tell me i am being crazy

[lu9months]

I have a husband with a terminal brain tumour and three kids, and I work. i cant stop thinking of the lonely evenings ahead, and the grief me and the kids are going to have to deal with. and i keep coming back to the idea of getting a dog and how happy a puppy would make us. its clearly bonkers since i have so much on my plate, and very little money. but i just cant help wishing i could have one.

Aww, sorry to hear about your husband. How about volunteering as a dog walker for a rescue or Cinnamon Trust? With the latter you could probably pick your times - my neighbour has them walk her dog, but usually they can only do weekends.

You want to hear it so I will say it, you are being crazy.

We have a 1 year old lab who is our first dog and although he is great he is so much work and such a huge commitment, he needs hours of my time walking, training and playing everyday. You wont realise how much until you have one. I don't think this is the right time for you.

Sorry about your husbands illness.

I am very sorry about your husbands illness.

Maybe the site I came across may be of some help - www.borrowmydoggy.com/
it isn't free though.

In my experience puppies do not make you happy, tired, exasperated, completely hysterical with tears...with the odd five minutes of cheerfulness.

They're really really hard work.

Dogs, dogs are great, puppies are pretty full on...I remember distinctly sobbing away telling my DP that having another baby would have been easier.

I am so sorry for your husbands illness. This must be such a stressful time. Personally i think you should put off on getting a dog until you have less on your plate. It really is like deciding to have a baby- it requires a massive time commitment that really i dont think you can actually give right now.

I am sorry to hear that.

OP, a friend of mine's got a dog when her husband died. She works 4 days a week.

They got carefully matched with a 1yr old rescue beautiful mongrel. The dog has brought them much happiness and something positive to focus on.

She is walked before work, then a dog walker comes in at lunch time.

The dog seems very happy, the family too.

It really CAN work with the right dog, and the right set up.

A good rescue should be able to match you with a dog that was surrendered by someone who cared for it. It happens, not all rescues are problem dogs.

And a dog older than 6 months would be so much easier fir you.

Don't give up on the idea just yet.

Even though it seems like a good idea and I can see why you think so, it's just not the right time.

I'm so, so sorry to hear of your husband's illness. You need time now for him, your children and your work. You simply cannot take on another huge responsibility now. You could easily end up resenting the dog and the time, commitment and money it will take.

Perhaps later on, in a year or so, you could think about it. See how you feel, how your children feel and then it could be something to look forward to. But, even then, it will take time, commitment and money which may still be in short supply. You may not wish to tie yourself to a dog when your children will have you as a sole parent, when dogs can't be left for a whole day etc. What about helping out at a local rescue where you can walk the dogs every now and again?

Again, I'm so sorry and I wish you strength in the coming months.