He is 13, we have had him for ten years. He has been fading for some time. He had a tumour a couple of years ago and had to have his toe amputated. He recovered from that but the vet said it was likely he would become ill from a tumour elsewhere. The last few months he has been off his food a bit, getting thinner, we changed his diet, but the last few weeks he's really been struggling. He looks listless and downhearted, though until last week he was still having 'mad moments' chasing round the place every so often.
We booked the vet a couple of weeks ago but cancelled when he rallied a bit. He has got worse though, and I think he has had enough.
I made him scrambled eggs with smoked salmon for breakfast this morning (is his favourite!) but he didn't want it. He has eaten some chicken this evening but he looks so tired - doesn't want to go for his walks and struggles to get up the step. He is still him though, and that is what makes it so difficult. He still snuggles up and wags his tail, still dreams of winning races and barks ar rabbits in the garden.
I know it is the right time but I feel horribly guilty and so sad about it. I want him to go on for ever, but not like this - I want him back how he was a few years ago - glossy, full of health and life. It just feels so hard. How do you know you are making the right decision? He trusts us completely - how can we do this to him? We are burying him in our field and I just can't bear to think of him out there in the cold tomorrow night. :(
We also have to tell our 4 year old twins, who will be brokenhearted. He's been such an important part of our family.
Thanks for reading, any advice on how to cope with it all very welcome.