (I am not thinking the 'poos of the world) but then these have to be groomed regularly , which is an extra expense.

Maybe to test your daughters commitment, she could volunteer for a rescue, or walk an elderly relatives or neighbours dog?

[BellaVita]

Do not get a dog.

Your post makes me want to weep.

[ClariceBeanthatsme]

What about a rabbit for outside. It will be very exciting for you all buying and setting up the cage. Then choosing it plus you can bring it indoors to play with sometimes?

[MitchellMummy]

Agree with other posters. Think you know the answer really ... I nagged my parents for a dog ... got one when I was 32! Also the years between 12 and the end of the dog's life (say when DD is 24 or 25) can bring massive changes in life (from child to teenager to adult). I'm sure there's some local people who would appreciate help with their dog.

[Floralnomad]

Do not get a dog ,also do not get a rabbit ,they need loads of input ,not just to be sat in a cage and got out to play ! Infact ,don't get any animals .

[shadypines]

hi all, I am a bit shocked at the verocity of some of your replies to be honest. I understand that you don't want someone to get a dog who is going to neglect it, that is not me! That is why I am asking these questions. I thought I made it clear that it is not me that wants a dog but my DD and whether it would be possible for her to have one. I have seen people with dog kennels outside that's why I was wondering if the outside life was a possibility. I would NOT want a dog to be lonely or cold!

Sorry handcream but why do I sound daft, I am not a dog expert and needed help with the answers to these questions to see if we were able to look after a dog. I find your answer unhelpful and offensive. Would you know how to look after an animal that you had no experience of?

[BOFster]

Definitely do NOT get a dog. The only dogs I've been aware of that are kennelled were working dogs on farms, and they had other dogs for company. The also had the stimulation of their 'jobs', spending much of the day out in the fields with the boss. They did not behave like family pets at all, and nor would they, being excluded from the home.

Surely the whole appeal of a dog to a small child is cuddling up to it on the sofa and trotting around the house with it? It most assuredly is NOT walking it in all weathers, nor is it doing much in the way of practical useful care, like cleaning up after it. So a dog sitting miserably outside, probably barking at the neighbours all day is not much fun for your dd, much less the dog.

As has been said, dogs are sensitive social animals, and it would be your responsibility to meet those needs. As you don't want to, and your child can't in the situation you outline (even supposing she is not among the 99% of kids who lose all interest once their wish becomes reality), this idea is beyond ridiculous. DON'T DO IT.

[SnakeyMcBadass]

Having a dog is a lifestyle choice really. You have to adapt the way you do things day to day to incorporate it. They take up a huge amount of attention which if you're not fully on board you will resent very quickly. Dogs are a tie, financially, emotionally and physically. They are social creatures and bond with their people in a way which means that you feel a responsibility towards them heavily. Short of adding another child to your family, a dog is a massive commitment. I would strongly suggest that you rule out dog ownership for now and perhaps look at other, lower maintenance pets. No criticism, OP, just advice.

[shadypines]

Logarythm thankyou) for your nice reply and some others.

I have basically been called daft and cruel on here by some of you for not knowing the answers to some questions. (errr that's why I am here) I am asking the questions because I do not want to be cruel to a dog or any animal. Handcream was there really a need for the snide way you answered me? It's quite beyond belief the way some of you have attacked me as if I am already guilty of cruelty to a dog!

I hope you are kinder and more patient to your dogs than you have been in your replies to me.

[BOFster]

Here is a useful link with some points about the reality of keeping dogs outdoors which you might not have been aware of. There will be other sites which deal with the more general question of how suitable your lifestyle is for dog ownership, but to forewarn you, all of them will say that getting a dog because your child wants one is a bad idea.

[Southpaws]

I would imagine we are all patient and kind with our dogs, hence the frustration when people suggest (however innocently) treating a dog in an unkind way by leaving it outside with limited company.

[Logarhythm]

It's important to realise we all do things differently - I wouldn't have a dog upstairs, a breeder who I rejected, had 11 dogs all in cages, she was well thought of, but it wasn't the way I felt dogs should live.

When I was a kid all dogs lived outside, ours had a wooden kennel inside our garage, he was perfectly happy mouching around our yard, knew everyone, visited neighbours, it was normal then - wouldn't be now, but then we were a lot more free range prior to now.

We are getting a whippet - low shedding, low smell, moderate exercise requirements - of course it may not have those characteristics and we'll deal with whatever he is...getting a dog used to be so easy, someone's dog had pups and you got one, no puppy training classes, fed scraps, no leads, no walks, no enclosure....the whole thing is so over managed, pet are big business. I spend half my time telling my dcs that most of the equipment in pet shops it for the humans not the dogs.

I bet there was more abandoned dogs back then....but it's a lot more complicated now.

[merrymouse]

Dogs are a really pain. They often have bad habits, whether that is chewing, barking or just being a bit jumpy. I reckon that the difference between my house with and without a dog is at least an hour of house work a day depending on how much it is raining. (I don't do an extra hour of housework a day - the house could just looks as though it could do with it). You have to walk them every day. Some dogs pull on the lead and have awful recall and some dogs do not like other dogs. You can't go anywhere for the day without planning who is going to look after the dog. You have to pick up their poo every day. I think we spent about £1000 on doggy related things in our dog's first year, excluding the dog. (crate for car, food, training, vet, the right kind of lead etc. etc.)

You can keep a dog outside, but you need to be absolutely sure that it won't try to escape or bark.

All of the above will be your responsibility. A 12 year old cannot be legally responsible for a dog.

The upside is that a dog is a dog.

If you can't look at your pet all misty eyed and say it is worth it, it isn't worth it. I love my children, but I don't deal with all the above so that they can have a dog. I do it so I can have a dog.

[KEGirlOnFire]

OP, unfortunately MN appears to be full of people who judge instead of just providing factual answers to factual questions.

You are not daft AT ALL. In fact, you should be rewarded for coming on here and asking the questions instead of just going and getting one which I imagine is what 95% of unsuitable dog owners do. You do not deserve the sort of responses that you've received.

So I guess through all the harshness in the responses, you've got the gist that maybe a dog isn't for you and your DD .

Is there a local animal shelter near by? I was desperate for a cat when I was in my late teens and volunteered at a local RSPCA home for cats. I used to go in on a Sunday and clean out all the pens, feed the cats, clean their litter trays and give them some attention.

Maybe this is something that your DD could do? She could help walk the dogs maybe? This will give her an opportunity to fulfill her passion for dogs and help them at the same time.

[maisiechain]

Hello shadypines, haven't read all replies so sorry if this repeats other advice:) Well done for being honest about what concerns you have! I don't think it sounds like you really want a dog, so in short, no do not get one! If your 12 year old is that desperate there are other ways to satify her needs: I think theres some website called 'borrow my dog' or something which I heard about; or else do what I did for a while and offer to walk a neighbours dog; even better, she is old enough to perhaps volunteer with you to help with dogs at a rescue centre, find a local one and offer to help walk/play with their dogs - it would be really rewarding:)
HTH

[maisiechain]

On the other hand & to answer your questions:
*no dogs can't be kept outdoors or in just one room, but ours is only allowed downstairs - train from a puppy to never go upstairs (stairs are bad for some dogs hips anyway) and you will have a dog free zone, which I actually think is good for you, children and the dog.
*I know plenty of people who work part-time and have dogs:) It can be done, but you will need to set aside money to pay a really good dog walker/sitter.
But seriously if this is not something YOU want, I wouldn't do it. I have a dog and I'm a massive dog lover BUT it has been the single most stressful thing ever to raise a puppy! (love him though:))

[murphys]

OP, do you live in UK? The reason I ask this is that I don't and what you describe is a bit how our dogs live. They do live outside mostly (sleep inside during 3 months of winter only). We have larger properties generally so there is a lot more space, to put big kennels, have shaded areas etc.

They do spend time in the garden when we are not home, but there again it is a little different as there is usually always someone at home, if it isn't me (I work from home), then my helper is here. Even though I am at home, they are usually outdoors anyway. This is by choice I should add, our Lab will come indoors sometimes (if its extremely hot he will lie on tiles). We have fully enclosed gardens, so they cant get out, and someone else cant take them either.

So, I think that a lot of things depends on the circumstances that you live in. If you don't have the space then you really shouldn't consider a big dog. You also need the time to train them from puppy (believe me this isn't easy having a pup myself).

I have a 12 year old dd too, so I know what they are like with their fluttering eyelashes You do know that it is you who is going to end up feeding puppy mostly, visiting the vet, bathing the dog, walking etc. You cant let all of that lie on the shoulders of a 12 year old....

I know someone mentioned it, but what about a cat? They are much more independent and are mostly lovable animals.

You did say that you weren't all that keen on a dog, but they will be part of your family from day one for at least 12 years onwards, so it is going to alter your life as it is now.